My family is getting annoying

Me and DH have been trying secretly. I told him I don't want anyone to know because I don't want to be asked everytime we see family members at a family gathering are you preggo yet?? I told him that is so hard for me for people to keep asking me that.

However now my family keeps asking and his also why don't you guys have any kids what is going on. They call me selfish.

And his ( DH) sister is telling him what i need to do to get preggo as if she knows I have a problem. GRRRRRRR I don't want them to know what is going on right now.

Although I have been tempted to discuss with my mom but I dont know. What are your thoughts.

Message edited 2/7/2008 11:12:47 PM.

Re: My family is getting annoying

how long have u been married??not that that really matters but why r they hounding you? just tell them to mind their ow business. as for ur mom if u trust she will keep on the dl than i would tell her. i tell my mom everything. good luck

Re: My family is getting annoying

We have been trying for awhile even before marriage but again no one knew. We have been together for 6 years but only married for 6months we are newlyweds. But because we have been a couple for so long I guess they are like have babies already.

Re: My family is getting annoying

I am having the same problem. I understand completely. DH & I have been together for 6 1/2 years & also married for almost 6 months. We want a baby but we don't want anyone in our business as we try to conceive one. Sooo Annoying

Re: My family is getting annoying

I would talk to my Mom about it. She has been my biggest supporter in everything. I understand not wanting people to know. Joe and I have not been shy about wanting children and so it seems as if our sexual life is up for grabs and discussion now. It's such a hard decision. Try to see it as them being happy for you and when they ask just tell them your newlyweds and you want to enjoy being newlyweds. If you get pg then you do, but if you don't it's ok. I would try to play it more like you're not actively trying, but you're open to the idea. I found pressure with the when question is more about people trying to figure out if your going to have kids then about if you're trying.

Re: My family is getting annoying

DH & I were very secret about it at first & only DH's brother knew & our SIL. We confide in them with a lot of things. Since it has been 8 months, family has started to find out & now it is a constant question (monthly) & everyone has a suggestion or an answer to what is wrong. At first, DH & I use to joke around with everyone about it but lately it has gotten more & more emotional for both of us & it is hard to tell everyone to please not ask.

My mom & I are very close, like best friends & up until January I never explained to her anything that was going on. I didn't want her to worry but finally I was having such a difficult month, I broke down & told her. I am so glad I did bc she is my biggest supporter now. She really can't offer up any advice just bc she had no problem getting pregnant either time but she is my sounding board.

My advice, no matter how hard to try to hide it from other family members, they will always pry & try to "figure" out what is going on. If you are close with your mom, I would definately tell her just bc it makes things a lot easier at times

Re: My family is getting annoying

We have been very open with those close to us. I am so glad that I have had the support of my friends and family throughout this process. They have all been wonderful and if I need to talk about it, they are there. No one hounds us at all. My DH had to have surgery to repair a varicosele so even for those that we hadn't told originally ended up finding out b/c of the surgery and everyone has been nothing but supportive. I know everyone wants this for us and I believe the positive energy is good thing!
I would consider letting some people in on your secret and I think they will stop the hounding and be more sensitive to your feelings.

My mother in law (who used to ask all the time) has stopped the questions and only discusses when I bring it up now. (we told them when we found out he needed the surgery)

Good luck and

Re: My family is getting annoying

I understand where you are coming from. DH and I have been married for a little over a year now, but we've been together for 6 years. When we first started TTC, no one knew. If someone asked I would say "we're working on it". It wasn't until we were having problems conceiving that we let the families know. Actually, my family knew first because I really needed their support. DH didn't want his family to know and is still a little upset with me that I let his mother in on what was going on. I felt bad that my parents knew what was going on, but his mom didn't. It wasn't fair. I told DH if he has a problem with talking to his mother about this, then I will say something if she asks. A few weeks ago, she asked and I told her the whole story. She's been great about everything and I think it has even made us closer. Last Sunday, I had my second IUI done and I told her what was going on. DH got super pizzed at me because he felt embarrassed that we haven't been able to concieve naturally. I said that there was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I am opened about this because if you let people know what the story is, then the questions of "when are you having a baby" or "give you words of wisdom on how to concieve a child" stop, which stops the pressures of trying to conceive. Instead, the pressures turn into support.

If you have a good relationship with your mom that you can talk to her about anything and feel comfortable, go for it.

Re: My family is getting annoying

Married 6 months and they are giving you that much grief? What's wrong with them? That's just wrong.

DH and I have been together 8 1/2 years and married almost 3 (on the 19th) and I would still tell people to mind there own damn business. What if you did have a problem, or were waiting for financial reasons?


I'm really sorry!