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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
i've announce that i'm sooooo happy for my cousin who got engaged in october.
from the beginning, the plans were a wedding in october 08. perfect! i really want to be there (she lives in miami - i live in nj) and october 08 gives me time to plan.
last week, i get a text message from the bride-to-be stating that the new wedding date is 7-5-08!!!
that doesn't give me much time to plan a trip to florida (with a new job and little vacation time) for my family of three. my mom has stated that she's not going to be able to make it (she's a bit upset about it all)
bride-to-be was a bm in my wedding and we're like sisters. i don't know if i can afford a trip with that short notice.
a thought that crossed my mind is for me to go by myself and leave dh/ds home for the weekend.
i'm a little bothered that she's so matter-of-fact with the change of plans i need to make to be there....NOTE: it's going to be a SMALL wedding.
i'm bothered because i DO want to be there.
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Posted 4/17/08 10:01 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
If you can go, but can't afford for your DS and DH to go, then I'd go. If it's a weekend wedding and it's only in FL, you shouldn't have to take more than a half day or a day at the most off from work.
I know how difficult it is to try to schedule a wedding around the schedule of family and friends -- sometimes, there are reasons that can't be done.
I'm sure since it's a destination wedding, she will understand if people legitimately cannot make it. If you can't make it, just explain it to her. If you can make it, then go.
I know it's frustrating, but there could be a really good reason she had to change the planned date. (I agree it's short notice for a destination wedding, though!!)
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| Posted 4/17/08 10:04 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by Kara
If you can go, but can't afford for your DS and DH to go, then I'd go. If it's a weekend wedding and it's only in FL, you shouldn't have to take more than a half day or a day at the most off from work.
I know how difficult it is to try to schedule a wedding around the schedule of family and friends -- sometimes, there are reasons that can't be done.
I'm sure since it's a destination wedding, she will understand if people legitimately cannot make it. If you can't make it, just explain it to her. If you can make it, then go.
I know it's frustrating, but there could be a really good reason she had to change the planned date. (I agree it's short notice for a destination wedding, though!!)
I agree with this word-for-word!
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| Posted 4/17/08 10:05 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
I'd be a little eh about it but would understand there's nothing I can do about the date.
It's the Saturday of a three day weekend so it's a doable trip without taking days off and going to Florida in the summer is not as expensive as other times of the year.
For someone I am so close to, I would do my best to swing it, even if I had to go by myself.
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| Posted 4/17/08 10:15 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
OK - I gotta ask - do you think the reason the date was moved is because... 
as to the answer - you have to do right by you - if you can't swing it - let her know, and that's the way it is
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| Posted 4/17/08 10:20 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
OK - I gotta ask - do you think the reason the date was moved is because...
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HER! 
she is not expecting.
i will do all i can to be there. i'm not so upset about her changing the date, as i am at her not really caring that this has thrown a monkey wrench into my plans to be able to be there for her without it making it too hard on me.
she is like a sister to me and i will do my VERY BEST to be there for her. i just wanted to put my emotions in check and not accuse her of being a bridezilla inappropriately 
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| Posted 4/17/08 10:36 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by libby2595
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
OK - I gotta ask - do you think the reason the date was moved is because...
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HER!
she is not expecting.
i will do all i can to be there. i'm not so upset about her changing the date, as i am at her not really caring that this has thrown a monkey wrench into my plans to be able to be there for her without it making it too hard on me.
she is like a sister to me and i will do my VERY BEST to be there for her. i just wanted to put my emotions in check and not accuse her of being a bridezilla inappropriately
i'm sorry - but when a date gets moved up like that - that's the natural thought 
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| Posted 4/17/08 10:40 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
i don't mean this rudely at all so please don't take it that way--but it's not about you or your plans. it's her wedding and i'm sure she knows people probably can't come with such short notice. but for whatever reason, she has moved it up because it's right for them.
it's totally understandable to be upset--i would be too. but it's up to her to make her own decisions. be supportive and do your best to be there, but i'm sure she will understand if you can't. 
you can still visit her and her new DH in october and have a mini celebration with just you guys!
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| Posted 4/17/08 4:38 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by browneyedgirl
i don't mean this rudely at all so please don't take it that way--but it's not about you or your plans. it's her wedding and i'm sure she knows people probably can't come with such short notice. but for whatever reason, she has moved it up because it's right for them.
it's totally understandable to be upset--i would be too. but it's up to her to make her own decisions. be supportive and do your best to be there, but i'm sure she will understand if you can't.
you can still visit her and her new DH in october and have a mini celebration with just you guys!
ITA with this.
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| Posted 4/17/08 4:40 PM |
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CaMacho
Sisters :)
Member since 7/06 15112 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
DH and I just went through something like this...
DH's best friend had his wedding on Easter sunday in AZ. The flights were so expensive that weekend since it was Easter so we decided that DH would go by himself. We saved a ton of $$ by me not going. I really wanted to be there but we're buying a house, holiday weekend prices were ridiculous for everything (hotel, rental car, flight), we didn't have too much notice, etc. Do what you have to do, but i'd try to be there... even if it's just you that goes.
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| Posted 4/17/08 4:46 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
I see where you are coming from, but I think that 5 months is still plenty of time to plan a trip to Florida- whether its just your or your whole family that is going. That should give you plenty of time to plan. Its not like she moved the date up to next month.
Every couple has to do what works for them, and you need to be understanding of that.
Message edited 4/17/2008 5:01:09 PM.
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| Posted 4/17/08 4:46 PM |
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by Shelly
I see where you are coming from, but I think that 5 months is still plenty of time to plan a trip to Florida- whether its just your or your whole family that is going. That should give you plenty of time to plan. Its not like she moved the date up to next month.
Every couple has to do what works for them, and you need to be understanding of that.
ITA
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| Posted 4/17/08 7:52 PM |
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dreamworld06
LIF Adult
Member since 2/07 1341 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Although you might be annoyed that she changed the date, if you guys are really close I would try to go (even if only you can go). While the bride and groom have to think about their guests, they can't always make everyone happy. When I got married, I had a friend (with a years notice) who wasn't willing to take the trip from Florida to NY and I was very disappointed. She'll be happy if you're able to make it.
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| Posted 4/17/08 7:56 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Maybe she thought 7/5 would be easier for people, because of the holiday, even though it is less notice.
Are you in the wedding? If you are, then I can see that she should have phrased it differently, even if she had no intention of wavering---but at least say that she knew you agreed to be in her wedding in October, but she hopes you can still make it in July.
If you are just a guest (despite how close you are), her matter of factness is more understandable. Sometimes, you just have to put up that wall, because if you start taking other people into consideration, everybody but you will be running the show.
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| Posted 4/17/08 8:27 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by Shelly
I see where you are coming from, but I think that 5 months is still plenty of time to plan a trip to Florida- whether its just your or your whole family that is going. That should give you plenty of time to plan. Its not like she moved the date up to next month.
Every couple has to do what works for them, and you need to be understanding of that.
I think it's only 3 months away??  Flights to FL seem pretty pricey right now for some reason. I see why you're annoyed. She should have told you sooner, but I guess she probably told you asap? I think she should understand how hard you're trying to be there. Hopefully you can work it out. 
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| Posted 4/17/08 8:28 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
I understand why you're upset, but I also see it from their perspective. it is their wedding - and like you said, it's small.
hopefully you will all be able to attend.
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| Posted 4/17/08 8:33 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
It personally wouldn't bother me at all. October is a very popular and expensive time of year to get married. I would bet that she got a much better deal by booking a date only 5 months off- and who can fault her for trying to save some money. If I were you I would try to make it happen, even if you have to go alone. I honestly don't see the big deal in her changing the date or not taking you into account when deciding to do so.
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| Posted 4/17/08 9:38 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
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Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: might this bother you?? kind of wedding related
Posted by Christine
I'd be a little eh about it but would understand there's nothing I can do about the date.
It's the Saturday of a three day weekend so it's a doable trip without taking days off and going to Florida in the summer is not as expensive as other times of the year.
For someone I am so close to, I would do my best to swing it, even if I had to go by myself.
ditto. if i really wanted to be there, i'd find a way to make it happen.
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| Posted 4/17/08 9:54 PM |
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