*Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Interesting article. If you feel like reading the whole thing, I suggest it. I think the article sums up exactly how I feel! Maybe exactly how many of you feel as well.
Check it out!


Failing Schools


I do think the values of the people in our country are serioulsy flawed in many ways I am praying that I can raise grounded, motivated, hard working children of my own despite all of the other influences. I will give my children everything they NEED but not everything they WANT. They will have to earn it.

Think about this - how many kids show up on your door step during the snow storms asking to shovel your driveway? My own nephew declined doing it for $20.00. Do you know why? My 14 year old nephew has an IPOD, IPHONE, his own laptop, a wardrobe filled with designer sneakers, his parents will buy him a car, send him to college ...

What does he have to work for? Honestly, many kids today do NOT know the satisfaction of saving for a big ticket item. They do NOT know the satisfaction of earning a pay check - the value of the dollar is unknown. BUT parents today, are working 2-3 jobs to get their children more and more stuff. It is very sad and a terrible cycle. All of these values and ideals play have an impact on education.


Bottom Line:
Society is failing our children.

**********************************
If the title of this post was:
The secret to losing weight found!

Celebrity seen on long island!

Get rich quick!

It would have a zillion views and responses in 20 minutes. But this, I doubt, will not be a high interest topic. And is rather controversial in terms of blaming ourselves (adults, parents, teachers, media). But we need to take ownership and we need to model for the youth of today. Our jobs as role models are even harder today ... but it's worth the uphill battle.



----------------------------------------------

SO, I did in fact change the title of this post for an hour and a half. I changed it to, do you think I look fat in this picture?

Original Subject: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

-At 8:52 this post only had 5 responses and 115 views after being posted for 3 hours.

-After I changed the subject at 8 52 and checked back at 10:01 ... the views of this post were at 635.

A silly experiment but speaks volumes, no?
---------------------------------------------------

Message edited 9/9/2010 10:52:35 PM.

Re: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

i completely agree! i teach HS and every year i feel it gets worse and worse.

Re: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

I am right on with you on that.

I remember my dad saying that he bought his first car when he was 16 or 17. So I remember saying to him..oh good so when im that age you can buy me my first car...and he said "If my parents didnt buy me my first car, im not buying you yours.."

He taught me how to fix them instead...

and you know what..he's right. His parents came from italy and worked like dogs to make a good living for themselves here. I worked hard in school and my parents always rewarded for doing well. I was working at 14 either by babysitting, doing odd jobs. In college, I worked 2 jobs and went to school on a full scholarship.

I totally believe in buying nice things for your kids..but not spoiling them, or buying them the newest gadget that comes out every 5 seconds.

My DS and future children will have to work for their stuff too.

The sense of entitlement in this country these days is disgusting.

Re: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

I agree with you 100%!
And my daughter can vouch for that.

She did get her 1st car as a gift from my mom for her 16th birthday. It was my moms car and when she bought a new one, she gave DD hers.
It wasn't the kind of car she "wanted" but she gladly accepted it. Than ended up totaling it about a yr later.
Good thing she was working...because she bought herself a truck after that. That she babied! Something to be said about working for what you want.

And she was a good kid. Good grades...rarely got in trouble.
She would remind me of this. And I would remind her "You're suppose to get good grades. You should be respectful and you should stay out of trouble"!

To this day it makes her crazy to see my niece and some other family members get things handed to them when they don't do anything for themselves.

Re: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

Mississy - def. a good lesson! A family member of ours has oooodles and ooooodles of money but when their kids started driving they NEVER bought them a car. They said, "this is my car, you can use it, and if you even scratch it, you will never drive it again." They did that because they saw other teens get new cars, drive like they own it, and wrap them around trees. Trust that if your kids are driving their own car, they will be less careful. Life lessons that are just not taught anymore.

Re: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

Thanks.
It was the way we were raised.
To say we didn't have money is an understatement.
We (6kids) got what we needed but basically had to work for what we wanted.
I would tell my daughter...it worked for me...it will work for you
I she passes it down to
<------this guy

ETS: One more quick story.

When she was in high school they were working on a "dress code". Basically...no bellies showing, no bra straps...things like that.

One day she comes out of her room with a tank top on. I told her to change or put a shirt over it. She told me "no, it's a stupid rule and everyone wears these shirts".
We went back and forth.
I told her god help her if I get a call from school. I KNEW I WOULD!
Sure enough she calls me at work.
They told her she either had to go home or have someone bring her a change of clothes. On top of in school suspension.
Guess which one she asked for.
YUP a change of clothes.
I was pi$$ed! I told her I would pick her up on my lunch break and she would miss the rest of the day! AND the kitchen and bathroom BETTER be clean when I got home from work.

It was and she didn't try that again.

They will always push.
We just need to push harder. And it needs to start when they are young. And be consistant.

This has been my experience anyway

Message edited 9/9/2010 8:11:19 PM.

Re: do I look fat in this picture

I agree that rituals, routines, and instilling boundaries needs to start young and remain consistent - that is the most important thing! Be strict and nurturing at the same time. It's a delicate balance. But, I have to say I know many people, parents who take their roles seriously, who do a wonderful job. And others who are just raising spoiled, indulged children. So much has changed in just a couple of years. It's scary!



Thanks for sharing your story! Bet she never pulled that again lol

Re: do I look fat in this picture

I think thats a gross generalization....I was spoiled rotten as a kid, never had to lift a finger, asked for a car, got one....you get the point.

I am still motivated, hard working and grounded as an adult. My parents still managed to teach me life lessons and values.

Message edited 9/9/2010 10:22:40 PM.

Re: do I look fat in this picture

Re: do I look fat in this picture

I am also speaking from experience in terms of teaching adolescents. So I feel that I am pretty in tuned to how kids think. I'm not an expert, I'm not saying that. I just spend 6 hours each day with my students and form very close relations with them and their families. I keep in touch with my previous students, go to their graduations, give them advice and speak very candidly with them in order to help them reach their full potential. I adore my students, but really feel that in general they are lacking serious ambition. Many of these children aspire to be famous, get rich, etc. I want them to achieve more than that but it's hard when we, as a society just do not value hardwork.

Message edited 9/9/2010 10:58:18 PM.

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

I also think the younger generation is growing up in a much different time than we did. A lot of my friends are teachers and the stories they tell me are horrid. My kids would be locked in their rooms until they're 30 if they ever pulled that cr@p. I know if it were me I wouldn't have seen the light of day.

My parents raised my brother and I very different. At 16 I was working, buying my own clothes, later paying my own car insurance, gas, etc. I was going to college and working 3 jobs to pay for it. I still work to this day b/c I don't know how NOT to. I couldn't imagine ever not paying for this with my "own" money.

My brother on the other hand, well, nothing was ever expected of him. My parents handed him a lot, bailed him out of financial disasters and really spoiled him. He's now 30 years old, has yet to find a steady job and probably couldn't find his way out of a paper bag.

I also feel with society there aren't any real role models for kids. We make it seem like celebrities and sports figures are g-ds. They're put on a pedestal and get away with way too much. Even THEY aren't being held accountable for their actions. What does that say to the younger generation?

I could go on and on

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

While I'm not a parent, I have noticed with children in my life that instant gratification is a big problem. Anything that doesn't involve some kind of reward after a very short period of work is "boring". Their attention spans have become so short and they don't know the value of long-term consistent work. Everything is a means to an end.

I'll never forget the time I explained to them why I spend so much time and energy planting bulbs in fall. "You have to wait MONTHS to see anything?!" God forbid.

As a side note... I think the instant gratification is an issue with a whole lot of adults too.

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Posted by zuzuspetals

Interesting article. If you feel like reading the whole thing, I suggest it. I think the article sums up exactly how I feel! Maybe exactly how many of you feel as well.
Check it out!


Failing Schools


I do think the values of the people in our country are serioulsy flawed in many ways I am praying that I can raise grounded, motivated, hard working children of my own despite all of the other influences. I will give my children everything they NEED but not everything they WANT. They will have to earn it.

Think about this - how many kids show up on your door step during the snow storms asking to shovel your driveway? My own nephew declined doing it for $20.00. Do you know why? My 14 year old nephew has an IPOD, IPHONE, his own laptop, a wardrobe filled with designer sneakers, his parents will buy him a car, send him to college ...

What does he have to work for? Honestly, many kids today do NOT know the satisfaction of saving for a big ticket item. They do NOT know the satisfaction of earning a pay check - the value of the dollar is unknown. BUT parents today, are working 2-3 jobs to get their children more and more stuff. It is very sad and a terrible cycle. All of these values and ideals play have an impact on education.


Bottom Line:
Society is failing our children.

**********************************
If the title of this post was:
The secret to losing weight found!

Celebrity seen on long island!

Get rich quick!

It would have a zillion views and responses in 20 minutes. But this, I doubt, will not be a high interest topic. And is rather controversial in terms of blaming ourselves (adults, parents, teachers, media). But we need to take ownership and we need to model for the youth of today. Our jobs as role models are even harder today ... but it's worth the uphill battle.



----------------------------------------------

SO, I did in fact change the title of this post for an hour and a half. I changed it to, do you think I look fat in this picture?

Original Subject: *Why American Schools Are Failing!

-At 8:52 this post only had 5 responses and 115 views after being posted for 3 hours.

-After I changed the subject at 8 52 and checked back at 10:01 ... the views of this post were at 635.

A silly experiment but speaks volumes, no?
---------------------------------------------------

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

handme downs that is what i got and i got a new toy/decent decent present during christmas or mostly clothing.

I will not fall into the traps I see many friends who parent by giving in to major purchases of toys monthly and the zoo that is christmas.

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

i still disagree, I think children can be spoiled as long as there is good parenting involved in other ways. As long as children are taught lessons and values in addition to material things, if said things are revoked for being disrespectful or what have you, I think it can be done.

I know for a fact that being spoiled along with good parenting, does not lead to a "sense of entitlement".

Its not the spoiling alone that does this, it is that when coupled with a lack of respect for rules and values, that is tolerated by the parents and go unenforced that leads to "those" types of children.

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

I absolutely agree that as a society, we are valuing the wrong things. I agreed with a lot in this article, but I have to say, I kind of disregarded a lot when I saw that the author wrote "are" when it should have been "our" in the last paragraph

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

i also want to add that i see more and more of parents wanting to be their kids "best friend' rather than being a parent. lines get blurred and it just leads to a whole mess of problems.

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by Katareen

Posted by eddiesmommy

i still disagree, I think children can be spoiled as long as there is good parenting involved in other ways. As long as children are taught lessons and values in addition to material things, if said things are revoked for being disrespectful or what have you, I think it can be done.

I know for a fact that being spoiled along with good parenting, does not lead to a "sense of entitlement".

Its not the spoiling alone that does this, it is that when coupled with a lack of respect for rules and values, that is tolerated by the parents and go unenforced that leads to "those" types of children.

Of course there will be exceptions to absolutely everything, but I would have to agree that you are likely in the minority. Your parents just happened to create a balance in their household that resulted in a well-adjusted child, and then adult.

Of the teenagers I see now, they definitely have a HUGE sense of entitlement--much more than I saw when I was a teenager 15 yrs ago.

Its definitely more prominent, Im not arguing that. But I think its more lack of parenting that breeds children with a sense of entitlement and disrespect, rather than the material things themselves.

Re: *Kids Today ... Do you agree with this article? Do you think spoiling kids is damaging?

I totally 100% agree w/the poster. My husband and I dont have children yet but when we do they are certainly going to work for the things they want. Our parents gave us everything we NEEDED but we certianly worked for the things we wanted. I grew up with so many ppl whose parents spoiled them and they got whatever they wanted and they have amounted to nothing. Why would you suddenly start to work hard for what you want when it has always been given to you. And this whole thing w/kids and cell phones! Im sorry but it is getting out of hand! My mothers friend just got her 7 yr old one... what the heck does a 7 yr old need a cell phone for?!?! My little cousins sit there and instead of having a conversation with eachother like normal human beings, they text eachother. Tell me this isnt conditioning them to be unable to communicate in the real world. My children will have everything they NEED and will work for what they WANT.

Message edited 9/10/2010 11:14:23 AM.