LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

I just hired a personal trainer. It was just under 1K for 15 sessions. I admit that I chose her because she was the least expensive trainer that I interviewed/met with, but she also seemed very capable and enthusiastic.

I hired the trainer because I want to tone up and it's hard for me to motivate myself to get to the gym or workout on my own. I am not overweight (5'5" and 127 pounds) but would like to get the definition back that i had prior to getting married, having a a baby and all that jazz.

My workouts with this trainer are great, but in addition to the workouts (2 days a week) she wants me to do 3 additional days of cardio (I am fine with that) and keep a food journal (fine with that too.)

When I started keeping the journal, she told me I was doing it wrong--I was just writing down everything I ate on my ipad and she suggested myfitnesspal.com, which I posted on here--it'slike WW, but free.

She also stresses short and long term goals--and in all honesty, my goals are really vain--I want a flat tummy, a tight butt and toned legs and arms. If I lose any weight, it would be 3-5 pound maximum--I don't want to be too thin--I like my boobs! I told her this and while she agreed that fitness training in general had a lot to do with appearance, I had to have concrete goals--like lose 5 pounds in 6-7 weeks or run a 5K in 2-3 months.

When I didn't keep my food journal over Thanksgiving weekend, she gave me this really long lecture about commitment and excuses and I felt like I was a schoolgirl being scolded by her teacher. It was awful!

I told her that I didn't overeat, but I'm just not used to logging onto the computer every time I eat or drink something. I told her this way of eating was new for me and I needed time to adjust, plus I wasn't hiding anything--I just didn't log onto myfitnesspal.com. She seemed very disappointed and it has left me wondering if:
a- all personal trainers are like this in terms of food logging, goals and workouts vs. the workouts and strength training itself
b- are we just not a good match?
c- Do trainers generally scold their clients in situations like the one I described above?

I already paid her for the sessions, so I am going to definitely follow through, but this is all new to me, so I am wondering what the norms are.

Thanks for reading this far--and for any responses.

ETA: She also expects me to eat 1200 calories a day (according to myfitnesspal.com) and I feel like that's so low! I have so many issues right now!

Message edited 12/1/2010 3:19:09 PM.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

WOW..I mean I get that its her job to help you and motiivate you and to get you to see your wrong doings and to help you understand how it all works but to Talk down to you like that is absolutely WRONG. I've been with my trainer for almost a year...We started feb 1st and i was doing awsome until about May..then the crazyiness of my summer and a ton of events started and i totally fell off the wagon. He just measured me last week for the first time since probably May and my measurements are the highest they've been since I started with him and he not ONCE made me feel bad about it. He talked to me about it and if anything made me feel more motivated about it. I would talk to her and let her know the way you feel about how she tlaks to you and then if anything work through your last sessions and find a new trainer if you're not a fit. Its definitely important that you mesh well together and you feel comfortable. I'm a very good judge of character and I notice a lot of the trainers around my gym..honestly i wuold never go to..they all seem like they know it all and meanwhile they don't do half the research and studying of the body that they probably should. My trainer I know is so educated constantly going to conferences and researching on the internet and keeping himself educated and I love that about him. I'd be happy to reccomend my trainer to you if you want when/if the time comes.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

Thanks for the reply.

One thing you mentioned is that your trainer measured you--my trainer never did that.

She has come to my sessions in jeans and boots and a nice shirt like she's going out afterwards. (She wore workout clothes twice)

I just don't know if I made the right choice with her.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

No, not all trainers are like that. Everyone has their own methods and their own ways to handle things. Some people react to being "scolded", some people need more of a coach, some people need a cheerleader. Whatever it is you need, she should be able to adapt to your needs, but you have to tell her. You may not be a good match, but at this point, you both are going to need to make it work, and since you are the client, she's going to have to change, or refund your money.

I think her expectations of how often you should workout are reasonable, I think food journals are important, and I think 1200-1400 calories is ideal for weight loss for a smaller person. She needs to know your goals so she can help you reach them, if she doesn't know what you want out of it, she won't know how to design a program for you.

I would definitely tell her that the way she reacted doesn't work for you, and just makes you want to shut down, and I would defintely ask her to measure you every 4-6 weeks!

Good luck!

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

Thanks for responding!

I don't mind the extra workouts at all--I started running and I feel great. i was just really surprised at her reaction when I told her I didn't keep the food journal over the holiday weekend. I also told her in the beginning that I wasn't looking to lose weight, but firm up.

You make some really great points! Thanks for your input! I definitely fall into the "need coach" category.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

I guess she's trying to teach you that what you eat is important for achieving results but her method sucks. It's unmotivating.

And to tell you to eat 1200 calories a day - on what exactly is that based?

I find that quite a few trainers get their certifications and then think they know it all when they don't.


a- all personal trainers are like this in terms of food logging, goals and workouts vs. the workouts and strength training itself

no

b- are we just not a good match?
you like how she trains you so maybe you need to tell her (since she's working FOR you) to stop scolding you and just do her job. if she goes on about how important diet is, tell her that you've just started working with a nutritionist to shut her up.

c- Do trainers generally scold their clients in situations like the one I described above?

i've had two trainers, male and female - neither scolded me ever

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

I have been with a personal trainer since February. I also did myfitnesspal.com for a while. My trainer has never lectured or scolded me. In my opinion they should be advising you and guiding you. I think you need to explain to her your concerns.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

My trainer is very motivating but he has never scolded me in anyway. As a matter of fact, he knew I had a work dinner last night and when I came in this morning he asked me how the dinner was and if I had fun. I told him I had a great time and then he laughed and said alright, I'm going to assume you ate badly and we'll burn it all off now, Let's go. When I was working out he would say things like, is that worth the wine? Does that dessert still taste good? But he doesn't scold me. He motivates me with it.

I would not continue with this trainer. For that amount of money you have to be VERY happy with your trainer.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

No, a trainer has never acted that way with me & I've had 2. By your measurements, it sounds like you don't overeat & you want to tone after having a baby. I'd tell her that she should focus on giving you workout tips instead of micromanaging every crumb you eat since your goal is to tone.

Re: LONG: Can we discuss personal trainers? (Methods, Beliefs, Values etc.)

Thank you all.

I think the poster who wrote that it sounds as if I don't overeat hit the nail on the head. I don't. Plain and simple. I want to tone up after having a baby and not working out for two years. I also don't believe in depriving myself of my VERY occasional slice of cake or Hot Chocolate from Starbucks.

I did pay her a lot and I guess I have to let her know my expectations if/when this happens again. I have seen her since and she was back to her usual self, but i can't get that scolding out of my mind.

I have until early January with her, so at that time I'll decide if I stick with her for another 1K, get a gym trainer at BAlly's where I have a membership that I don't use bc I don't live near one or try a new home personal trainer.

Thanks all.