Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

So I received my DC first letter home from school regarding DC behavior in class. I am mortified, disappointed, sad and angry. I drafted up a letter to send back to the teacher, but just wanted to get some feedback on it before I send since I have never had to do this before. What do you think, I want to send this out before I go to bed. Do you think this is OK?

"Good Evening,

I received the letter you sent home regarding (DC name here) behavior in class. First, let me apologize for (name here) behavior and the distraction it is causing. I spoke to (DC) tonight in length about (DC) behavior and (DC) did lose TV privileges tonight which (DC) will need to earn back with good behavior in class.

I am certainly on board with the behavior chart you sent home. Please do what you feel is necessary in class and I will certainly back up what you feel is the best course of action for your classroom. You should be able to perform your job and the other children should be able learn in a distraction free environment. I discussed with (DC) how (DC) behavior is not fair or respectful to you or DC classmates.

With that said, (and I am certainly not making excuses for (DC) behavior because it is unacceptable, regardless) we do have this issue with (DC) every year with the onset of allergy season. (DC) is on 6 different medications and the side effects of some of them are hyperactivity. We actually discussed it with DC allergist this year to see if there were other medications with less behavioral side effects. As you can tell, there were not.

However, it is still unacceptable to be causing such a disturbance that it warrants a letter home. I know based on previous parent/teacher conferences this year that this has been a minor ongoing issue with (DC) and I do recognize that. I believe (DC) medications only exacerbate an issue that is certainly still problematic when it is not allergy season. That is not OK and I agree that there needs to be consequences for (DC) actions or recognition for being well-behaved in class.

Again, it is your classroom and you have to do what you feel is best for the greater good of the class and I respect that and will be 100% behind whatever course of action will be most beneficial for you and the other students. Please know, you have my blessing to handle this during the day as you see fit and I will reinforce that at home be it by consequences for a poor chart or rewarding (dc) for a job well done for the day.

Once more, I apologize for the distraction and the extra work this causes for you and if there is anything you feel you would like me to specifically do at home to reinforce your classroom's rules, please don't hesitate to ask.

I appreciate you reaching out to me and sending the letter home so I am aware. Thank you."

Oh god, I cannot believe I have THAT kid right now. This is elementary school, FWIW.

Message edited 5/17/2013 11:37:09 AM.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

i think it is written perfectly

i hope your dc feels better

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Posted by gina409

i think it is written perfectly

i hope your dc feels better

Message edited 5/17/2013 12:27:05 AM.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

the fact that you are owning up to it makes u so much better than you know

you are acknowledging both sides,that it is from meds but also not acceptable

it is OK to be THAT mom,we all are sometimes


if i was that teacher i would love the letter

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Lose the allergy meds stuff. You can mention it in person.
Otherwise, letter is good. Good for you for reacting well to the letter by Taking action (punishing kid)... And supporting teacher.
Sorry. Hard to hear negative things about your kid.

Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

I agree about removing the allergy stuff. Otherwise it's fine.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

As a teacher, I think it's great that you are not making excuses. This time of year is particularly tough for all students. School is almost over, the weather is getting nicer, and the kids are getting antsy. I'm sure it's not just your child I would keep the info about the allergy meds in there just so she's aware. I wouldn't stress too much about it. You did the best you could do by showing your DC that you're disappointed and letting the teacher know you're on board with her.

Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

This is a great letter! I am a teacher and think that this is perfectly written and shows the teacher that you understand and want to help. I would definitely keep the allergy stuff in because it explains some of the behavior. Like a previous poster said sometimes we all are that parent no kid is perfect all the time and you are doing all you can to control the behavior. Good job!

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

I think it's a beautifully written letter, and I commend you for really partnering with the teacher to address your son's behavior.

I would leave the allergy stuff in. It is a very valid reason for behavioral difficulties. I work in a special education preschool, and we always see a huge increase in behavioral problems this time of year. The antihistamines really do a number on the children's ability to focus and regulate their activity level, and that's on top of physical discomfort from the allergies themselves.

By being right on top of your son's behavior and working with the school, you are going to be successful. There is nothing to be embarrassed about when you are being a responsible parent. Wishing you the best of luck.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

I think it was good. I would leave in the allergy stuff because you are not making an excuse, you are just informing the teacher why there may be an exacerbation of his behavior right now. This way the teacher will have one idea to specifically why his behavior may have changed. I think any significant medical side effects should be acknowledged to those who are responsible for his safety.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Posted by Teach723

As a teacher, I think it's great that you are not making excuses. This time of year is particularly tough for all students. School is almost over, the weather is getting nicer, and the kids are getting antsy. I'm sure it's not just your child I would keep the info about the allergy meds in there just so she's aware. I wouldn't stress too much about it. You did the best you could do by showing your DC that you're disappointed and letting the teacher know you're on board with her.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Looks great. Leave the stuff about the meds, as a teacher it is so helpful to know, and we so rarely do.

Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

I think it's written extremely well. I agree with leaving the allergy stuff in. You're not making excuses you're giving a valid and honest defense for his behavior while still being supportive in the decision she is making for action.

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Excellent letter. I don't see why anyone would say to remove the allergy part. It's important information.

That said, I'm surprised this is all being done through letter writing. Based on what you wrote, it sounds to me that the teacher probably should have called you so you could have a conversation about the situation (and go over the behavior chart).

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

well written. My one son, is always out of sorts during allergy season. I dont give him any OTC meds such as clariten or Zytrec. I think they make them worse.
I gave an all natural D-hist to my son and it doesnt make him hyper.

Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Coming from a teacher, I think it's great. You apologized tooo much lol! It's not your fault his behavior in class isn't always 100%- they're easily influenced by other kids, and they want approval and acceptance from the other kids, so sometimes, they act out. I know the teacher gets it.
So glad you put the info about allergy meds in there so they can keep an eye out.... I think you did great!

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

Thanks guys! I appreciate the feedback.

Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

I agree it is a perfect lettert expect you od apologize an awful lot!

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

I think you understandably have a lot to say and a lot of feelings about your child's behavior in class. I think the teacher should have reached out to you via phone or meeting to discuss these concerns if the behavior is that disruptive and a behavior plan is being proposed.

I would request a meeting with her and verbally express what you said in the letter, including the allergy medication issue.

Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback

You have written a very sweet letter. Any teacher would cherish a letter like this and consider you a collaborative partner. Parents do not often react with such understanding!

Re: Letter home from the teacher - need urgent feedback