Kiind of want to wean. Feeling guilty. Long.

DD is 13 months. I have been entertaining the idea of weaning lately. My goal was to make it to 14 months dd's edd. I figured one year, plus the two extra months she was born early. I always said I wanted to let her self wean. If by 2 she didn't then I would b4 we ttc. Lately I have been feeling like I just want to be done. I feel so guilty & selfish about this. I think it has to do w/ dd having a milk protein allergy so she isn't on milk yet.
I ep the first 2 months while dd was in the nicu, and then she learned to ebf. She then refused the bottle a few months later. On top of that I had a dairy free diet b/cof her allergy. I just feel like so much was/is on me. DH wants to help but cant. She wont take bm from a sippy either. I have no stash, and get nothing if I pump. I started adding dairy back into my diet as per the ped 3 wks ago. Only issue has been some constipation. Once that resolves we will add small amounts of dairy into her diet. I am thinking by the end of the summer she might be able to tolerate reg milk.
I think I just feel stuck bc I am bf at this point. She nurses for naps & bed. She isnt sttn. Comfort nursing all the time. It is just getting to be a strain. I want dh to have to be able to help. I just feel so guilty to wean b/c I want to kwim ? I want her to sttn. I want dh to be able to put her to bed. I want to be able to do more. I always have to time everything around bf.
I am scared to stop though. Even if it is gradual over the next few months. I am worried about becoming depressed. What will dd drink? Will she nap? How will we get her to bed at night? Am I going to regret it? If you made it this far thanks!

Re: Kiind of want to wean. Feeling guilty. Long.

I just wanted to say, 13 months!! Why are you beating yourself up? 13 months is so incredibly impressive!! If there's nothing else I learned on LIF, it's this: what makes the mom happy makes everyone happy. If you're not happy ebf, then wean her off of it. The rest will follow.

Re: Kiind of want to wean. Feeling guilty. Long.

I totally know how you are feeling. DS is going to be 12 months next week and I can't believe we have made it this far but I also want to keep going. At the same time I want to stop. It is so hard to decide, especially now since he doesn't "need" BM anymore. I have no idea what I am going to do or when we are going to stop.

Maybe you can try to do less feedings for now. I had DS down to 3 for awhile and just recently down to 2 times a day. It has dramatically changed things for the better. It is a breeze and only morning and night. I feel so free and when he does nurse it is that much more special since its not constant, kwim? I thought it would be so hard but it just happened naturally for us. I kept extending the times and then one day we were out and I decided to see how long he could go and he was fine till the evening.

There is no right or wrong answer so I guess you just have to do what is best for everyones overall happiness. No matter what you do, you should be extremely proud of yourself! 13 months of breastfeeding is an AMAZING accomplishment!!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Re: Kiind of want to wean. Feeling guilty. Long.

I completely understand the feelings of guilt. I am sort of in the same boat myself. I never EBF’d because I went back to work at 12 weeks and I also had to supplement because my supply was never that good. But I always nursed all day on weekends and always before work and before bedtime. DS is 8.5 months now, and my supply has dipped much lower since he is eating more solids. I just feel that it’s time to wean, even though it makes me really sad to think about stopping. Like you said though, it’s more about ME and MY feelings! I know DS will be just fine… especially since he’s so used to formula already… I just will really miss that bedtime nursing session when he falls asleep on me and I stare down as his cute little face, mouth hanging open. At this point I've already weaned him down to morning and bedtime sessions (stopped pumping at work). That was about 2 weeks ago now... I just can't seem to bring myself to STOP! I really never expected to feel this way. On one hand, it will be great to "get my body back", not have to wear nursing bras/tanks anymore, have DH help with more feedings, etc. But- I truly will miss those bonding moments with DS. All that being said... I know, for us, it's time.

You should be extremely proud of yourself for BFing as long as you have! You have done such an incredible thing for your DC. But I agree with fujamaga... if EBF is stressing you out this much then maybe it's not worth it anymore. Just know that your DC will be absolutely FINE!!! There is no shame in stopping, and nobody but you can tell you when the right time is. Just try to focus on what you've accomplished, and that is something wonderful!!

Re: Kiind of want to wean. Feeling guilty. Long.

OMG First @ going thus far. As for feeling guilty, you shouldn't simple as that. It's alot of demand and also not STTN for 13 months must be making it all the harder. I say speak to the ped about what she would drink if you did stop, how it would work and see if that calms some of your fears and then wean her. If not than keep going until you can feel more comfortable with not BFing anymore. I must say you are my idol.

Re: Kiind of want to wean. Feeling guilty. Long.

DS is about to be 11 months and I want him completely weaned by 12 months. I introduced the sippy with water months ago, just to get him used to the cup. My goal was 12 months. But I've had enough. I made it 7 months with DD (worked and pumped, she self weaned). So I am pretty proud of myself. DS is so active, that he is squirming, even when BFing. It's annoying and not comfortable anymore. I don't pump, so I feel like I have a ball and chain. Just like you planning things around BFing.

I just feel like he is ready. Your DD will adjust too. Maybe start introducing the sippy with water, just to get her used to it. Give it to her with meals in the highchair. She'll figure it out. Then, I would assume something like soy milk would be ok to give. And put a few onces in the cup during meals. Eventually, she will like her independence and move on. And you can too. We have to stop some time right? Might as well be now.