Kelly Clarkson appears in this month’s Self magazine. She sat down after her photo shoot to give the magazine a surprisingly open interview. Here are some of the highlights:

On keeping a journal:

“Writing is therapeutic for me. It’s at least acknowledging that there’s something seriously wrong right then that I have to get out. Otherwise, it will eventually just kill me. I’ll start to become this other person who is jaded or always questioning everything around me. I don’t want to be that person.”

On whether her first single, Never Again, is about her breakup with Evanescence’s David Hodges:

“You know why (I won’t confirm it)? It’s like, look, dude, I’m not at this place anymore and I don’t want your name blasted everywhere, because I don’t even want to give you that credit. People make mistakes. They’re idiots. You don’t want to blame them for the rest of your life.”

On Because of You, a song about the divorce of her parents:

“The day that song hit the radio, I was literally throwing up. That’s one of the most personal songs I’ve ever written in the whole world. It hit me like a ton of bricks.”