Moms with kids who DO listen.......

I have such a hard time to get Eddie to listen, whether Im just talking to him, or telling him to start doing something, stop doing something....whatever...he DOESNT listen.

In the past Ive always posed this question as moms whose kids also dont listen, what do you do?

Then I thought, since we are all in the same boat, maybe we could learn a trick or two from those of you that DO have kids that listen (at least most of the time ).

Im at my wits end with Eddie, who is such a sweet, sweet little boy, but NEVER EVER listens and does whatever he wants. So I spend so much time yelling at him bc I dont know what else to do. Weve tried the counting to three and on the third strike you go to timeout, weve tried just straight timeouts, which are a NIGHTMARE bc he couldnt care less that he was there and just yells from the timeout spot.

Im out of ideas.....if you have a good listener, how did you do it?

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

Not sure it applys 100% here but...
Lately, I've been giving DS warnings that something is going to change...
Ex: In 5 mins we are leaving to go to XXX... When it comes to diapers/pull-ups - I tell him Mommy has to change your pull-up, go get X-toy and come here.
Its almost like since its on his terms its okay by him?
As far as acting out - stop jumping - I'm in the same boat.

Message edited 8/17/2010 11:56:14 AM.

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

Talk to Janice-her son Josh is a dream. She must have some hints.

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

People ask me a lot why my kids are so good... I don't see it of course. But I do the same as you so I guess I have nothing to offer. I don't let them get away with much. I really can't when they do something they get punished. they lose something. They spend time in their bedroom. Your son is a little younger though. It only started working with my 4 yo recently before she would cry cry cry the whole time and she is really cute so she got out of it most of the time. I think my girls "know" when they have reached their limit of being not so good and since I am outnumber x 4 they just listen. Eventually....

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

My DS listens most of the time, but he is 2 and will still do what he wants or ignore me at times.

Two things that work for me are:
1.) Consistency and routine. I notice that with my son, he seems to remember everything I do. I think he behaves better in situations when he knows what to expect from me.

2.) When he wants something, I use "first this....then this." For example, he wants a cookie, I want to put his shoes on to go out. I say, "first your shoes go on, then you can have a cookie." It seems to help us avoid having meltdowns and both of us get what we want.

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

I have a "half the time" listener so I can't help you there.

But I WAS a listener myself. What did it? FEAR and the "DEATH STARE". Mom, may she rest in peace, could cut you in half with that look.

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

Message edited 8/17/2010 12:07:43 PM.

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

There are immediate consequences for everything they do. For example: If the child is playing with a toy and I ask them to do something. If they don't listen immediately, the toy gets taken away forever. Yes, forever. It doesn't take long before they understand.

Writing it out makes it sound harsh, but I feel like if they don't listen for small things like "come here" or "stop it" they will not listen for big things later... "don't run in the street" "don't do drugs" etc.

My older son gets progressively earlier bedtimes for infractions throughout the day. Summer bedtime is 10pm, and he gets it lowered by 1/2 hour increments throughout the day. That works really well too, especially when he has to explain to his friends why he didn't get to stay up to watch a show because he had to go to bed at 7:30.

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

I know what you mean about it sounding harsh but you know what it works!!

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

Counting works for us. DD asks me to count for everything If I start 1....2...she does whatever she is supposed to do and then says "I'm so quick". If I get to 2 1/2, my voice gets a little stronger, I give the evil eye...I very rarely get to 3.

The other day, DD didn't want me to brush her hair and was crying. I started counting...I got to 1 and she said, "I'm going to time-out, no hair" When I told her she could come out of timeout now so we can do her hair, she still said no. She sat there for a full 20 minutes and went to school without getting her hair brushed

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

I think part of it is just temperament.

My 4 yr old DS is a dream, and always was. No terrible 2's or 3's. I honestly don't think the kid has ever had a tantrum. Listens, at least most of the time! He's also always been a very reserved, cautious kid.

My 18 month old DD is such a little devil in comparison. I swear this little girl actually loves getting in trouble! Throws big tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants, etc. But she's also very outgoing and takes more risks than DS did

Same upbringing, totally different temperaments!!

Re: Moms with kids who DO listen.......

I say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't make empty threats and make the punishment fit the crime. I'd say 80% of the time, she's a great listener, 10% of the time a selective listener and the rest of the time she doesn't listen