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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Is this a new playdate thing?
My youngest child is in kindergarten. The last few times he has had playdates, when I tell you they TRASHED my playroom, I am not even joking. My older 2 never did anything like that with their friends. These kids take out every toy and leave it everywhere. Since they are in kindergarten, many times the mom stays and then they just pick up their coat, say thanks and leave without so much as a glance in the play area.
Any time I have been at a playdate, I always check to make sure my kids have cleaned up after themselves. I would never let my kids leave a mess.
Now, the last 2 or 3 playdates I was at, when I went to go check to ensure my son didn't trash the place, the moms were like "no, no. Absolutely not. I will clean up. Thanks for coming." and sent me on my merry way.
Is this a thing?  I mentally scratched off those kids from the playdate list because I couldn't believe their moms would leave my house trashed like that but then when they reciprocated, they didn't want me cleaning up. It was so awkward to me! I don't like leaving a mess for someone else to clean up but am I the weird one? Is it supposed to be I mess up your house and now you mess up mine? Is this new wave parenting? IDK that's why I am asking here.
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Posted 4/28/22 11:21 AM  |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
I always found it to be a mixed bag with the moms and the kids. My son was the type of kid to take out one toy and play with it for hours. He never trashed anyone's house. But we had kids come over and take out markers and draw on the rugs. I typically made my son clean up, I would say most parents did not make their kids help clean up. My son is 14 now so this was 10 years ago.
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| Posted 4/28/22 11:37 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
I don't think it's so much a new thing as you just got unlucky with the type of kids/parents.
I would never let my DD trash another person's house and then just leave.
But I guess other people would
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| Posted 4/28/22 11:40 AM |
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AliceCullen
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1497 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
I can see myself doing this because I'm just done with the playdate and want the people out of my house.
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| Posted 4/28/22 12:01 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by AliceCullen
I can see myself doing this because I'm just done with the playdate and want the people out of my house.
 Good point!
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| Posted 4/28/22 12:06 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by lululu
I always found it to be a mixed bag with the moms and the kids. My son was the type of kid to take out one toy and play with it for hours. He never trashed anyone's house. But we had kids come over and take out markers and draw on the rugs. I typically made my son clean up, I would say most parents did not make their kids help clean up. My son is 14 now so this was 10 years ago.
OMG seriously? I can’t believe kids go to someone else’s home and do that. I would be absolutely mortified.
My kids know if any of their friends come over and act like beasts, they are typically not asked to come over ever again.
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| Posted 4/28/22 2:31 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
yikes!!
parents can be such jerks... and they teach their children to be little jerks.
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| Posted 4/28/22 3:13 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by AliceCullen
I can see myself doing this because I'm just done with the playdate and want the people out of my house.
This was my thought exactly. I wouldn't want the person to stay longer to clean with me. Just go. LOL. I would tell them its ok if they offered, but if they didn't I wouldn't care. No need to extend the agony any longer, Buh-bye.
Message edited 4/28/2022 3:19:57 PM.
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| Posted 4/28/22 3:19 PM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Is this a new playdate thing?
I try to tell mine to pick up after themselves after playing in someones house but i know some parents are OCD and would rather clean up the mess themselves. I do offer but if they say they got, it means they got it.
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| Posted 4/28/22 7:11 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by MrsWoods
I try to tell mine to pick up after themselves after playing in someones house but i know some parents are OCD and would rather clean up the mess themselves. I do offer but if they say they got, it means they got it.
I am not OCD but sometimes I think having little kids try to put things away makes it worse. I remember just wanting them to leave so I could put everything back where it belonged instead of having everything get messed up.
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| Posted 4/29/22 8:33 AM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by lululu
Posted by MrsWoods
I try to tell mine to pick up after themselves after playing in someones house but i know some parents are OCD and would rather clean up the mess themselves. I do offer but if they say they got, it means they got it.
I am not OCD but sometimes I think having little kids try to put things away makes it worse. I remember just wanting them to leave so I could put everything back where it belonged instead of having everything get messed up.
even though it's easier for you, and I can understand that. It teaches kids they can make a mess and not have to clean up. It allows for the behavior OP is talking about
adding, Lulu my comments is not directed at you only, even though I used you comment to tag onto.
Message edited 4/29/2022 9:54:59 AM.
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| Posted 4/29/22 8:40 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by lululu
Posted by MrsWoods
I try to tell mine to pick up after themselves after playing in someones house but i know some parents are OCD and would rather clean up the mess themselves. I do offer but if they say they got, it means they got it.
I am not OCD but sometimes I think having little kids try to put things away makes it worse. I remember just wanting them to leave so I could put everything back where it belonged instead of having everything get messed up.
Yes! My friend always insisted on cleaning up (her kids frequently destroyed my playroom) but then I could never find anything lol.
I always made my kids clean up with me afterwards. Most playdates we went on - the people said they would clean up after we left as well.
Message edited 4/29/2022 9:21:31 AM.
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| Posted 4/29/22 9:19 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by lululu
Posted by MrsWoods
I try to tell mine to pick up after themselves after playing in someones house but i know some parents are OCD and would rather clean up the mess themselves. I do offer but if they say they got, it means they got it.
I am not OCD but sometimes I think having little kids try to put things away makes it worse. I remember just wanting them to leave so I could put everything back where it belonged instead of having everything get messed up.
ITA. I start to twitch when someone other than me or DD starts cleaning the playroom. Also, my DD knows that having friends over comes with the responsibility of cleaning up after they leave.
I will always offer to help clean before we leave someone else’s house but if the parent says no I won’t push it because I understand how annoying it can be.
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| Posted 4/29/22 9:27 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by hmm
Posted by lululu
Posted by MrsWoods
I try to tell mine to pick up after themselves after playing in someones house but i know some parents are OCD and would rather clean up the mess themselves. I do offer but if they say they got, it means they got it.
I am not OCD but sometimes I think having little kids try to put things away makes it worse. I remember just wanting them to leave so I could put everything back where it belonged instead of having everything get messed up.
even though it's easier for you, and I can understand that. It teaches kids they can make a mess and not have to clean up. It allows for the behavior OP is talking about
adding, Lulu my comments is not directed at you only, even though I used you comment to tag onto.
Yes but to be honest, it's not my responsibilty to teach other people's children to clean up. They should actually be teaching them not to take out 500 toys at one time. So if you came to my house and your kid took out 5 toys without putting any of them back then I think it's safe to assume they aren't teaching them that they have to clean up. When my kids took out toys they were taught one at a time and then put it away.
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| Posted 4/29/22 10:30 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Is this a new playdate thing?
Kids make messes
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| Posted 4/29/22 12:04 PM |
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BTMOM
LIF Infant
Member since 4/22 54 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by AliceCullen
I can see myself doing this because I'm just done with the playdate and want the people out of my house.
Yes thats how I feel.
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| Posted 4/29/22 12:28 PM |
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by Mrs213
Kids make messes
Yup and I was never that person who wanted my house to be THE.HOUSE people always hang out at.
Message edited 4/29/2022 12:40:49 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/22 12:40 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Mrs213
Kids make messes
Yup and I was never that person who wanted my house to be THE.HOUSE people always hang out at.
I never wanted to be that house either but somehow I am THAT HOUSE. Sometimes I love it because my mom was always in a bad mood when I was growing up and it was almost embarrassing to have people over. Also my dad worked nights and slept during the day so we couldn't make any noise. So now when I have a house full of people every other day it does make me somewhat happy but it's exhausting and a lot of work.
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| Posted 4/29/22 12:53 PM |
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by lululu
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Mrs213
Kids make messes
Yup and I was never that person who wanted my house to be THE.HOUSE people always hang out at.
I never wanted to be that house either but somehow I am THAT HOUSE. Sometimes I love it because my mom was always in a bad mood when I was growing up and it was almost embarrassing to have people over. Also my dad worked nights and slept during the day so we couldn't make any noise. So now when I have a house full of people every other day it does make me somewhat happy but it's exhausting and a lot of work.
I do love to have people over and parties, but the kid thing where I have to feed everyone and it is loud, expensive and chaotic was never for me
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| Posted 4/29/22 2:34 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Mrs213
Kids make messes
Yup and I was never that person who wanted my house to be THE.HOUSE people always hang out at.
Oh and we are THAT HOUSE. My house is like a revolving door. I created that situation so I have nobody to blame but myself and once the summer gets here and my pool is open it's really like a ******** free for all but at least that's outside.
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| Posted 4/29/22 3:49 PM |
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Mrs213
Kids make messes
Yup and I was never that person who wanted my house to be THE.HOUSE people always hang out at.
Oh and we are THAT HOUSE. My house is like a revolving door. I created that situation so I have nobody to blame but myself and once the summer gets here and my pool is open it's really like a ******** free for all but at least that's outside.
Ugghhh yeah, at least they can be outside.
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| Posted 4/29/22 4:37 PM |
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MyBabyG
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 793 total posts
Name:
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Is this a new playdate thing?
My DD is 10 and anytime she has friends over they (my DD and her fiends) all clean up before they leave. And when she is at other peoples houses , she helps clean up before I pick her up.
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| Posted 4/29/22 4:40 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a new playdate thing?
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Mrs213
Kids make messes
Yup and I was never that person who wanted my house to be THE.HOUSE people always hang out at.
Oh and we are THAT HOUSE. My house is like a revolving door. I created that situation so I have nobody to blame but myself and once the summer gets here and my pool is open it's really like a ******** free for all but at least that's outside.
We have a pool too so that's part of our problem as well, even though everyone belongs to country clubs with pools. I go away for most of the summer now. I think part of it is to get away from all of it.
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| Posted 4/29/22 5:37 PM |
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