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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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is this nervy or is it just me- updated on bottom
We have a tenant living downstairs in our house, who is also one of DH's good friends. He's been here for almost a year and things actually work really well. It's nice not to have to worry about strangers in the house and we help each other out when we can.
Rob (our tenant) already has a ferrit. She's a little stinky, but it's not so bad and doesn't bother us because it's not like he lets her run around. So he calls DH at work today and out of the blue tells him he's thinking about getting a dog. And not even something small, a shephard/lab mix.
Ummmm, I don't think so. DH and I already have a dog, an 8 year old husky, and I'm expecting a baby in 5 weeks. My poor dog is going to have enough of a hard time adjusting to a baby, I refuse to put her through the torture of having to adjust to a new puppy too. Not to mention, my dog is still really playful and it will be torture for her if there's another dog in the house that she can't get to.
I just feel like it's nervy for him to even ask. He knows that we wouldn't have let someone move in with a dog, and has never even mentioned wanting one until now. His girlfriend is HIGHLY allergic to dogs. And I just don't feel he's even responsible enough to have a puppy. I can see that dog chewing up my whole apartment and peeing all over the place.
Message edited 9/13/2006 5:21:40 PM.
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Posted 9/13/06 11:33 AM  |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
When I lived in an apartment in someone's house (a legal basemant) I was NOT allowed to have pets. And I loved living there, the arrangement wa great, the owner was wonderful and so was the landlord. But when I got "kitty fever" the first thing I did was call the owner and ask if it was OK and then I ran it by the landlord (who lived in the house and was a tenant but in charge) to make sure it was OK with them as well.
I think it's HUGELY nervy of him to say that. He definitely needs to ask. And the answer should be NO. Especially such a hyper breed, they need so much room to play/outdoor space.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:39 AM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
It's always really difficult maintaining a business relationship with a friend. Do you have a lease with him? If not, you should defiinitely make one up and you should inventory what's yours in the house and record what kind of shape it's in.
In the absence of a lease, you can tell him that he can't have a dog on the basis that it may ruin the apartment, but you really don't have a right to comment to him on whether or not you think he's responsible enough to handle a pet. Also, you should be prepared that he may leave if he really wants one.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:40 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
That's very nervy IMO. It sounds like he's almost too comfortable living there. Dh should tell him that you both don't feel comfortable with that.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:40 AM |
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ssbride05
:-)
Member since 5/05 2654 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Posted by SuzyQ
That's very nervy IMO. It sounds like he's almost too comfortable living there. Dh should tell him that you both don't feel comfortable with that.
I agree.. I think it is nervy of him and maybe explain it will just be too hard of an adjustment on everyone, and that you wouldn't have allowed someone to ahve pets living there...
good luck!
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:43 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Hmmm, I think it would have been nervy for him not to ask. I think that if he gets it anyway then that is nervy. Maybe he thinks that you'd be OK with another dog?
I agree that b/c he is DH friends maybe he has this feeling of "for ME they'd do it.." I think it is better off that he asked though, as I know too many people who just "assumed" it was OK.
Message edited 9/13/2006 11:46:07 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:45 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Posted by usuk2004
In the absence of a lease, you can tell him that he can't have a dog on the basis that it may ruin the apartment, but you really don't have a right to comment to him on whether or not you think he's responsible enough to handle a pet. Also, you should be prepared that he may leave if he really wants one.
I wouldn't tell him that I don't think he's responsible, it's just that he's kind of flaky. Like I said, he never mentioned wanting a dog ever before. He's just impulsive about things and doesn't really think them through. And to be honest, he's not going anywhere anytime soon- regardless of the dog thing. He's got it good here and he also gets a good deal on rent.
he once dog sat for a friend and he saw how nuts it made my dog and how annoyed I was that he even had a dog for the weekend. That's why I can't understand why he would even think we would consider letting him have a dog in the house.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:46 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
I think it would be nervy if he just got the dog without asking but it doesn't hurt to ask.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:48 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Posted by Christine
I think it would be nervy if he just got the dog without asking but it doesn't hurt to ask.
I told my DH that if Rob comes home with a dog thinking I will love the dog so much that I will allow it, he's crazy. i wouldn't let anyone have a dog, or even a cat, downstairs in regular circumstances. But that fact that I'm about to pop a baby out makes it completely and totally out of the question. There's more than enough going on in this house already.
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| Posted 9/13/06 11:50 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
I don't think it's nervy...maybe just not well thought out? Nervy would be him just bringing the dog home...
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| Posted 9/13/06 12:23 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
wow. nervy, to say the least!
it sounds like he's taking advantage of the fact that he is your friend by not even ASKING first.
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| Posted 9/13/06 1:02 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Well, I think it's good that he asked before he did it. It would have been worse if he just went out an bought one.
Just tell him that the ferrit is one thing, but that you do not want a dog down there. That's all. You don't even need to explain yourself.
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| Posted 9/13/06 1:18 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
It would annoy me.
Did your DH tell him no to the dog?
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| Posted 9/13/06 1:23 PM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Posted by Colleen9304
I don't think it's nervy...maybe just not well thought out? Nervy would be him just bringing the dog home...
i agree. i would just reiterate the "no dog" rule for tenants. as much as you would like to make an exception for him, you really want to keep the space dog free.
Message edited 9/13/2006 1:30:16 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/06 1:30 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Did he actually ask if it was okay to get a dog, or did he just casually state that he's considering getting a dog without even thinking he had to ask?
If it's the latter, then yes, a little nervy. Like he thinks he doesn't even have to ask...
But if he did outright ask, then no, I don't think it's nervy because there's nothing wrong with asking.
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| Posted 9/13/06 1:30 PM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
I don't know if its nervy or not. On one hand since you have dog he might assume it would be ok so I don't think its that's far fetched to ask. Unless you said when he moved in "no dogs", then in that case it is nervy of him to ask knowing you already said no dogs.
Message edited 9/13/2006 1:46:15 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/06 1:44 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me
Posted by MrsBlueSash
Unless you said when he moved in "no dogs", then in that case it is nervy of him to ask knowing you already said no dogs.
He knew from the get-go that we didn't want anyone with pets at all- we made an exception for his ferrit. My dog can not handle another dog being in the house, it would literally drive her to a break down.
Anyway, I talked to our tenant and told him that it was a no go. He said that even though he wants the dog, I made the decision easier for him by saying no. He knows that having a dog is a big responsibilty and he was on the fence on whether he could commit to that anyway. He's the kind of guy who likes to pick up and just go, and you can't do that with a dog.
It's not like I'm going to be walking my husky and his shephard while carrying my newborn baby. 
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| Posted 9/13/06 5:21 PM |
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Shroggie
Don't Worry...Be Happy
Member since 5/06 6261 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me- updated on bottom
It would be nervy of him not to ask, IMO.
Hopefully he will respect your wishes, and not get the dog.
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| Posted 9/13/06 5:25 PM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: is this nervy or is it just me- updated on bottom
You definitely did the right thing by being upfront, just as he was. Sounds like he took it well too and all will be ok! Now onto more important things like your impending new arrival! 
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| Posted 9/13/06 5:37 PM |
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