Is it just me?

Or is anyone else not 100% completely comfortable on the Pregnancy board? I just can't seem to get over there, introduce myself, etc. I lurk all the time (if you can call it that because I am pregnant) and a couple of times I wanted to reply to a thread but then I deleted it!

I just can't bear some of the rhetorical questions or the replies that other ladies offer. Maybe because it took me years to get pregnant and I'm not going to have a bologna sandwich, not once, not ever, even if you tell me that you did in moderation and your LO is perfect. You're not me.

It's not about the "dos and don'ts" in my pregnancy! Heck, that'd be simple. I'd like to have that carefree attitude. I'm trying to. My experience with RPL has unfortunately taught me that its out of my hands and maybe that's what bothers me , the fear, the unknown.Maybe because I know too well, that fear of having it all taken away? Sometimes I feel like it's a conversation I'd have with my SIL which always ends with, you just can't possibly understand or even compare your pregnancy with mine. IDK. Just a vent I guess.

Message edited 5/7/2012 10:33:03 PM.

Re: Is it just me?

well its way to early for me to post over there anyway but yeah, i totally hear you!

no burning desire for feta hot dogs cold cuts is ever going to have me risk all that i went through to get here, if im able to stay!

Re: Is it just me?

I didn't post there until I heard the hb at 7 weeks.

I still love posting here though

Re: Is it just me?

It took me awhile to feel comfortable over there, but I started to after the first trimester. I think that it was a big step for me when I started to be able to view my pregnancy like everyone else's, despite everything that I had been through. I think that knowing my own history and when my losses were, I reached a point where I felt like my specific fertility issues were most likely not going to pose a problem.

There are definitely some posts that irritate me because of everything that I've been through, but overall the board has been a great support.

I think we are lucky that THIS board exists now. It started right around when I was getting comfortable with the PG board, and it was slow to start, but I'm glad that there are so many ladies on here now.

ETA: I have had cocktail hot dogs, the occasional cold cuts, etc, DESPITE everything I've been through. My way of thinking is that those things are NOT going to cause problems for my baby. If anything my genetics and other issues would!

Message edited 5/7/2012 7:00:43 PM.

Re: Is it just me?

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I almost want to be as carefree and as open minded, but being through what we have been through, it is impossible.

My therapist described it best- they're the norm and we are a microcosm, which is why we're so on hyperalert about everything. We have been comfy in our own bonds of friendship, that it's all that we know. It's not bad, per se. It's a tight knit group who is prepared for anything, and cautious about everything.

I look at other forums and it's a lot of the same...... wide open space and euphoric pregnant ladies. I'd rather be gray-haired and nitrate free instead of blissfully open....

Re: Is it just me?

i sort of felt the opposite on the "dos and dont dos." i felt that after what i went through to get pregnant, eating a sandwich wasn't going to be the thing that took it from me..immune and thrombo maybe, but a sandwich.. that was such a low risk that i didn't really think twice about it. i didn't eat cold cuts every day or anything (actually I hated meat so it was easy not to lol), but i believe anything in moderation is fine. i did completely cut out alcohol, nearly all caffeine, and most raw foods like rare steak and sushi. but its really all about your comfort level.

i sort of hate on the pregnancy board when someone who got pregnant the first month TTC says something like "im freaking out i took a quarter of a bite of american cheese, will my baby be ok? i feel so guilty im a horrible person." those posts just made me literally not that it matters how long it took, but people who are over-worriers with no good reason for it just irk me (hope i dont get flamed for that). but thats just my personality, im very laid back.

(PS - i know american cheese is pasteurized, im using the example for effect ;) ).

anyway i sometimes feel i should never share this advice with anyone, well, because even though my munchkin is awesome now, most of you know how my pregnancy ended and it was def not pretty. actually come to think of it, the issues that i had during and at the end of my pregnancy were probably more rare than the chance of listeria from meat or anything like that. but i stand by it, and i will continue to do things in moderation as I feel comfortable with it.

Message edited 5/7/2012 9:38:07 PM.

Re: Is it just me?

Really its not about a sandwich. I'm just venting. LiRascal, you're right. I guess 6 IVFs and just as many losses, makes me the minority. But that minority brings about a different perspective, a different mentality I feel. Believe me, if my most difficult decision (past or present) was whether or not to have cold cuts maybe I wouldn't have weekly Drs. appointments! Thanks jax for your thoughts too. Knowing that youre provided with support helps me too. I'm almost half way and truly didn't know that I'd still have these feelings despite some great appts and sonos.
Thanks

Re: Is it just me?

I think I started posting there around 7.5 weeks when I went to the er. I would have posted here but this board is a bit slow. Then I started posting more over there more often. And a lot of IF girls are on there now.

I do fet annoyed with the "I accidentally rolled over onto my husband while he was sleeping and got knocked up" posts but they aren't thar common.

I didn't cut out caffeine at first. But then I stopped liking coffee. I do have unsweetened iced tea when I go out though. And I eat splenda but much less than I used to. My dr said a cup of coffee with splenda is fine. I follow the everything in moderation rule. I haven't had cold cute but have had 2 hot dogs since I've been pregnant.

Re: Is it just me?

Penny the crasher....

Umm you said the words "have faith" in the same sentence nonetheless together! Amazing huh!



And really I guess my thoughts and venting is coming across differently than I had intended. Or maybe I can't quite express well how I feel. But, I'm not so much bothered by the dos and donts as I am I guess irritanted as Jax put it. If I want to have a freakin cup of coffee to relieve an on going migraine, then I will! I was just using the sandwich thing as an example because its a topic thats often spoken of.

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I totally know how you feel. I don't think I ever posted on the pregnancy board, and to be honest I still can't believe I had a baby and was pregnant. Even during my c-section I had to watch to make sure he was coming out of me. Was I really pregnant?? I just couldn't really relate to that board since I had such a tough time getting pregnant. I have to admit I drank, ate cold cuts not heated, I ate cheese and probably did everything you were not suppose to do during my pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder if that was the reason my son was in the NICU but that lasts less then a second and I realize that if I could survive IVF then I could survive anything. I could never relax enough to enjoy being pregnant. I was always nervous and just waiting for something bad to happen. I didn't care about furniture, or registering I just wanted to know that everything would be ok when I had my baby. I hear ya KMCGK I can relate to you!

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totally didnt mean to come off like you cant vent! vent away!! just sharing another perspective. different perspective, yet still annoyed at the pregnancy board!! although i am also not naive enough to think that i might feel differently if i had gone through what you went through.

and Caren..i totally 100% know how you feel about thinking about the NICU.. my daughter will be one in a week and i still cant believe she is here and she is mine and she was in me.

Message edited 5/7/2012 10:48:09 PM.

Re: Is it just me?

i def hear what u r saying!

even when i post i am tempted to write the words crashing

but i will post,even if i feel odd doing it bc i rad that board for years..i deserve to post on it..you deserve to post on it,we all deserve to post on it

i want to enjoy every single aspect of this pregnancy

but it is hard bc i cannot title my post..feel like shit,throwing up all day and happy as can be bc it makes me feel liek this one will stick

and i def have to control myself bc still get the urge to post the comment check out the IF board..might change a thought or 2 when u think the worst thing in the world is not being able to have a cinco de mayo drink

Re: Is it just me?

Posted by gina409


and i def have to control myself bc still get the urge to post the comment check out the IF board..might change a thought or 2 when u think the worst thing in the world is not being able to have a cinco de mayo drink

Re: Is it just me?

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Re: Is it just me?

Seriously drink wine. Lots of it, for us.

I always promised myself I wouldn't make myself nuts during my pregnancy, and I haven't. I eat as healthy as I usually do and I watch certain things (DH is more up my butt than anything).

I just think that when you're in that fishbowl, that's all you know. It isn't a bad thing- it's just the IF world and peoples' horror stories and all of the emotions are our reality. It makes us stronger, wiser, and more prepared.

I cracked a tooth last night and I went to the dentist this morning- I had a filling with no novacaine or X-rays. Hurt like hell but I wasn't taking chances. I can't believe I found my big girl panties!

Re: Is it just me?

Posted by

I cracked a tooth last night and I went to the dentist this morning- I had a filling with no novacaine or X-rays. Hurt like hell but I wasn't taking chances. I can't believe I found my big girl panties!

Re: Is it just me?

Posted by cateyemm

Posted by gina409


and i def have to control myself bc still get the urge to post the comment check out the IF board..might change a thought or 2 when u think the worst thing in the world is not being able to have a cinco de mayo drink

Re: Is it just me?

I get what you mean. It's not about the sandwich, per se, just the benign and too casual approach some people have. That and questions/statements about things we might see as being very trivial in the big picture. I did post there when I was pregnant, felt like I "earned" it, but I was infrequent and wish this board had been around then!!
Hope you're all feeling good!!