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Letters to our other half

Posted By Message

nancygrace
I'm 2!

Member since 9/05

6616 total posts

Name:
Live*Love*Laugh

Letters to our other half


----- TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.


I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory
because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......



==========================================================

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you
didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the
sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would
you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to
breathe

Posted 2/15/06 5:54 PM
 
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Summer05
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

2320 total posts

Name:

Re: Letters to our other half

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Posted 2/15/06 5:55 PM
 

MrsS2005
Mom of 3

Member since 11/05

13118 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Letters to our other half

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Posted 2/15/06 5:56 PM
 

Tany
Becoming a different woman

Member since 5/05

24460 total posts

Name:
Tania

Re: Letters to our other half

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Posted 2/15/06 6:28 PM
 

MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom

Member since 10/05

11240 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Letters to our other half

very funny

Posted 2/15/06 6:36 PM
 

luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013

Member since 5/05

21840 total posts

Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me

Re: Letters to our other half

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Posted 2/15/06 6:41 PM
 

Dani
Life is about choices.

Member since 5/05

6532 total posts

Name:
Dani

Re: Letters to our other half

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awesome! i love the "on my back or kneeling" one!

Posted 2/15/06 7:00 PM
 

nancygrace
I'm 2!

Member since 9/05

6616 total posts

Name:
Live*Love*Laugh

Re: Letters to our other half

i love the part about fartingChat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 2/15/2006 7:32:25 PM.

Posted 2/15/06 7:32 PM
 

LI2VA
Love my life!!

Member since 11/05

3125 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Letters to our other half

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Love,love love this!

Posted 2/15/06 7:48 PM
 

Myrockette
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Member since 5/05

5632 total posts

Name:

Re: Letters to our other half

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Posted 2/15/06 7:58 PM
 
 

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