Joining the WW thread, but wanted to post this first...LONG

I just read through the entire WW thread and you ladies are all such inspirations!! Can I join you? I do WW online and weight myself at home. I bought a WW scale.

I want to share my story because I think I need to own it. I'm 5' 5 1/2". My married weight (last year) was 120. For 2 months leading up to our wedding, because of our crazy schedules, DH and I had zone chefs delivered to our house every day. It was great, but there was absolutely no thinking involved. Just eat what they give you and that's that. What messed me up even more, was that DH and I would get the same exact things delivered but his were like 800 calories more than mine. It was all in the preparation, but there was no way to tell what they did differently. It wasn't even like the portions were that different.

Once we stopped, about a month after our wedding, I put on about 5 pounds. I joined WW at the end of last year at about 125. It's been a few months and now I am at 127. But on Monday morning I was 131 (after the superbowl - so I am guessing salt?)

The goal that WW set for me is 119. So far, I just see the weight creeping on ounce by ounce and it's starting to take a major toll on me emotionally. Throughout high school I was like 145/150 pounds, then started working out in my 20's and got really into it and went down to 117. Now I seem to not be able to control the ounces creeping back on and I feel like I am not in control. If I was gaining without watching that would be one thing, but I am so on top of it all the time and I seem to be doing something wrong.

I am 31 now. I work out 5-6 days a week with one day of weight lifting. I will get on the treadmill for an hour and a half and do about 9 miles once a week.

I know that I didn't eat great over the holidays and then the giants playoff run really did me in with all the junk food, but I felt like I should be able to make up for it by really upping my cardio. Salt seems to be my biggest enemy. I can go for sushi w/dh have low sodium soy sauce and be 3 pounds heavier the next morning (and I only eat vegetable sushi!). Things like that make me not want to go to restaurants anymore.

I know that I don't have a lot to loose, but I just feel like I don't know my body and can't control it. It's so frustrating to measure, exercise, track, and then gain a few ounces week after week. It's so much effort for absolutely no return. DH doesn't understand. He loves me the way I am, but I am starting to get to a point where I weigh myself every day and let that govern my mood. I got a tape measure thinking that it was because I am gaining muscle that the scale is not going my way so I will start to use that too, but I really just don't like the way I look in clothes. I don't really share this with too many people because I am a healthy girl, I have a good life, and it's too much to try to explain to someone without looking like a complainer. But I feel like I am becoming a little too withdrawn for my liking. We are trying to have a baby now and if I gain a lot of weight and can't get it off afterwards I am afraid that I will become depressed. Especially because all of the women in DH's family are naturally thin, eat whatver they want, don't gain a thing. After babies they are right back in their jeans within a month.

So, I want to be accountable to you all and continue posting my weight good, bad, or ugly. Thanks for letting me share ladies! I will see you all on the WW thread!

Re: Joining the WW thread, but wanted to post this first...LONG

I totally understand about wieght creeping on, and you not being able to figure out what's going wrong with your diet.....

promise me something....you'll stop weighing yourself everyday, and only weigh yourself once a week? It's not about a number....it's about looking and feeling good in your clothes, no matter what diet you're on...

two things right off the bat struck me....
1. change your workout routine...try a different class, or even go fewer days a week....change it up....my friends swear by pilates, and I have to say, it's kicking my butt, and changing my shape...try that for two weeks and see if it makes a difference...

2. maybe see a doctor, have a blood work up, maybe sure you're insulin levels, cholesterol, thyroid, etc are all in order....

Re: Joining the WW thread, but wanted to post this first...LONG

I agree with the pp. Definitely sounds like you need to really switch up your exercise routine. I bet you'll lose weight more efficiently if you shock your body with a different routine. Ever consider HIIT? A few girls here do it and it seems like they get great results.

AND okay I know I am starting to sound like some sort of core evangelist lately - but I swear it's life changing! Along with tossing the scale since it is obviously causing you to play mind games with yourself, maybe consider trying the core plan on ww? There is no weighing or measuring (unless you are eating a non-core food). This is my second week and I swear it's like total freedom. But having said that it's not for everyone, but if you think you like the foods on the core list I would really consider it.

ETS: for saying all that. I know it's not easy to admit these sort of things to yourself and especially to other people. What's most important is that you feel good about yourself and your body, doesn't really matter how much you weigh or whether other people think you look "good enough." Good luck I am sure you will do wonderful!!!

Message edited 2/8/2008 12:09:11 PM.

Re: Joining the WW thread, but wanted to post this first...LONG

Thanks so much for the support ladies. I think the catalyst for this was seeing a girl on that "secret lives of women" show. She was obsessed w/ weighing herself to the point where she kept a scale at work. It was just too familiar for comfort. I weigh my hand weights on my scale regularly to check the calibration.

I have been thinking about core lately. I don't know too much about it, but I think that might be the change I need. I am supposed to be eating 18 points a day and it just feels like I am hungry all the time. I am afraid of overeating on it, but I don't know enough about it.

We are getting life insurance and I have an appointment in a couple of weeks for my physical for that so I will get basic blood work done and see if anything is going on chemistry wise. I've always had really low blood pressure, but I don't know anything about sugars, or my cholesterol.

I've been obsessed w/heavy cardio because you can get so many points the more you do, but on the core I don't think it works that way right? I'll have to read up on it tonight. I don't know what HIIT is. I'll look into that.

Thanks again. It feels really good to finally write that all out.

Re: Joining the WW thread, but wanted to post this first...LONG

Good luck and thank you for being so honest! It's not easy to reveal all of that about yourself.
I'm in a similar situation...I was always 120 lbs and in good shape. I gained 5 lbs after dating DH for a year...then I gained 8 lbs between the time we got engaged & married (I had an extremely stressful job and just stopped working out). Then I got preggo, had DD and 2.5 years later, I'm STILL trying to lose all the weight. The good news is, I joined WW and love it so far!
As for your question about activity points on core...I asked about that last week and my leader said it gets added to your weekly 35 flex points.

Re: Joining the WW thread, but wanted to post this first...LONG

Yeah if you are finding yourself really hungry all the time and working out so you can eat something is wrong. Try core - you may end up loving it!

And NK is right, activity points get added to your weekly 35.