Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Ok, so i guess this is all starting to hit me now..
Im gonna have 2 tiny ones, (12 months apart if im LUCKY and make it to my due date) and my oldest who plays competetive baseball (now one weekend a month out of state)

How the H E L L do you do it?!?!?!

Ok, so, like, how do you get them in the car? The lil ones i mean..one obviously has to stay inside, SO WHICH ONE IS IT??..and what about getting them out of the car?? Does one of them sit alone in the driveway, and which one?!?! Like now, if its raining or cold, i feel like im never gonna leave the house again :(

Nursing..how am i supposed to nurse this poor lil thing, when my dd is climbing all over me, wanting the same attention?? Shes so lil she could never understand, and im starting to feel so overwhelmingly guilty..

Bathing..Am i supposed to do them at different times of day? Once Melania gets out of her bath, she knows its bottle and bedtime..how am i gonna put him in the bath while im putting her to sleep??
Dh helps ALOT but hes a coach, and doesnt get home till 8:30 or later most nites, and works all day saturday as well..
i just feel so alone, and so overwhelmed..

My dh keeps saying, if theres anyone he thinks can do it, its me..but im glad HES so confident in me..im not

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

I have no advice since I only have one but as overwhelming as it may seem, I'm sure you'll fall into a routine and get a handle on it rather quickly!!

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

I don't have any advice either- but i'm sure you'll be awesome!

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Posted by MommyAgain

Ok, so i guess this is all starting to hit me now..
Im gonna have 2 tiny ones, (12 months apart if im LUCKY and make it to my due date) and my oldest who plays competetive baseball (now one weekend a month out of state)

How the H E L L do you do it?!?!?!

Ok, so, like, how do you get them in the car? The lil ones i mean..one obviously has to stay inside, SO WHICH ONE IS IT??..and what about getting them out of the car?? Does one of them sit alone in the driveway, and which one?!?! Like now, if its raining or cold, i feel like im never gonna leave the house again :(

Nursing..how am i supposed to nurse this poor lil thing, when my dd is climbing all over me, wanting the same attention?? Shes so lil she could never understand, and im starting to feel so overwhelmingly guilty..

Bathing..Am i supposed to do them at different times of day? Once Melania gets out of her bath, she knows its bottle and bedtime..how am i gonna put him in the bath while im putting her to sleep??
Dh helps ALOT but hes a coach, and doesnt get home till 8:30 or later most nites, and works all day saturday as well..
i just feel so alone, and so overwhelmed..

My dh keeps saying, if theres anyone he thinks can do it, its me..but im glad HES so confident in me..im not

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Posted by Alex110879

Posted by MommyAgain

Ok, so i guess this is all starting to hit me now..
Im gonna have 2 tiny ones, (12 months apart if im LUCKY and make it to my due date) and my oldest who plays competetive baseball (now one weekend a month out of state)

How the H E L L do you do it?!?!?!

Ok, so, like, how do you get them in the car? The lil ones i mean..one obviously has to stay inside, SO WHICH ONE IS IT??..and what about getting them out of the car?? Does one of them sit alone in the driveway, and which one?!?! Like now, if its raining or cold, i feel like im never gonna leave the house again :(

Nursing..how am i supposed to nurse this poor lil thing, when my dd is climbing all over me, wanting the same attention?? Shes so lil she could never understand, and im starting to feel so overwhelmingly guilty..

Bathing..Am i supposed to do them at different times of day? Once Melania gets out of her bath, she knows its bottle and bedtime..how am i gonna put him in the bath while im putting her to sleep??
Dh helps ALOT but hes a coach, and doesnt get home till 8:30 or later most nites, and works all day saturday as well..
i just feel so alone, and so overwhelmed..

My dh keeps saying, if theres anyone he thinks can do it, its me..but im glad HES so confident in me..im not

i do understand the ovewhelmed feeling... i wake up in the middle of the night and this is all i think about some times[/QUOTE

yea, see this is my problem..i think ive been having anxeity attacks in the nite time too..i never felt like this with either of my first two..i almost feel bad for this one, cause i feel so lost and unprepared..
Im due in 6 weeks (if i last that long) And i truly hope it just works itself out..

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Well, for getting them in and out of the car, yeah, one of them sits alone in the driveway for a minute or two.
I just kind of grab one, there is no conscious decision as to who gets in and out of the car first. Now that it is cold, I get them all in their jackets and everything, run one out to the car and then grab the other. For going into the house, it is the opposite. Usually one will stay in the crib, or sometimes the high chair while I am getting the other one in and out of the car.

For nursing, in the morning, I'll nurse one while the other plays in the crib. Sometimes the one in the crib will cry or complain, but tough. If I nurse them downstairs on the couch, I just deal with the other all over me. Usually the other will be playing on the floor, but will usually come over and stand up leaning on my legs and whine and complain. If I am on the bed with DH or something, sometimes the one who is not nursing will pull the other's hair or smack them in the head, but the nursing baby doesn't seem to care. They are used to it by now.

Bathtime, they get bathed at the same time of the day. Usually one will wait in the crib while the other gets bathed. Now that they are older, we are planning on bathing them together soon.
With a NB and a toddler, I would bathe the NB after the toddler is asleep. We have never done bath every day, so they don't associate it with a routine.

Don't worry, you and Melania will adjust and everything will be just fine!

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

I was so nervous about all the same scenarios! My girls are just under 16 mos apart and this is what I do...

1- Ok, so, like, how do you get them in the car? The lil ones i mean..one obviously has to stay inside, SO WHICH ONE IS IT??..and what about getting them out of the car?? Does one of them sit alone in the driveway, and which one?!?! Like now, if its raining or cold, i feel like im never gonna leave the house again :(

I normally bring both girls out at the same time. My older one holds my hand and the little on eis still in the carrier. On rainy or cold days I have taken the older one out first and left the little one in the carrier in the house. Now my older DD climbs in on her sister's side of the car - something she loves and requests to do

2- Nursing..how am i supposed to nurse this poor lil thing, when my dd is climbing all over me, wanting the same attention?? Shes so lil she could never understand, and im starting to feel so overwhelmingly guilty..
This has proven to be easier than I ever imagined it would be. I asked an aunt what she had done and she said she read a ton of books to the older one while nursing the younger one. I did the same thing. There have been times when DD has climbed all over me and the baby but most of the time she could care less and once in a while she BFs her own baby - LOL

3- Bathing..Am i supposed to do them at different times of day? Once Melania gets out of her bath, she knows its bottle and bedtime..how am i gonna put him in the bath while im putting her to sleep??

This was the one I was most nervous for. We had such a great routine and it was thrown off for a little while in the beginning until I figured out what worked best. Now I put my younger DD in her rocker in the bathroom while bathing the older one. Then, the older one plays in the tub while I bathe her sister in the infant tub in the bathtub (make sense?). Luckily my older DD likes to play in the tub. There were a couple of times where the little one needed to nurse all of a sudden during bath time so thats what happened - older DD turning into a prune in the tub and me nursing the little one sitting on the bathroom floor.

4- Dh helps ALOT but hes a coach, and doesnt get home till 8:30 or later most nites, and works all day saturday as well.. i just feel so alone, and so overwhelmed.. My dh keeps saying, if theres anyone he thinks can do it, its me..but im glad HES so confident in me..im not
I am on my own most nights for bed and bath time and I cried the night before DH went back to work, but now me and the girls have a routine that works out great - most nights ;)

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Mine are 26 months apart, but my DH leaves for work at 7:30 am and is home at 8 pm, so I really can relate. DD is almost 3 months old now. I am not going to lie, it is hard. There are some days where I feel really stressed out. For the first few weeks I hired someone to stay here to help me. This way I could heal from my c/s. I also put DS in pre-school. He started at age 2. He will be 29 months on the first. This way he could be social and get out of the house. This was so important b/c I felt like we were cooped up inside for the first 6 weeks.

There are days we do more and days we do less.

Our general schedule is:
6:30 am nurse DD
7:00 am DS wakes up, brushes teeth
7:00 am new diapers for both
7:15 am DS has breakfast with DH
7:30 am I have breakfast
7:45 am I shower
7:45 am DS watches sesame street on TIVO, DD is in the bouncer in the bathroom with me.
8:30 am get everyone dressed, hair and make up done for me too
9:00 am DS preschool M,W,F. DD naps in the car
9:45 am home with DD nurse her.
10:15 am laundry/ play with DD, Tummy time, dolls, exersaucer, swing, bouncer, motion toys, music toys, stuffed animals, dancing, singing, talking, reading to her. I change it up. Quick nursing before leaving. DD will usually nap in the car.
11:10 leave to pick up DS.
11:45 pick up DS
12:00 lunch
12:15 nurse DD
12:45 play time with both kids, reading, art projects, play dough, dancing, legos, cars, etc. OR errands
2:00 nurse DD
2:00-4:30 nap time for DS
2:45-4:30 nap time for DD
4:30 I let DS watch a tv show. I nurse DD
5:00 start to prepare dinner and if I can I let DS help me. Otherwise he will play with his toys.
6:00 dinner
6:10 I nurse DD
6:30 I clean up from dinner and he plays with his toys.
7: 00 we clean up his toys
7:30 bath for DS. DD is in the bouncer, or if I am lucky, DH will be home and watch her while he eats dinner.
7:45 brush teeth, pjs, dry hair, in bed. Read stories.
8:00 DS is in bed. Sometimes he is up until 8:30 if DH is late, I will let him stay up to say good night. I nurse DD
8:30 DD gets a bath
9:00 nurse DD to try to get her sleepy.
struggle to have her get to sleep - she is not a good sleeper.
10 pm. I relax a minute.
Talk to DH, see how his day went, watch tv, play on the computer.
I sometimes have to get up at 3 or 4 to nurse DD. She is getting better at STTN.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays we have play dates or errands. Starting in January we will have music class on Thursdays.
I am also looking for a part time job. If I can find one, then they will be in day care for two or three days a week or half days depending upon what I find.

Ok, so, like, how do you get them in the car?

I can see my car from my front door. They are usually both asleep from the car ride. I have DD in the infant seat. I will take DD in. I lock the car. I open the house, put DD down in the front entry. Take keys open car, carry DS into the house. Since DD is still in the infant car seat, I feel like she is safe there. DS can open my front door, so I keep him in the car. I get the packages and bags last.

Nursing..how am i supposed to nurse this poor lil thing, when my dd is climbing all over me, wanting the same attention??
That is hard. I read to DS while nursing DD. I let him snuggle next to us.
Shes so lil she could never understand, and im starting to feel so overwhelmingly guilty..

Bathing..Am i supposed to do them at different times of day? I do them one at a time. I give DD a bath once DH is home.

Message edited 12/26/2009 10:27:48 PM.

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Posted by MommyAgain

Posted by Alex110879

Posted by MommyAgain

Ok, so i guess this is all starting to hit me now..
Im gonna have 2 tiny ones, (12 months apart if im LUCKY and make it to my due date) and my oldest who plays competetive baseball (now one weekend a month out of state)

How the H E L L do you do it?!?!?!

Ok, so, like, how do you get them in the car? The lil ones i mean..one obviously has to stay inside, SO WHICH ONE IS IT??..and what about getting them out of the car?? Does one of them sit alone in the driveway, and which one?!?! Like now, if its raining or cold, i feel like im never gonna leave the house again :(

Nursing..how am i supposed to nurse this poor lil thing, when my dd is climbing all over me, wanting the same attention?? Shes so lil she could never understand, and im starting to feel so overwhelmingly guilty..

Bathing..Am i supposed to do them at different times of day? Once Melania gets out of her bath, she knows its bottle and bedtime..how am i gonna put him in the bath while im putting her to sleep??
Dh helps ALOT but hes a coach, and doesnt get home till 8:30 or later most nites, and works all day saturday as well..
i just feel so alone, and so overwhelmed..

My dh keeps saying, if theres anyone he thinks can do it, its me..but im glad HES so confident in me..im not

i do understand the ovewhelmed feeling... i wake up in the middle of the night and this is all i think about some times[/QUOTE

yea, see this is my problem..i think ive been having anxeity attacks in the nite time too..i never felt like this with either of my first two..i almost feel bad for this one, cause i feel so lost and unprepared..
Im due in 6 weeks (if i last that long) And i truly hope it just works itself out..

i have 29 days left (if i go that long since ds was 24 days early) i am so unprepared... i did wash all the baby clothes and hang them up in the nursery... but really that is all i have done... everytime i think about it i just go crazy....

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

mine were 16 months apart when DD was born last month. i won't lie, it's hard but i'm so glad they're this close in age since i'll be done with all the baby stuff at one time.

for the car--my DS (now 17 months) goes in first while DD is strapped in the car seat in the living room. i won't leave DS alone in the house so i put him in his seat, lock the car door and go back for DD and whatever else i'm bringing. i have an automatic car starter so the car is on and warm. getting them out of the car is the opposite--DD and the bags get brought in first, then i go to get DS.

i can't help you with nursing. i pumped for 10 days and it was ridiculously hard with a toddler running around. i personally could never BF with 2 little ones since my son is so active.

my DS doesn't get a bath every night anymore. it's too much. so that's out of his nighttime routine. we had to make adjustments to his routine and he's fine with it. now i take turns with who gets a bath at night. mostly DD gets a bath during the day while DS is napping or i do both at the same time when DH is home.

somehow, you do it! it's hard, and you have to be willing to change things, but it's doable. the one thing that's practically impossible is grocery shopping since DS is in the top of the cart and DD is in her seat in the cart. there's no room for the food or the bags once i've bought everything! i just take smaller trips with them or go when DH can watch them.

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Mine are 17 months apart, and it's quite challenging!

The car thing- I hold DS's hand while he walks and I have the infant carrier in the other hand. I load the car in advance and leave them alone to do it. I leave DS sitting on a bench and DD in her infant carrier. DS knows not to move off the bench until I'm ready. Then we all leave the house together.

Nursing- I make DS feel important by asking him to bring me stuff while I'm nursing. He also likes to burp DD as well or sit next to me and watch tv at the same time.

Bathing- I don't bathe both kids on the same day. I alternate them so it's not overwhelming.

DH has a crazy schedule and often doesn't get home till after the kids go to bed and often leaves before they wake up. It s ucks, but there isn't much I can do. Make sure you accept help whenever someone asks! If you can get them napping at the same time whenever the older one naps, that's an added bonus!

Also, cooking in bulk and freezing makes life a lot easier. My slow cooker and Peapod for groceries has helped a lot too!

Message edited 12/27/2009 12:26:51 AM.

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

You've gotten some great advice that I can't add any more. But I will say this- the unknown is ALWAYS scarier than the reality. Mine are barely 17 months apart and I had the SAME fears you did. But just like being a first time mom is terrifying at first, we all mastered that relatively quickly and soon everything just "fell into place". The same will occur this time as well. Suddenly one day it will all just seem to work.

Believe me, you will LOVE having them so close.

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

I was worried about this too. I have 8 month old twins and a three year old. I bring the two babies out together and my son walks by my side. I usually put them both in their carseats and lug them out. But I can also put one in a sling and carry the other. I wont say it is eay getting out of the house but it just becomes a routine.

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

In your situation. I would get baby into the infant seat and take Melania to the car-strap her in and run back for the baby, then buckle him in and you're good to go.

Baths-I always bathed them together ince they got into the tub. In our case-I would probably bathe the newborn when M is sleeping and make bath time for her a special time. Looking back on it now the newborn days were easiest as they would sleep so much and you could also lay them somewhere and they wouldn't move.

Make sure you have a good sling that way you can sling the baby and still tend to M. It will all work out. She will probably freak in the beginning but she will adjust. Look at it that is way-I feel like my kids are getting a head start on sharing..

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

thank u ladies

Re: Moms of dc's 11-15 months apart, OR TWINS...some nerve wracking questions....

Jaime, thanks for asking this...mine are going to be 18 mos. apart and I'm starting to have a nervous breakdown just thinking about it