My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Ugh...this one! I am surprised I am not an alcoholic!

So, recently, we switched back to baths from showers. The girls LOOOOVED them all this past week. Tonight was the Easter eve bath--a necessity as they hadn't bathed since Thursday. Katherine was playing happily, when it was Abby's turn to join her. WELL, all hell broke loose! She screamed out "It's HOT!" and turned into a cat--you know limbs stiff and splayed out all over the place. Trust me, it wasn't hot. I tried to get her back in; she clawed me. Then she was insisting, "There's dirt in the bath!" I promptly removed her from the bathroom saying, "Fine! You'll have to remain filthy and you won't get to wear your beautiful dress and shoes...you'll have to wear jeans, etc." No dice.

I repeatedly negotiated with her calmly, giving her PLENTY of chances to change her mind and take her bath. "You'll get no cookie tonight;" "You have no bedtime story tonight;" "YOU WILL GET NO BASKET TOMORROW...all your cousins and your sister will be getting candy and you'll get nothing! (She's set to get at least 3 baskets)" She was SCREAMING--but yet, would not take a bath! After at least 20 minutes of this DH had had it and got her into her pajamas and put her to bed. She had virtually no reaction.

SO....HELP! How would you handle this tomorrow? I know I need to follow through, but do I wake her up early and give her another chance? Did I handle it poorly from the start? Now what...help!

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

hmm....maybe try to approach the situation again the morning when you're both a calmer? Before you take her to see her basket, you can tell her that she needs a bath OR shower?!

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

I'm thinking it may be too late to correct the behavior since it occurred and there wasn't an immediate consequence. However, she does seem old enough to understand the effects of her actions. What matters more to her? An easter basket or wearing her easter dress? Maybe both? Find what interests her tomorrow morning and withhold it. That;s what I would personally do- until she showers of course. Flame away but IMHO I would have her sit there *just* as baskets are about to be opened and then tell her she has to shower before participating. Also, it might help to put out everyone's easter clothes for tomorrow except hers and put out jeans and a shirt, just as you told her you would do. It is a huge inconvenience but it's more important to stand firm. What a way to end the night. Good luck!

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

i would wake her up a bit earlier and make the shower happen before the baskets. tell her the EB was there but she is not allowed to get her basket until she's clean. i would even go as far as saying you spoke to the EB and he said that's how it's got to be! i'm sure in the AM when things are calmer she'll be more willing. i would definitely stick to my guns though. for me the non-negotiable items are: hygiene and anything sleep-related. good luck!

Message edited 4/3/2010 9:05:00 PM.

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

We have been having similar bathing issues where Sabrina has refused to get in the tub or if she does get in, she refuses to sit down. We were talking with another couple about this when we all went out to dinner for a parents' night out and the dad said when their kids do that kind of stuff, he just tosses them in and lathers them up and fast as possible. He said they scream the whole time and it is messy, but after they are clean and the next day they are back to normal because they didn't like it.

We have tried this approach with Sabrina a few times and she seems to take to it. She doesn't get any bath toys or bath books and she feels deprived and the next day she is more than willing to take a normal bath.

I would suggest just pushing through and getting it done. She needs to be clean and even if she screams and claws out, enlist DH's help to hold her down, scrub, rinse and send her on her way.

Sigh...if it is not one thing, it is another...

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

I would approach it in the morning giving her the choice of you can take a shower or a bath. Those are the only choices. Not getting clean isn't an option. I wouldn't mention the basket or dress.
I would give her a time limit to decide and let her know that if she doesn't choose which she wants then you will be choosing for her.

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

My personal opinion, and take it for what it's worth, is that you need to lose this one, but learn from it. In the future, don't make empty threats. If you say no dress, no dress, if you say no cookie, no cookie. If you say no Easter basket, guess what? No Easter basket. But the fact that you threatened her with everything under the sun makes it a lost cause in my opinion and from my experience. I find myself stopping mid sentence sometimes if I go to threaten Ava with something and I know it's either too harsh or not possible to follow through on because she's smart enough to know when it's an empty threat.
I would give her another chance in the morning after you all go down and have fun with the easter baskets and finding eggs, etc. to take a shower or a bath and if she still refuses, tell her that her Easter basket (after seeing how wonderful it is!) will be put away until she takes a bath or shower and it'll be up to her when she gets it back since she will decide when she's ready to get clean.
This works like a freaking charm with my daughter. She thinks she's so rough and tough and then I hit her with the fact that it's up to her, and she changes her tune. Good luck!!!

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Did something happen that's making her not want to take a bath? Maybe you should ask her why she's suddenly freaked by it? If she's scared from some reason, could you put on a bathing suit (or not) and hop in with her?

I don't have a toddler yet so I might sound like an idiot, but maybe it will help her associate bath time with fun again....

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Both my 2 have does this to me. The end result is them screaming and me washing them pretty fast. Usually once the water hits there heads they loosen there limbs.

As far as tomorrow. I would do what Rachel said, give her the basket then take it away until she takes a bath. I she doesn't, she doesn't get the basket back.

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Maybe write her a letter form the bunny telling her he is giving her a basket because of her behavior thorugh the year and expect that she will be a better listener etc etc...I def. would give her the basket though...

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

I seem to be in the minority but I would think its just a phase, pushing the limits, and since its a Holiday maybe she was overwhelmed and I would have just washed her down with a washcloth as best I could and hope that next week the phase ends....and if not , take it from there.

But one could easily say I'm a sucker too

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

My rule is:

If I Say It, I Do it.

I always follow through - and it can be harsh.

but following this rule forces me to:

Say what I mean
Avoid empty threats (since I have to follow through)
Choose my battles very, very carefully!

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

I agree for a holiday, I would revisit and set the stage in a way where it will be win-win...

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Can you not put her basket out and tell her that the Easter bunny gave you special instructions not to give it to her until she has a bath?

I know it sounds ridiculous even to myself!!

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

i would just wake up happy and greet her with a smile. kill her with kindness.

I would think she was just excited, took it too far, then there was no turning back.

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Re: My almost-3-year-old is on track to have a miserable Easter! WWYD??

Posted by MikesWife

Can you not put her basket out and tell her that the Easter bunny gave you special instructions not to give it to her until she has a bath?

I know it sounds ridiculous even to myself!!