Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

I'm just curious.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Yes. My husband and I do not have any fertiltity issues. I got pregnant the first time after 3 months of TTC (Charting). While I had a difficult pregnancy and PPD, I did not have any medical issues that would prevent us from having another biological child.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Joe and I decided that we were going to adopt regardless of our ability to conceive when we got married. We planned on having "one and one" as we said it. First a biological, then an adopted child. After trying au natural for biological #1 for a few years and not getting anywhere, we got more serious with timing and then I finally talked to my OB/GYN about it. We thought we'd have both children before I turned 30 but God had a different plan for us. My OB/GYN wrote up an Rx for an HSG but did not believe blocked tubes were the problem. After I got the procedure done, they diagnosed me with 2 blocked tubes. I was told at that point that my only options were IVF or adoption, adoption naturally seeming more appealing to me at that point. I continued researching my options online, visited an RE and requested an Rx for a tubal cannulation (fine wire through my tubes.) All the while I was exploring adoption, figuring I could never get pregnant. The RE wrote me the Rx, I went to StonyBrook Hospital, and they did a routine HSG before they started the procedure. At that point, they told me BOTH tubes were clear and that my tubes either cleared out on their own or the first test results were faulty. I went on Clomid and had one IUI where I was told I was the most fertile turtle around because I had a trillion eggs. Well, still no pregnancy and Joe and I decided to stop at that point bc we felt it was just God's way of telling us that we were supposed to grow our family through adoption. I truly believe getting the incorrect diagnosis was a sign bc that's when we both decided that adoption was meant for us. We see no difference between having a biological or adoptive child and once we made the decision to adopt, we went from feeling so overwhelmed and depressed over infertility issues to so excited and everything just fell into place so quickly, like it was meant to be. Fate. If anything we feel we are doubly blessed to be able to adopt. If we do have a biological child, we will of course be thrilled as well, but either way I feel so priviliged, so blessed, so honored to have adoption as an option in my life. Sorry for the novel.

Message edited 4/26/2006 8:52:32 PM.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

After years and years of trying to concieve, We finally went the adoption route. i have to say it wasn't our first choice, but now it seems as if growing a familiy any other way would have just been "wrong" for us.

We had 7 IVFs. With multiple miscarraiges. We also had 3 HSG's a tubal ligation, genetic counseling, gentic testing and on and on and on...

I had my finaly miscarraige on October 22nd 2002. That was 4 days after my brothers wedding. We traveled to Oklahoma, and I wasn't feeling weel the whole time. My mom was no help she kept telling me that it was all in my head. Well my D and C was a on the 23rd. Two days after I arrived home. So i guess it wasn't in my head.

We had started the adoption a few months prior and to make a long story short in my deeep deep depressive state I told DH to mail in the fingerprint paper. (What ever number that is) and on Oct 27th Cathy D from New beginnings called with Tia's referral. She said she was waiting for our paperwork to call with the referral. (We had been holding on to it for a long time, because we knew we were pregnant) Talk about Gods will. well here we are almost 4 years later doing it again. I have no desire to try to get pregnant again.

Actually after this adoption is finaly we will probably make sure that a "accidental" pregnance doesn't happen. Our family will be complete. I always wanted 2 children and now we will have them.

Hopefully we will get a referrla soon.

Jennifer

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

We, like Susan had always had the plan of one and one also. I knew going in with PCOS it was going to be a bit difficult, but not impossible for me. When we started trying, we also started researching adoption, and various countries. Decided on China and really started doing a lot of reading. We did 2 IUI's, which failed. I was in the office for blood work for the third IUI, and while waiting was reading a book on China adoptions, I made the final decision. Got up, said to the receptionist, I can't wait, I have to go. Called DH and said, "why are we doing this when our hearts are in China". That was it and we never looked back. I honestly don't even have the desire to even try to get preggo. If we decide to have another baby, we will adopt again

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Thanks for sharing these stories. I'm sorry for the pain you had to go through.

I have no reason to expect fertility issues, but I just have always had it in my heart to adopt, even before I knew I was adopted.

I've seen so many people struggle with IF issues, and I'm so glad that adoption is available. I see so many families who have so much joy from adopting and wouldn't have it any other way, and others, who I can't understand who will spend a lifetime being depressed over being childless, but for some reason will not adopt.

I love adoption. it's such a special way to bring families together, and i really feel that adopted children are just as much "meant to be" as a bio child!

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Our infertility issue is--I am in the middle of menopause, not peri- the real thing -have not had a monthly cycle in over 2 yrs (sorry if it is TMI--)and after having more than one discussion w/ my gyno, I decided I did not want to put my body through the stress, or myself the stress of the drugs, tests, etc....DH has an adopted sister and brother and niece. My aunt is adopted. So it seems only natural to us to continue the path. It my heart of hearts, I never thought I would have my own biological child. weird as it seems, I just 'knew' that I would miss that experience. I feel blessed, as Susan said, to have this option and opportunity, our friends and family are so supportive and excited for us. Last summer we hosted 2 girls (ages 8 & 10 yrs old) from the Ukraine with the prospect of adopting them, but it didn't feel 'right' for me, and DH was very upset w/ my decision. I wanted a baby/toddler and through all our discussions we finally decided to go ahead and adopt them and with that decision made it was the like the same day that God had other plans for us b/c the Ukraine stopped accepting adoption applications (there is a story behind that) for the time being and now we couldn't adopt the 2 girls. Then I met someone who had adopted a child about 15 yrs ago and referred this woman who is an adoption counselor to me and after I had a long conversation with this counselor I told DH, that's this was our answer, we are adopting from China! We are both excited and next Wednesday we go for our fingerprinting and I can't wait for out LID to come back to us from China knowing we are officially on the "wait list" in China for our child and she will have a forever family waiting for her here!

Message edited 4/27/2006 12:28:12 PM.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Well, I am TTC now (mainly because my DH would like to have a biological child)...However, I definetely want to adopt a child. I do not really have a huge desire for a biological child, to me there is no difference between adopted and biological. At this point in time though, financially we would not be able to start the adoption process.

I am a lurker on your boards, just because I know it's something I want to do. One of my brothers is adopted (I have six) and honestly he is one of my closest friends, and I cannot imagine where I would be or where he would be withought us, so this is something I grew up knowing about and always wanting!

Good luck to all of you that are in this process now! You are saving a life, helping a child to have a family, you will always be blessed.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Trust me when I say the money is just there when you need it for adoption. We don't have the money to adopt either, but we started the process and everytime we needed money-it was there. Seeing that happen, I know that this is meant to be. There have been no hurdles....we have our 2nd house in Pennslyvania for sale to complete the adoption process and to support the cost of a child...so we are now waiting for that to sell. Don't let the cost scare you away. There is even a tax credit of $10,500 for adoption, and my company contributes $3,500 towards adoption.

Good luck with everything!!!

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

My close friend adopted from Guatamala last year, she refinanced her house, and did get a large credit back form the government, Let me tell you her little man is AMAZZZING...the biggest gift, not only did he come to her on mothers day oast year...but it was her birthday too, I think it made a lifetime of gifts!!!

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

On mother's day? OHMY--amazing!!! and her birthday!!! That is beautiful.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Funny -- my cousin held her DD from China in her arms for the first time on her Bday too -- which happens to be on St. Pattie's Day!

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Posted by Susan

Joe and I decided that we were going to adopt regardless of our ability to conceive when we got married. We planned on having "one and one" as we said it. First a biological, then an adopted child. After trying au natural for biological #1 for a few years and not getting anywhere, we got more serious with timing and then I finally talked to my OB/GYN about it. We thought we'd have both children before I turned 30 but God had a different plan for us. My OB/GYN wrote up an Rx for an HSG but did not believe blocked tubes were the problem. After I got the procedure done, they diagnosed me with 2 blocked tubes. I was told at that point that my only options were IVF or adoption, adoption naturally seeming more appealing to me at that point. I continued researching my options online, visited an RE and requested an Rx for a tubal cannulation (fine wire through my tubes.) All the while I was exploring adoption, figuring I could never get pregnant. The RE wrote me the Rx, I went to StonyBrook Hospital, and they did a routine HSG before they started the procedure. At that point, they told me BOTH tubes were clear and that my tubes either cleared out on their own or the first test results were faulty. I went on Clomid and had one IUI where I was told I was the most fertile turtle around because I had a trillion eggs. Well, still no pregnancy and Joe and I decided to stop at that point bc we felt it was just God's way of telling us that we were supposed to grow our family through adoption. I truly believe getting the incorrect diagnosis was a sign bc that's when we both decided that adoption was meant for us. We see no difference between having a biological or adoptive child and once we made the decision to adopt, we went from feeling so overwhelmed and depressed over infertility issues to so excited and everything just fell into place so quickly, like it was meant to be. Fate. If anything we feel we are doubly blessed to be able to adopt. If we do have a biological child, we will of course be thrilled as well, but either way I feel so priviliged, so blessed, so honored to have adoption as an option in my life. Sorry for the novel.

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Posted by LizD

We, like Susan had always had the plan of one and one also. I knew going in with PCOS it was going to be a bit difficult, but not impossible for me. When we started trying, we also started researching adoption, and various countries. Decided on China and really started doing a lot of reading. We did 2 IUI's, which failed. I was in the office for blood work for the third IUI, and while waiting was reading a book on China adoptions, I made the final decision. Got up, said to the receptionist, I can't wait, I have to go. Called DH and said, "why are we doing this when our hearts are in China". That was it and we never looked back. I honestly don't even have the desire to even try to get preggo. If we decide to have another baby, we will adopt again

Re: Is anyone here adopting in the absence of fertility issues?

Message edited 5/15/2006 10:48:05 PM.