Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Ok some details to the story - I threw a baby shower last year for a friend (not close friend) but someone that i have known for quite some time. I was better friends with her husband bc we worked for the same company. Anyway - she doesnt have any family here, doesnt talk to her SIL or MIL so I asked her husband if anyone was throwing her a baby shower, he said no & i offered to throw her one at my house. So I did everything like I would have done for my bestest friend or my sister, and this girl was soooo ungrateful, she came in (completely surprised) but said oh well i knew i would have a baby shower bc everyone has one. meanwhile it was only like 8 girls and no one else offered to throw her one!!! she made stupid remarks at the baby shower like.... oh i know there are more gifts etc etc , where are you hiding them BLA BLA BLA. the next day after cleaning my house after the baby shower DH & I dropped off all the gifts at her house and she has the nerve to say - oh i was waiting for so long for my gifts yadda yadda yadda.... I thought you took them. WELL excuse me if i was cleaning up my house after your baby shower. Anyway to make a long story short - i was pis$ed off, DH was pis$$ed of more and said forget this girl. but im the type of person to kinda just move on and get over it. So 1 yr later, we still keep in touch, we go to their daughters christening, everything is dandy. and my shower comes this Saturday - she texts me at 6:00pm sorry i couldnt come i have a runny nose, have a good time, ill visit you when my runny nose gets better
IS THAT NORMAL???? not to mention the fact that we have a mutual friend who spoke to her earlier that day and she was out for a walk & then when our friend called her to see if she wants a ride to the b shower she said im nto going bc i dont feel well, meanwhile 2 hrs ago you were strolling around the neighborhood. So everyone said screw her, you throw her a great shower and this is how she repays you, she cant even stop by for an hour. So I didnt text her back or anything. & today she emails me after seeing my maternity pics saying how great i look and how shes so sorry that she couldnt make it, that she hasnt left her house for like 3 weeks, (Bullsh*t) that she wants to visit me before arrives and give me the gift she got.

What do I do? Ignore and forget her? Get my gift? I know DH will flip out if I tell him that I'm even considering meeting up with her. Which ,to be quite honest I wouldnt even really want to because who needs people like this in their life.
What do you think?
Sorry so long, & thanks for reading

Message edited 7/2/2009 8:05:59 AM.

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

I would be so mad, I wouldn't even be able to look at her. Knowing my personality I would just ignore her from now on and be happy to never talk to her again. She obviously is an EXTREMELY selfish person (by her actions both after the shower you threw her, and by not showing up at your shower for no good reason!) and in my eyes there is no need to have someone like that in your life.

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Umm you need to drop her like a bad habit. You've done more than enough for her-sounds like my relationship with one of my SIL's and I've learned you can't change people, and yes some people can be so ridiculous-so for the sake of your own sanity-drop her. You don't have to say or do anything-just slowly back off doing stuff, etc-be busy yourself and be happy she's not family!

HTH (I'm typing on my blackberry and my fingers are killing me LOL)

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Posted by brownie

Umm you need to drop her like a bad habit. You've done more than enough for her-sounds like my relationship with one of my SIL's and I've learned you can't change people, and yes some people can be so ridiculous-so for the sake of your own sanity-drop her. You don't have to say or do anything-just slowly back off doing stuff, etc-be busy yourself and be happy she's not family!

HTH (I'm typing on my blackberry and my fingers are killing me LOL)

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Posted by brownie

Umm you need to drop her like a bad habit.

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Posted by alisonggg

She obviously is an EXTREMELY selfish person (by her actions both after the shower you threw her, and by not showing up at your shower for no good reason!) and in my eyes there is no need to have someone like that in your life.

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

thanks ladies, you all sound like my husband
so just dont respond to her emails.... or just say well im busy... im so bad dropping people jeeezzzz

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

I would be furious and i would tell her to take her gift and shove it and not bother seeing you before or after the baby for that matter.

she's an ungrateful beotch and its time you stop being so nice about it.

i've learned the hard way that there are pple in life who will just take and take and take, and not give an inch in return. I dont deal with those people in my life anymore.

good luck with this!

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

I'm a b!tch...I'd tell her that I have a runny nose and dont think I'd be able to get together before baby was born. And then tell her that I'd really rather not wait for my gift and perhaps she could mail it

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

I doubt she even actually has a gift for you. Ignore her and go on your merry way!

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Posted by JennyPenny

I doubt she even actually has a gift for you. Ignore her and go on your merry way!

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Tell her you aren't feeling up to going out this late in your pregnancy.

Ask her if she can stop by your house with the gifts. She can choose to make it a visit or she can choose to make it a drive-by/drop-off.

Accept your gifts. Mail her a thank you. And move on!!

(Get your gifts from her though - for all you did for her you've earned them!)


Oh, and if she doesn't come by in the next week or so, consider those items "not purchased" and go buy them yourself. If she ever does give them to you, you can always return them using your receipt. And if you have to go through that hassle, then accidentally forget to send a thank you.

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

this may be the unpopular opinion but i don't understand why you are mad that she didn't come.

if she did have a runny nose i think she was smart to stay home. maybe she was waiting until the last minute to see if she felt better.

and i don't see how her going for a walk outside makes her not sick.

i do think that she behaved obnoxiously at the shower you gave her and i would have cut all ties with her after that but i understand you not wanting to because you are close with her DH.

but if this is the worst thing she has done since - not come to your shower because she thought she was sick - then i would not hold that against her.

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Posted by Domino

I'm a b!tch...I'd tell her that I have a runny nose and dont think I'd be able to get together before baby was born. And then tell her that I'd really rather not wait for my gift and perhaps she could mail it

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Posted by Domino

I'm a b!tch...I'd tell her that I have a runny nose and dont think I'd be able to get together before baby was born. And then tell her that I'd really rather not wait for my gift and perhaps she could mail it

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

Ignore her! Same thing happened to me - My BFF didn't show up at my Jack and Jill because she got "lost" when it was at my brother's house where she had been plenty of times... She didn't call til two days after the shower to tell me why she wasn't going to be there...

So for my baby shower, she responded yes and called me in the middle of the shower telling me she didn't want to come because she has a cold and didn't want to give it to me b/c of the baby... um hello?? I'm not going to be all up on you, that was the worse excuse ever. She texted me a few days later saying she has a gift for me and wanted to know when I could stop by to get it... I was like "no thanks" and I refused to talk to her after that...

You don't need friends like that!! Forget her

Re: Long Vent - Don't know what to do - Baby Shower Related & Friend who didn't show up

The ball is in her court. So I say wait and see. She "owes" you the present. If she was honest about the gift, you will get it. Otherwise, it's your chance to break it off for good. I would not get out of my way to get the gift though. If she gives you the run around, you get the message and move on.

But if she did indeed have a cold, there is NO WAY I would want a sick guest at my baby shower. You cannot take meds when you are PG so you are better off not being sick at the end of your pregnancy.