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Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

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AnonQuest
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/06

3 total posts

Name:

Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

etd.

Thanks to all those who responded. I'll let you know how it goes.Chat Icon

Message edited 1/20/2006 3:14:16 PM.

Posted 1/20/06 11:38 AM
 
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dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

Woah.....Its kinda creepy if you ask me. Seems like if he would create a seperate email its borderline obsessive.

You need to think hard before telling your sister, but I think I would to be honest if it were me.

Posted 1/20/06 11:43 AM
 

LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here

Member since 5/05

12023 total posts

Name:
Sonia

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

In all seriousness, I would address it with all the parties involved. So that thera are no misunderstandings later. Call for a gathering of the sisters involved including your sis who is married to him. This needs to stop because if I were your sis & you were so "close" to me then I would feel betrayed that no one told me it was goiong on. IMO

Good luck!

Posted 1/20/06 11:44 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

I would not email him back, I would go straight to sister #1. It worries me that he is "into" this and that his dd also kicked him. Good luckChat Icon

Posted 1/20/06 11:51 AM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

I am not so sure I follow. It seems to be that your BIL has a "kicked in the groin" fetish. I still don't get why he is e-mailing you and your sister #2 about this... but OK...

I agree with Sonia. You and your sister #2 need to confront sister #1. Have print outs of the e-mails as proof. I don't know if I would tell the part about hacking into his e-mail, but I would have print outs of all the e-mails and your responses. I would not present these print outs unless there is some sort of a conflict or she asks for them.

Just let her know that at first you didn't think anything of it, but it started to get wierd and you found out he was talking to sister #2 about the same issue (if that's true).

Make sure she knows there are no judgments- and you don't think this means much, but you wanted to bring it to her attention. Tell her it doesn't change the way you feel about your BIL or your sister. Play it off like you think its nothing, but just thought she should know because you are so close and honesty is so important to you.

Posted 1/20/06 11:52 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

Posted by Shellyesq

I am not so sure I follow. It seems to be that your BIL has a "kicked in the groin" fetish. I still don't get why he is e-mailing you and your sister #2 about this... but OK...

I agree with Sonia. You and your sister #2 need to confront sister #1. Have print outs of the e-mails as proof. I don't know if I would tell the part about hacking into his e-mail, but I would have print outs of all the e-mails and your responses. I would not present these print outs unless there is some sort of a conflict or she asks for them.

Just let her know that at first you didn't think anything of it, but it started to get wierd and you found out he was talking to sister #2 about the same issue (if that's true).

Make sure she knows there are no judgments- and you don't think this means much, but you wanted to bring it to her attention. Tell her it doesn't change the way you feel about your BIL or your sister. Play it off like you think its nothing, but just thought she should know because you are so close and honesty is so important to you.




This is what I would do too, but I think I would add that I am going to tell BIL to stop emailing me and sister #2. It is up to her to do what she wants with the info, but I do not really want to continue to be involved in whatever it is he is into. I would want to support sister #1, and let her handle her husband.

Posted 1/20/06 11:59 AM
 

MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

OMG this guy is getting off on sending these emails to people. If he likes to get kicked and turns him on sexually - its his own perogative. BUT he is sexually harassing (abusing?) you and your SIL - its completely OUT OF LINE and his wife should know about it. OMG I"m sorry about this!

Posted 1/20/06 12:05 PM
 

suvenR
designer mutt

Member since 5/05

4239 total posts

Name:

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

There is a big issue here. I think you and Sister #2 REALLY need to talk to Sister #1 about how he speaks to other women...the issue is not so much the fetish, IMO, but his need to get so many other women involved in these discussions

Posted 1/20/06 12:23 PM
 

FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic

Member since 6/05

10212 total posts

Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

Posted by Janice

I would not email him back, I would go straight to sister #1. It worries me that he is "into" this and that his dd also kicked him. Good luckChat Icon



I agree! I think BIL #1 reached out to you and sis #2 for help (kid of,sort of). It seems that he want to get caught but indrectly. No more correspondence with BIL! You and sis #2 definitely need to talk to sis #1. Like someone else said, you need to approach her as no jusgements. Let her know you are there to support her in whatever she chooses to do and you are always there for her Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/20/06 1:36 PM
 

skygirl
Our prayers were answered:)

Member since 6/05

4919 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

Posted by Janice

I would not email him back, I would go straight to sister #1. It worries me that he is "into" this and that his dd also kicked him. Good luckChat Icon



I agree with Janice and FelandJOhn.

You definitely need to go to sister#1 and bil maybe with your dh and put all of this out in the open.
He needs some help- your sister will as well.
Let them know you are aware of this and that and will help abd be supportive but its all out in the open.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this really touchy situation.
It will definitely not be easy but in the long run it will be better for all invoved. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/20/06 1:44 PM
 

Wendy
Wheeee!

Member since 5/05

13736 total posts

Name:

Re: Long, Long Story with Advice Needed.

I'm not sure I'm totally following it all but agree with everyone else - all sisters involved need to have a discussion. What is the most concerning to me is the mention that BIL said something about his daughter ...

Good luck!

Posted 1/20/06 2:23 PM
 
 

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