moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

Ok plese dont think i have so much extra time on my hands that i can think about this all thetime but i was just watching some daytime talk shows i had recorded and a few of the shows involved women who were preggo with low life cheating husbands or boyfriends etc. I felt for these girls but it got me thinking..can you and how do you prevent your daughters from ending up in situations like this. In particular this guy had a baby he never met in one state , then he had an ex girlfriend who he never married with 4 kids and then he married a girl got her pregnat but was still with the mother of his 4 kids. It was a mess.

I know i have many many years to worrry about this BUT i wonder when does it start? When do you start to instill in your daughters not to end up with guys who are no good.

EDITED TO ADD: not saying he was no good becasue he had alot of kids saying he no god b/c he didnt support any of them and he was a cheater and liar!

Toughts.

Message edited 2/21/2007 2:40:40 PM.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I think a lot of it is a self esteem issue for those women. I'm not saying if your DH/boyfriend cheated on you, it's self esteem. It's if you're willing to accept crumbs, many times that's all you'll get.

There are many articles on how self-esteem is developed, the role sports play, not praising your children for the right answer vs praising them for their efforts toward trying, etc.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I dont' think it's something you teach your daughters about guys.

I think it's totally to raise them with good self confidence, high independence, and great self esteem. ALso, a open line on non critism non judging line of communication with her parents.

If they have the above 4 , I think they have to tools to tell the no good boys to take a walk I deserve much better.

Once have that the lines of communication open with parents, you can then tell them how a boy should treat you, but without self confindence, self esteem and independence, she may not be able to stick up for herself.

This is how i was raised and how i plan on raising my daughters. I could tell my parents anything, and nothing was taboo in my family.

Message edited 2/21/2007 2:49:25 PM.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

Posted by sweetness

I dont' think it's something you teach your daughters about guys.

I think it's totally to raise them with good self confidence, high independence, and great self esteem. ALso, a open line on non critism non judging line of communication with her parents.

If they have the above 4 , I think they have to tools to tell the no good boys to take a walk I deserve much better.

Once have that the lines of communication open with parents, you can then tell them how a boy should treat you, but without self confindence, self esteem and independence, she may not be able to stick up for herself.

This is how i was raised and how i plan on raising my daughters. I could tell my parents anything, and nothing was taboo in my family.

I had a great relationship with my Mom; could tell her anything. I'm hoping my relationship with my daughter is the same.

One of the reasons I wanted the divorce is because I didn't want her to see the daily dysfunction in my relationship and then eventually seek out a similiar relationship herself. This is one of my biggest fears as a mother w/a girl (along with the fear that she'll meet someone who will physically hurt her, etc.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

Posted by Ambersmom
One of the reasons I wanted the divorce is because I didn't want her to see the daily dysfunction in my relationship and then eventually seek out a similiar relationship herself. This is one of my biggest fears as a mother w/a girl (along with the fear that she'll meet someone who will physically hurt her, etc.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I agree with the APs but I also think she'll learn from example. A lot is taught by how she sees her female role models being treated by the men in their life and interacting with them, ie mother and father, grandparents, aunts and uncles, but primarily how daddy treats mommy.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I don't worry because I know I will instill good values and strong self esteem in my DD....I mean you don't get a name like Animal for nothing

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

Posted by Ambersmom

Posted by sweetness

I dont' think it's something you teach your daughters about guys.

I think it's totally to raise them with good self confidence, high independence, and great self esteem. ALso, a open line on non critism non judging line of communication with her parents.

If they have the above 4 , I think they have to tools to tell the no good boys to take a walk I deserve much better.

Once have that the lines of communication open with parents, you can then tell them how a boy should treat you, but without self confindence, self esteem and independence, she may not be able to stick up for herself.

This is how i was raised and how i plan on raising my daughters. I could tell my parents anything, and nothing was taboo in my family.

I had a great relationship with my Mom; could tell her anything. I'm hoping my relationship with my daughter is the same.

I am the say way. My parents really instilled a good sense of self esteem and what I deserved from life and marriage.

Also my parents great example of what marriage should be like.

Ambersmom You are doing the right thing. We all learn from example.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I dont worry as much I just always tell her you better find a guy like your daddy. And she is only 2 months old I think me saying this to her for the next 18 yrs will make it happen. lol

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I think it all revolves around self esteem and where they believe their place is in the world.

As a mom to a 4 year old and 9 year old, I am somewhat surprised by what I see and hear from some other mothers. One thing I find particularly disturbing is sexualizing young girls through inappropriate clothing, hair, nails, etc...

I have found that sports are a great thing for girls. My older daughter has been involved in team sports since she was four and I really see a difference with the girls that are "jocks." These kids just are different and imo a better influence and more directed. This seems to go for the moms too, by that I mean I find I am on the same page with these moms.

It is scary what kids are exposed to at 8 and 9 and I think you have to do your best to let them know who you think they are and what they deserve.

My little one, who is just beginning to understand the concept of marriage, will tell you that she can get married after college and when she finds a man that will treat her as well as her daddy.

Sorry for being so long winded this is just a topic I think about a lot and have very strong feelings about.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I also agree that self-esteem and confidence is key. In addation, I think its important for girls to have a good relationship with a supportive father or other adult male in her life.

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

i think our daughters will learn by watching the relationship between you and you dc. when my dh says something or says something to me i remind him that he needs to stop because as our daughter gets older i don't want her to think that its okay to miss speak to me or another woman

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

Re: moms of girls .. do you ever think about...

I have to say I also agree that young girls should not be dating at a young age. It is just so limiting and tends to narrow their worlds at a time in their lives when they should be experiencing new things.