Life as a Working Mom

I've been a SAHM for 2.5 years, but about a month ago I went back to work full-time.

Overall, I have to say I love being back at work. I love having a paycheck. I love the planning, being with adults, the steadiness to the days (none of the highs and lows, tantrums, etc. that I have been dealing with), and I love being able to drink coffee in the morning. Most of all, I love picking DS up at the end of the day--it's so wonderful to see him.

But, whether it's his age or just adjusting to daycare (probably both), my time with DS is not so great (after the first 15 minutes or so). Night after night there are tantrums, arguments, and struggles to get the most simple things done (like change a poopy diaper). I am at my wits end, and often wind up wishing I stayed at work. DHs work hours are longer, and he helps out when he gets home, but I do a lot of it myself (dinner, bath, etc.).

So I am hoping this will pass in time. If it doesn't, we might need to think about a babysitter over daycare (though he says he likes daycare, he just wants me there, so it sounds like a separation thing).

Has anyone gone back to work with an older child entering daycare for the first time? How long did it take for things to settle down? I am trying to remember these are huge changes for a toddler, but I'm getting weary of the screaming and struggling night after night.

Re: Life as a Working Mom

My DD has been in daycare since she was 14 week old, but in general, I feel like that age is a little rough. It may just be a phase. I would stick it out for a few more weeks before you look into something else.

Message edited 7/24/2010 10:20:10 PM.

Re: Life as a Working Mom

I agree with the pp. My dd has been in daycare since she was 7 months and her attitude and tantrums are totally because of her age and not because.I am working. I'd stick it out a little longer

Re: Life as a Working Mom

Was DS like this before you went back to work?

My son is around the same age- and he is fighting me on lots of things- similar to what you describe. At first I thought it was because he was adjusting to his new baby brother who arrived 3 months ago.

But then I realized that this was happening before- so it was not because of the baby- but just the stage he is in. I know it is tough.

I am glad you like your job, though!

Re: Life as a Working Mom

I think it could be that you are the one he can melt down with. He's probably trying to be good and brave at school with his new teachers. It's at home that he can "unwind."

Re: Life as a Working Mom

DD is 27 months and I am currently a SAHM. I think the way he is acting has a lot to do with the age plus the adjustment to a new environment with daycare. DD is acting te same way or worse these days. For her the adjustment is a new sibling. I am pretty sure it is a stage that will pass.

Re: Life as a Working Mom

As you know, our kids are one day apart. My DD started daycare at 21 months, after being cared for by family & another LIF mommy from13 months when I went from P/T to F/T. For the past month or so she has been a terror when I pick her up. That experience leads me to believe it's the age.

Re: Life as a Working Mom

I just went back to work full time 3 weeks ago after being home with my son for the 1st 17 months of his life.

I am also experiencing the same thing when I get home. He is super clingy, sometimes I cannot get him off my leg and god forbid I try to walk out of the room! He's also been acting out A LOT!! Biting, hair pulling, clawing my face. I think a lot of has to do with him feeling frustrated and trying to adjust to Mommy being away!

Re: Life as a Working Mom

It's an adjustment and it will pass, you'll see! We went through similar phases and at the end, you will fall into routine and everyone will enjoy their time together!

Re: Life as a Working Mom