LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Is This Normal

Posted By Message

ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up

Member since 7/07

4427 total posts

Name:
Jeri

Is This Normal

I just wrote this whole thing explaining my problem and when I went to post it said I wasn't logged in... but I was. Let me try again...

In the last 6 years I have lost lots of people, I think it's like 8. Three of them I was particularly close to. One died July 10, 2001 when he was hit by a drunk driver. Another died a year and 20 days after him (5 years ago today) when he crashed his motocycle, and my other friend fell asleep driving back to college on April 7, 2005.

I felt like I handled it well when each one happened. But as time is going on I cry more and more and I have breakdowns from it. Now I'm starting to think that I never really handled it in the first place. Also with the birth of my daughter 8 months ago and my wedding 3 months away it's been getting worse. It makes me so sad knowing that my friends should be getting married and having babies too and they aren't here. They aren't here to see my daughter or watch me get married like I always thought they'd be.

I don't talk to my friends about this because they were friends with them too and I don't want to upset them if they've learned to move on. Does anyone else have this problem? I thought it was supposed to get easier as time went on.

Posted 7/30/07 2:48 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

anjerandunder
Positive thoughts worked!!!

Member since 6/06

1909 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Is This Normal

i'm starting to think whoever came up with the "it gets easier as time goes on" motto never actually lost someone they cared about. its all some kind of psychobabble crap because it hasn't gotten any easier for me. just take it day by day and know when something good is happening to you you'll probably feel a tinge of sadness too. we just have to learn to deal with it i think. live your life and live it a little more for them too.Chat Icon

Posted 7/31/07 9:50 PM
 

when
Maybe this time?

Member since 7/07

1761 total posts

Name:

Re: Is This Normal

I agree with the poster above that whoever made up that motto probably never really lost someone they loved.

I lost my Mom 3 years ago, and on some days the pain is stronger than the day she died.
I miss her SO MUCH.

Since she died I've gotten a new job, gotten engaged and married, bought a house.....all the joy of which is diminished b/c she is not here to share it.
I enjoy my life......but there is always something missing. THere always will be. Its sad, but this is how it is and I must cope.

I think that when joyous events are happening, it is hardest b/c your loved ones' absence(s) are that much more noticable b/c they are not there to share with you....

So yes....what you're feeling is normal.

Posted 8/31/07 12:03 AM
 

Takingthelongway
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/07

739 total posts

Name:

Re: Is This Normal

Hey. I can definately relate to what you're going through. A good friend of FH and I committed suicide a little over a month ago. Just when it gets a little easier, something comes up and puts you back in that sad place again(he was supposed to be getting married today, but instead of being at his wedding, I'm here in front of the computerChat Icon ). Really, what gets me through it is just telling myself that I HAVE to get through it, what's the alternative? I know it sounds cliche, but these people that we love and love us would not want us to be in that sad place. The priest at Jimmy's funeral also said to never speak about him in the past tense (i.e., I loved him) because love is the only thing that can still exsist in death. I hope this makes some sense to you, and if nothing else, just know that you are not alone in your feelingsChat Icon

Posted 8/31/07 11:19 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
Is it normal for DC to change their bedtime routines on their own? PLS read btrflygrl 3/27/07 3 Parenting
? regarding a normal temp and ? regarding chest x-rays JRG71 3/9/07 4 Parenting
Is this normal? What did you feel like in the beg. of the second trimester? itsbabytime 3/4/07 1 Pregnancy
Fever Temp after Shots? What's normal and what's not? LuvMy2Girls 11/20/06 2 Parenting
I am almost 7 weeks pregnant, and yet, I don't feel anything at all! Is this normal? BigB 9/4/06 12 Pregnancy
Is it normal for my son to lose a little hair on the top of his head? bean 4/13/06 3 Parenting
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 383161 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows