Posted By |
Message |
nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name: Live*Love*Laugh
|
Letters to our other half
----- TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be sleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING.......
==========================================================
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat 36 times you did not come home at all 21 times you didn't cum 33 times you came too soon 19 times you went soft before you got in 38 times you worked too late 10 times you got cramps in your toes 29 times you had to get up early to play golf 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe
|
Posted 2/15/06 5:54 PM |
|
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Summer05
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2320 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Letters to our other half
|
Posted 2/15/06 5:55 PM |
|
|
MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name: B
|
Re: Letters to our other half
|
Posted 2/15/06 5:56 PM |
|
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name: Tania
|
Re: Letters to our other half
|
Posted 2/15/06 6:28 PM |
|
|
MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name: Jennifer
|
Re: Letters to our other half
very funny
|
Posted 2/15/06 6:36 PM |
|
|
luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name: To a brand new year to a healthier me
|
Re: Letters to our other half
|
Posted 2/15/06 6:41 PM |
|
|
Dani
Life is about choices.
Member since 5/05 6532 total posts
Name: Dani
|
Re: Letters to our other half
awesome! i love the "on my back or kneeling" one!
|
Posted 2/15/06 7:00 PM |
|
|
nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name: Live*Love*Laugh
|
Re: Letters to our other half
i love the part about farting
Message edited 2/15/2006 7:32:25 PM.
|
Posted 2/15/06 7:32 PM |
|
|
LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name: Melissa
|
Re: Letters to our other half
Love,love love this!
|
Posted 2/15/06 7:48 PM |
|
|
Myrockette
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Member since 5/05 5632 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Letters to our other half
|
Posted 2/15/06 7:58 PM |
|
|