Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

I leave Juliette and Kristopher almost every other weekend on a Friday or Saturday night with my inlaws so DH and I can spend time alone. We have totally opposite schedules, and there are days we don't even see each other. He gets to see the kids at my mom's every day, and has Kristopher for a few hours every morning. At this age, Juliette sometimes asks if she could sleepover Oma's house even if we are not going out. My sister in law and her boyfriend, my in-laws and my husbands aunt all live in a three family house. She likes getting "spoiled" while she is there.

I do not do it every weekend. I do not consider myself a bad parent either because my husband and I try to keep our marriage happy. Our children mean more to us than anything, but we need that time alone.

Also, it's nice that the children have such a close relationship with their relatives.

Message edited 7/5/2008 4:49:31 PM.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Posted by antoinette

One couple has a son Bryans age, he goes to daycare full time like Bryan and they leave him overnight EVERY weekend at his grandparents. Another couple that we are friends with had a baby 4 weeks ago and already has left him overnight at his grandma 2X Basically Dh and I are now looked down on as no fun becuase we actually enjoy spending time with our child on the weekend instead of getting drunk Im in the market for some new friends.

Message edited 7/5/2008 6:00:34 PM.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Posted by Tine73

Posted by antoinette

One couple has a son Bryans age, he goes to daycare full time like Bryan and they leave him overnight EVERY weekend at his grandparents. Another couple that we are friends with had a baby 4 weeks ago and already has left him overnight at his grandma 2X Basically Dh and I are now looked down on as no fun becuase we actually enjoy spending time with our child on the weekend instead of getting drunk Im in the market for some new friends.

Everyone feels different about this situation, but I don't agree with your comments.

You must think we are horrible parents. When my DD was 3 weeks old, my parents watched her overnight and have countless times since then. She is now 8 months old and we just got back from a 4 night vacation without her. She also goes to daycare full time. We love DD so much but we also understand on how to balance our lives and make time for each other. Right now, it works for us. As she gets older and we have another baby, it probably won't work as much. At let me clarify, that a night out for us isn't going out and getting drunk. It's going out to a nice dinner and home by 11pm.

So while you may think it's crazy for us to do this, I think it's a great balance.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

We never left DS with anyone. Reason #1 we have NOBODY to take care of him. Reason #2 I feel he is still too young at 1 year old and I know DS likes his little bedtime routine.

Every child and parent is different. I don't see the issue if all parties are happy and it works for them.

So if the parents love having 1 night off every weekend, the kid is fine and the grandparents love it, no issue.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

My son is four and has slept at his cousin's house 4x...one was when my dd was born. He loves them so much or I would never consider it.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Until the black out a few weeks ago..never...Then DH and I went away on a business trip for 4 nights! It was insane but I am glad that I did it!

However, I don't see us doing it again any time soon!

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

We don't, basically because we have no grandparents. If my parents were still alive, I definitely would leave DS there occasionally if they were up for it. DH and I have only gone out twice alone together since we had the baby and I would love to be able to do that more often.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

DD is 22 months and she stayed at my SIL with my mother one night. It was when she was really colicky (2.5 months old) and I just needed a night of rest. My SIL & mom told me that they would tag team through the night. Since then, we haven't spent a night away from DD. I don't have any desire to spend the night away from DD. Although we probably will one night soon as it will be our 10 year wedding anniversary. We want to do something special.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

WE've never done an overnight. My MIL would love too, but neither DH nor I think it's a good idea. And they live 10 minutes away so I don't see the need for it.

I don't like leaving her iwth my IL's or my parents too much on the weekends, even though it's b/c I have to go to work.

I don't ever want to just dump my kid and go.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

We have left Miranda overnight (at home with my mom staying over our house) twice in almost 3 years. Even when I was home more I had no desire to leave her often and I still don't. I could imagine leaving a baby a few weeks old overnight but maybe that's just me.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

i think it is a different story when we're talking about leaving your children with others EVERY weekend so that you can go out and get wasted versus the occasional weekend when you'd like to go out with your DH or friends and whatnot whether to get wasted or just have a nice night together home or away.

Honestly, I probably would think it was strange if EVERY SINGLE weekend someone left their children with someone else for the express purpose of partying all day and night long.

However, DS sleeps at my MIL's every Thursday night (because she watches him Thurs and Fri while we're at work). This past weekend he was there all weekend because my best friend got married out of town. I left him once with her to go to Jamaica for 5 days. And a handful of times just because she wanted to take him. Obviously I see nothing wrong with it. He loves it there. Gets so much attention for my MIL and his 2 aunts. Has a million toys.

I don't think it makes me a bad parent at all. However, to the original poster I think it is sad that your "friends" would criticize your for not wanting to leave your children. That's absurd!

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

When Lily was a few weeks old, and had her days and nights mixed up, and my husband was working so I was the only one home with her allllll day and alllll night....she spent her first night at my parent's house. She went there during the day so I could get some rest. Then she stayed over night so I could sleep through the night. And I picked her up late the next afternoon. It was amazing.

Since then, she's stayed overnight at each of our parent's houses a handful of times...it doesn't happen often, but it does happen. I don't think there's anything wrong with it - it gives us time to ourselves - and it makes the grandparents happy!

Everyone's situation is different though.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

DD is 7 months and we have never left her overnight. We have left her home with SIL 3-4 times for @ 5 hours, and once a week she is w/ grandma (first one, then the other) from 9AM-10PM.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Posted by antoinette

Posted by Tine73

Posted by antoinette



Basically in my circle of friends even though they have children they specifically bring their children to their grandparents in order to get drunk-its known that this is what they do and Im just in a point in my life where Im over that yet they make it seem as if we are the minority and that every couple does this when they have children- I can see by the responses on this post that we are not alone.

I think it's time to find a new circle of friends since it seems that you really resent their choices.

I don't leave my kids with anyone because I just don't go out

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

DD has slept at my parents several times and my MIL's once. We only got married when she was almost 1 so in preparation for our honeymoon (which was only 4 nights in Montauk) she did a few practice runs. Then at my MIL's for the bachelor/bachelorette parties. Now, she sleeps at my moms once in awhile because my mom just adores having her there. Not that I wouldn't go out, but I usually end up staying home and cleaning, lol.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

DS is only 2 months, and we have done it once, when he was 5 weeks. DH and I went out for dinner and a show in the city. Joey stayed with my parents. I was nervous, but he did fine, and my mother LOVED having him there. Starting soon, we may start having him stay with my parents every other Saturday night. Not that we are "dumping" him, we are not going to go out and drink. But we are going to have a nice "date" night, maybe dinner and a movie and just relax. I personally don't see anything wrong with it though. It will only be 2 nights a month at most, and I think it will be good for everyone. DH and I will be able to get some alone time, my parents will get quality time with their grandchild, and Joey will get used to sleeping out.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

I cant lie but say that when i read this i was a little taken back but then I let it go and I do not think you can say there is a right or wrong. I am very lucky to say my parents live down stairs. My mother watches Cadi a lot because she is in her own room. I have always had friends that had nannys all day and night and i do not think they were brought up any different. My mother was home alll the time with me and never left me but I can not say that we are the same. we go away a lot as a couple and I do not think there is anything wrong with that.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

I have never left my son (who is 7 and disabled) with anyone overnight ... ever. To be honest, I don't think anyone would even want to watch him overnight even if I asked. My daughter, who is 5 now, has just recently spent a night or two at Grandma and Papa's house. She loves it and they spoil her rotten. I don't think I would have been comfortable doing it at a younger age, but she's fine now.

It's a personal decision and depends on how comfortable you are as a parent leaving your child with someone else. I have siblings that leave their children with their inlaws for weeks while they go on cruises, etc. Personally it's not for me, but to each their own.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Ava is almost 4, and we have left her for vacations, and she has had sleep-overs at my parents.

Our longest trip was 5 days, a few for 2 days.

She has a life threatening food allergy, and I would only be 100% comfortable leaving her with my parents.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

DH and I will leave Roman maybe once a month overnight at Grandma's. He's at an age where they really enjoy spending quality time and doing things together. We usually do it when we have an engagement to go to but as far as just dumping him off to go out drinking, doesn't happen. That hasn't been my prority in like maybe 10 years.

Sound like you guys are the more responsible ones.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Our ds is 7.5 months and we just returned from 2 nights out east while he stayed with his grandparents. The first night was rough (for us, ds had a ball) but then we relaxed and had a great time. This was our first time away from each other and while I'm not sure when we'll do it again, I don't judge others for wanting time alone with their spouse.

Re: is is just me? how often do you leave your child on the weekends

Message edited 7/7/2008 5:05:24 AM.