My mother just doesnt stop

I am only 8 weeks preggo and she fought with my over telling the family "to early" and know at dinner last night she says I hope the two of you are prepared for me to move in the first week the baby is born(she only lives 30min away) I told her that DH gets six weeks leave and he will be home, her response was well tell him to start it the second week because your grandmother was with me so I am coming to you. Is it wrong of me not to want her to stay and help? Am I being ungrateful? I dont mind her spending all day , but she wants to help at night so I can sleep, I plan on breastfeeding, so not much she can help with therre and I think it would be nice for DH to do it. Has anybody else had there mother tell you this?

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

you need to lay down the law......she is being over bearing. Tell her if she wants to help, come after DH goes back to work

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

Posted by stephanief

you need to lay down the law......she is being over bearing. Tell her if she wants to help, come after DH goes back to work

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

I agree, you have a DH that will be home to help you. Tell her to come when Dh goes back to work if you need her.
Don't let anyone (even mom) dictate whats going to happen when the baby is born.

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

I have read in a couple of books that it's best for the first couple of weeks NOT to have anyone stay over. This is an important bonding time for Mom Dad an Baby.

I also remember that it said to welcome help with, cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping, but to follow what you have been told by Doctors and from recent literature as our mothers and those who had babies before us have outdated methods, like what position a baby should sleep in, and feeding schedules.

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

YOU are the one who will have to put up with HER. Put your foot down NOW and tell her it's not happening. Especially since your DH is taking the time off, there is NO need for her to be there except to tell you what to do and how to do it HER WAY regardless of what you think or feel. I am fairly confident that 2 grown adults who prepare for 9 months can care for their newborn without someone else butting in. Besides, in the first week especially, you just might not want a house guest.

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

I am BF and DH was home for the first few weeks. Every time anyone stayed overnight it seemed as if DS had a bad night. Probably b/c it stressed me out. And there was always pressure to just give him formula from myself so the crankiness would stop. Giving a bottle of expresssed BM was just as bad. Now no one comes overnight (DS is 5 weeks) and things are getting better.

Maybe she can come by after DH goes back to work...then you can have her give a bottle of EBM overnight since it won't be too soon...and you and DH can get some sleep.

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

Posted by stephanief

you need to lay down the law......she is being over bearing. Tell her if she wants to help, come after DH goes back to work

Re: My mother just doesnt stop

This may be obvious, but I'll say it because it hasn't been said yet. Yes she is coming on strong, but thats probably because she remembers how hard it was when she had a newborn. Don't burn your bridges, you are going to need lots of help. So I agree that you can and should tell her if you don't want her to stay over the first few weeks, but do remember that her intentions are good even if her delivery has been overbearing.

Re: My mother just doesnt stop