Is being this terrified normal?

I wasnt sure where to post this, but I figured this was the best place. The past week or two I've noticed that I'm pretty terrified of becoming a mom. Almost like "omg...I'm not ready for this, I change my mind!!"

This weekend our nursery furniture came in and we set it up in the baby's room. As soon as it was all set up, I panicked. It became "real."

Then today a friend of mine who is in a really similar situation to me (her DH is in the army and deployed right before she was due. She gave birth without him and then he got to come home for 2 weeks after the baby was born) posted pics of her new baby. She looked so happy and so at ease -- like she new exactly what to do with the baby, she didnt seem overly exhausted in the pics, etc. Of course, I'm genuinely happy for her and her hubby. However, a huge part of me feels like that wont be me -- im going to be a mess, sleep deprived, not knowing what to do to stop the crying, and feeling like i cant handle it all. I literally feel like I dont know what I'm getting myself into and I'm terrified of having the baby blues and feeling like I "cant do it" or that we made a mistake.

I've never felt like this before leading up to this point. I'm 17 weeks, so I have plenty of time before baby is due. I also feel like, what if I dont fall in love with the baby immediately. I love him/her already, but I also know that the first few months are going to be really hard...and even harder because my hubby wont be around at all...so what if those few months are SO hard that it makes me feel like i dont want to do it??

Are these feelings normal?? I kinda feel like the concerns/worries I'm having are abnormal for expectant moms. Like, I should be overjoyed and excited...not freaking out and terrified. Thoughts?

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

It's totally normal, your life isn't going to be yours anymore. But don't worry, it's going to be better. Just relax, it will all come to you. And it sounds like you have friends who have been through this before who will be there to help and share their insight. It's gonna be great, hang in there!!

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

it's perfectly normal...just like having cold feet at your wedding, don't worry it will all be ok!

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

I'm almost 36wks and I really started freaking out this weekend with the same thoughts as you. My life is never going to be the same, how am I going to do this, how am I going to know what she needs...etc. I think it's normal, at least that what people keep telling me. I'm really trying not to think about it much and I'm trying to go with the take one day at a time attitude. I think once our little ones arrive we'll be fine. Good luck to you. I'm off to my growth sono in a little while to see my peanut again.

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

I think this is totally normal. But, I think that if you surround yourself with a good support system it will all come together.

I think most of it comes naturally and through trial and error. And just remember that your friend sent you pictures... not a live feed of what is actually going on. It will be tough but, you'll get through it.

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

its totally normal. i think like this every day. it makes me nuts..

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

It's completely normal. I think at some point many moms to be question if they are really ready. I know I do all the time.

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

Sounds normal to me. I have my freak out moments too!

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

Big hugs for everyone!

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

Every now and then I will be like holy $hit...a few months from now I will be responsible for a helpless human being's LIFE! I think it's normal.

Re: Is being this terrified normal?

It's normal to be scared. I hadn't changed a diaper since I was 16. I never gave a baby a bath. I had barely been around babies in the last 10+ years. I was worried I'd have no idea how to take care of my child.

Figuring out what to do hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought. I changed DS's diapers in the hospital. The nurses showed us how to give him a bath. Sometimes it's still a little difficult to know what certain cries mean, but it's trial and error. Looking back on it, I had no real reason to worry.

I'll be honest admit that the first few weeks are really difficult especially if you're BFing. You're sleep deprived, your hormones are crazy, etc. If you have a good support system in place, you'll be ok though. Good luck.