Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

did you have mixed emotions?

I always wanted and still want 2-3 children. I have always wanted a house full of kids. As the time approaches and we are starting to think about # 2 I feel a little sad. I also feel guilty that I won't devote all of me to Antonio anymore.

I liked hanging out the two of us during those summer days when I had off. I sometimes feel like a new baby would take that away.

I love him so much I can't imagine loving another being as much. I am sure that will change, but at this moment can't. Sometimes I even get sentimental thinking about it.

Don't know if this post makes sense I am much better at expressing myself orally

Normal?

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

TOTALLY normal and I think the main reason I waited until DS was 3 to even begin really thinking about having #2.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

Well, I didn't at the time, but I do now in some ways.

I never worry about not having enough 1 on 1 time with Katherine since really in any family, only the oldest child gets that luxury anyhow--I guess the younger ones are always screwed then!! So, I never really took that into account.

I do however truly believe that the new baby won't be as good as Katherine is. I don't mean good, behavior wise, because she's a real pain in the a$$ a lot of the time But "good" as in such a character or so much fun or so cute--there's just no way! My DH and I always joke around that the new baby is going to be a piece of garbage compared to Katherine---that is so mean, but we're totally only joking!!

Anyway, not that I know personally, but from what I've heard you love the 2nd baby just as much and value their qualities (different as they may be) equally. I still believe (as the oldest in my family) though, that I am much better than my sister!

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I think your feelings are totally normal - they are the same exact reasons why Michael is still an only child...

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

i probably shouldn't say this out loud but i felt like this up until the day i delivered my second. i asked myself all the time was there room for me to love another! but of coarse there was. love multiplies never divides!

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I have those same feelings right now and #2 was a surprise.

I know in time in will all work out and we will just have more love to give.

I do feel badly sometimes since DD was only 6 months old when i got pg again that i somehow "robbed" her of precious mommy/daddy time.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I still feel this way and don't know if I can have anymore for this reason.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I felt the same way - even after I had Maddie. I hated that he would never get the attention he had and that she would never get as much attention as he once did.

My take on it is that you have a second baby for your first. Someone to experience the same family fun & madness, someone to grow up with, someone so they don't feel so alone, someone who will be there after their parents are gone.

Not to mention it takes the focus off of the first one - because let's face it we're all crazy about our children and no one should grow up with that much pressure. Baby #2 alleviated new mom psychosis.

While they may poke the baby or tell Daddy to return the baby, I think they'll appreciate it in the long run.

(and this is someone who is battling with one of her sisters)

Message edited 12/1/2006 7:22:19 PM.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

xxxxxxx

Message edited 2/9/2007 7:51:08 PM.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

Message edited 12/3/2006 10:30:16 PM.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

This is why I plan to wait at least 2 years before TTC again. I really want to enjoy the time I have with DD and don't want another child to "steal" that time away right now.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I couldnt be bothered... I just had no interest (I know I sound horrible )

I so have no desire- and just the thought of leaving Ryan to be in the hospital to have the baby- makes me sad...




I feel the SAME WAY!!

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I FEEL THE SAME EXACT WAY. Alex is my girl... my first... I went through EVERYTHING with her, there and back again from extreme colic to the most "spirited" baby in all of daycare. I can't imagine sharing my time with her with another baby, and I can't imagine having another with all the personality that she has. I know I complain about it, but I wouldn't want it any other way! I don't know, I think it's that we both went through everything for the first time together that it created this incredible bond between me and her and I know that with the next, it won't be quite the same because it won't be as overwhelming and I won't have as many "new" experiences... does that make sense?

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I just found out that i am PG with # 2 and last night and today i have been feeling a little Down about this. Im worried that i wont be able to do all the nice things i do with DD now b/c i financial reasons, and that i wont be able to spend time wiht her. She is 6, so its been her and I for all this time, im excited, but still not fully adjusted about having another one.
I hope this feeling goes away and gets replaced with excitement. Hopefully after we tell DD that she is going to be a sister.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I think I am more concerned about having enough quality time with 2 kids especially becuase I work full time and time is very precious as it is. However DD is almost 2 and she is now asking for a brother or sister! LOL I think of the positives and how we will be more of a family with 2 kids and all the shared experiences.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I have twins so I can understand all your fears about not having enough quality time with two around. I worry about that all the time. However, my big fear when we think about having another one is will that one feel alone because their brothers are the same age and they will be younger? So that might cause me not to have another.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I am currently prego with babyb #2 and I think about that all the time I wonder how I am going to balance the time with marissa and make sure she gets the attentioon she deserves then I think well when baby #2 is born he/she will be sleeping alot so I will still have the time with my DD and I can make her feel very important with helping me feed baby #2 and bathing baby #2 and all that stuff plus I figure I will leave baby #2 home with DH and do things with my DD and vice versa my husband will do things with her as well so we can each have o ur one on one time with her. I am sure it will all work out in the end

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I totally did. I didn't expect to get PG with #2 on the first shot and so the feelings were multiplied when I found out I was preggo.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I guess I'm the only one that never worried about how to split my time with Nate and #2. I've always known that I wanted a big family. I love Nate with all my heart but I don't think he'll miss out on anything by having siblings. I've never felt like I needed to spend every waking moment of my time with Nate. I think it's important to spend time with others and on his own.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

I thought it about but never dwelled on it. When I found out I was pg with #2 my concerns were whose schedule was I going to go by, the new baby or have the new baby go by Luka's. Or how will I put them to bed. I am so excited to go through all those firsts again with another child and I think you just have to take the plunge sometimes, especially if you know you want more children. I am the oldest of 5, my brother and I are 5 years apart and that is my closest age sibiling and I always wished we were closer in age and I didnt want that for my children

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

The only issue I have is not wanting to be Preggo again. I know that I will love #2 just as much as Ryan and know that I will find the time and love for him/her, I have no problem with that end.... I just wish I could skip the whole 9 months and have the baby. I HATED being pregnant.

Re: Moms..when thinking about baby #2...

Posted by aja

Posted by Stefanie

I couldnt be bothered... I just had no interest (I know I sound horrible )

I so have no desire- and just the thought of leaving Ryan to be in the hospital to have the baby- makes me sad...