long winded vent - opinions

Hi all. I am not sure where to start. . . I have 2 beautiful and healthy kids (4 and 2).
For my first we had to go through IF treatments, it took us 2 losses, 4 failed IUI's and 3-4 rounds of IVF. When #1 was about 18 months old I got pregnant naturally, complete shock since we were not trying yet.

Now to today. I was scrolling FaceBook and saw a pregnancy announcement of an old co-worker. This will be their 4th child and it is just bothering me for some reason. I have the same feelings I did when we were going through IF treatments and finding out another friend was PG.
Since #2 was born I have had 2 more losses which were chromosomally abnormal. Again, we were not trying but at the same time not preventing either. I am not sure I am done having children, but the thought of yet another loss scares me. I contacted my old RE and he suggested we re test my immune panel (as this was my issue when trying for #1). Now these tests will cost over $800 OOP. Obviously this is a personal decision and one that DH and I have to discuss.

I do not know what I am expecting from this post. I thought writing it out would help me feel like I am getting it off my chest. Maybe just knowing that I am not alone in my feelings and perhaps a BTDT story.

Thanks for reading.

eta: if it matters, I am going to be 40 next summer.

Message edited 11/9/2016 3:55:32 PM.

Re: long winded vent - opinions

I am not sure how to help. I have not done IVF but I wanted to give you a hug and let you know that we are all here for you!

Re: long winded vent - opinions

I can relate, sort of. I have a DS from many years of infertility treatments and pregnancy losses. We went through immune protocols as well, so I get what you're saying about the high $$ of that workup.

I think if you're committed to trying, it may be worth your while to spend the $800 for testing. Consider it an investment in your emotional wellbeing knowing you're doing what you can and perhaps finding answers.

long winded vent - opinions

I completely understand where you're coming from. With this pregnancy we dealt with infertility for 2.5 years and now I'm 29 weeks pregnant. We are obviously thrilled to be expecting and when I was going through infertility I thought if I could just have a child I would feel so much better but I find the feelings of going through IF never really leave you. I had someone recently tell me that if we just relaxed we would have gotten pregnant on our own. Now mind you this person has4 kids and got pregnant easily with all.inside I felt like cursing her out but since that's inappropriate I just smiled and nodded. So I understand how that post on Facebook rubbed you the wrong way. I'm sorry you feel that way and glad you can vent here about it!

long winded vent - opinions

I can relate 100%.
My DS was born 5 years ago and was a preemie. I felt cheated out of my pregnancy and very much wanted to have another as soon as possible. Unfortunately a lot was going on in my life then and it just didn't happen. Now 5 years has gone by and I still want another. Every time I see a friend or even a friend of a friend that is pregnant, my heart breaks a little more. I am going to be 44 and would give anything to have another but am not sure I am physically able to go through the process again. Not having another is one of the biggest regrets in my life right now. I spoke to my husband about it the other day and though he would like another as well he is not sure he is ready to start over again either.