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APT910
Let It Be
Member since 2/11 5021 total posts
Name:
Ashley
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Being someone who went through infertility, IVF and is now pregnant with twins I find this really disturbing and sad.
Putting 2 embryos in does increases your chances of conceiving but it also increases your chances for twins. If they were so dead set against having twins then they should have only transferred 1 embryo.
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Posted 5/7/13 12:19 PM  |
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MAC222
LIF Adult
Member since 12/08 3860 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
I think they thought because of their ages, they had a one in four chance (like he said) so they did 2 embryos. I dunno, I have a friend who had an oops pregnancy after having 3 kids..and the oops was twins. She described feeling very similar to this...as did her husband. I would rather read this anonymous guy being honest than half the news articles out there. People have kids already born, and treat them like crap..this isn't so bad..their feelings will (hopefully) change when their boys are here. My friends sure did.
He seems like a huge ass baby though. Are we supposed to feel bad that you have a one bedroom? Where were they planning to put baby #2?? I think twins shouldn't be such a shocker for them.
Message edited 5/7/2013 12:43:39 PM.
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| Posted 5/7/13 12:31 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
I don't think this persons "feelings" need sympathy from anyone...I think he is a giant child himself. Why did they even venture into the world of infertility treatments only to be completely upset with the outcome which is TWO HEALTHY BABIES.
He disgusts me.
Another example of a "me, me me" world. Sorry. I don't feel for him or his wife. God help them should either of these babies end up sick...instances like poor Baby Easton..or other babies struggling to get through life. they should be counting their blessings, because if the worst life can throw at you is a few healthy kids you are damn lucky!!!
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| Posted 5/7/13 12:35 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by gina409
I have twins via ivf
I went through hell to get them
I think of the 3 babies before this we lost
This guy is a piece of shit. I have zero compassion for him
This is not about being shocked you are having twins or saying I am scared it will be hard
The things he said are disturbing
Being a parent is hard no matter what,this guy is the personification of you have no idea how lucky you are and thank your lucky stars instead of woe is me
The article actually made me feel sick to my stomach
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| Posted 5/7/13 12:40 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by DirtyBlonde
I hope that anyone who has dealt with or is currently dealing with infertility does not read this.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
I know a few people who would love those babies 
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| Posted 5/7/13 12:48 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by maybebaby
I don't think this persons "feelings" need sympathy from anyone...I think he is a giant child himself. Why did they even venture into the world of infertility treatments only to be completely upset with the outcome which is TWO HEALTHY BABIES.
He disgusts me.
Another example of a "me, me me" world. Sorry. I don't feel for him or his wife. God help them should either of these babies end up sick...instances like poor Baby Easton..or other babies struggling to get through life. they should be counting their blessings, because if the worst life can throw at you is a few healthy kids you are damn lucky!!!
I could not agree more. Also, who has IVF with a 1 br apartment? Where was child number 2 going to sleep? They sound very immature to me. Poor planning.
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| Posted 5/7/13 12:57 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
IMO these are honest real feelings. And this is coming from someone who is/was dealing with fertility issues.
I went through the IUIs for my DS and was going to start IVF when my some miracle we got PG. We were ok with twins the first time if it happened. Am I ok with twins if we try treatments for #2......we are not sure and probably the reason we are not going through it yet.
It's a scary thing when you are probably telling yourself.....nah two wont stick. I think the articleis more about the fear.
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| Posted 5/7/13 1:37 PM |
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Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!
Member since 5/05 8126 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
I'm not really sure what the point of this article was. Sympathy? Empathy?
It's like someone writing an article about their journey to financial ruin because they blew their life savings in Vegas. 
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| Posted 5/7/13 1:51 PM |
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halfbaked
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6937 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
For everyone who is supporting him and saying these are honest feelings and we've all been there, I don't think you're actually defending him... at least not in my eyes. OF COURSE you've all been there. I'm not a parent, but even the thought of being a mother makes me full of joy and break out into hives simultaneously. But you don't go writing articles about how unhappy you are, do you? You count your blessings and deal with the rest. Like he should have done.
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| Posted 5/7/13 1:51 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
"As horrible as this might sound, we found ourselves wishing these twins away."
Real nice. Make decisions and then whine about the outcomes. Wah, wah, wah. I'm over it. What an awful thing to say...wishing your children away.
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| Posted 5/7/13 1:56 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by Disneygirl
I'm not really sure what the point of this article was. Sympathy? Empathy?
It's like someone writing an article about their journey to financial ruin because they blew their life savings in Vegas.
I agree! What is the point of writing this article? I don't get it.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:01 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by halfbaked
For everyone who is supporting him and saying these are honest feelings and we've all been there, I don't think you're actually defending him... at least not in my eyes. OF COURSE you've all been there. I'm not a parent, but even the thought of being a mother makes me full of joy and break out into hives simultaneously. But you don't go writing articles about how unhappy you are, do you? You count your blessings and deal with the rest. Like he should have done.
The first few months after my DS was born I seriously questioned if I ever should have had him. I had very little sleep due to his crying 24/7. Motherhood is not complete joy. Did I go and write about it no.....but maybe I should have. Because then others who went trough what I did wouldn't feel so alone. I know of a few others who went through it and felt like horrible mothers because of those feelings. We are human and I don't see writing about real feeling and fears as a bad thing.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:02 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
A lot of people are NOT connected to a pregnancy. It's not 'real' until the baby is born.
If he wrote this or still felt upset AFTER the twins were born, I might feel differently - but right now I take it as the unfortunate truth of a man who is freaking out about the way his life is about to change. And he's got good reason.. twice the money, half the sleep. But they will adapt, they will adjust. They didn't go through with reduction - he's just expressing his fears. And I guarantee he's NOT the only person to ever feel this way in the history of forever..
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:06 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
This dude and his wife are, in plain english, shittie parents.
They didn't get what they wanted, a girl, so now they're whinning and moaning and being assholes.
I got news for them, in my opinion, it doesn't sound to me like they should have EVER had kids.
What kind of parent says this about their three year old?
"Three years later, we still struggle mightily with a boy who's fiercely strong-willed and seems to inherently know that crying pushes our buttons."
Hey, asshole, he's THREE. Three year olds CRY, get over it, you're a parent. He didn't ask to be born, you brought him into the world, now deal with it.
Message edited 5/7/2013 2:13:30 PM.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:13 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by alli3131
Posted by halfbaked
For everyone who is supporting him and saying these are honest feelings and we've all been there, I don't think you're actually defending him... at least not in my eyes. OF COURSE you've all been there. I'm not a parent, but even the thought of being a mother makes me full of joy and break out into hives simultaneously. But you don't go writing articles about how unhappy you are, do you? You count your blessings and deal with the rest. Like he should have done.
The first few months after my DS was born I seriously questioned if I ever should have had him. I had very little sleep due to his crying 24/7. Motherhood is not complete joy. Did I go and write about it no.....but maybe I should have. Because then others who went trough what I did wouldn't feel so alone. I know of a few others who went through it and felt like horrible mothers because of those feelings. We are human and I don't see writing about real feeling and fears as a bad thing.
ITA.
I was a mess. An utter mess.
I thought about writing about it- because I love to write and it's therapy to me. Would I have tried to get it published for the world to see- no. But then again I don't write for a living.
Motherhood is definitely not complete joy and it's not for everyone.
His article does sound insensitive at times, and the thing that bothers me is that they went into this eyes wide open by doing IVF and transfering 2 embryos.
But I don't fault him for his feelings either.
Everyone has different feelings.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:25 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by rojerono
A lot of people are NOT connected to a pregnancy. It's not 'real' until the baby is born.
If he wrote this or still felt upset AFTER the twins were born, I might feel differently - but right now I take it as the unfortunate truth of a man who is freaking out about the way his life is about to change. And he's got good reason.. twice the money, half the sleep. But they will adapt, they will adjust. They didn't go through with reduction - he's just expressing his fears. And I guarantee he's NOT the only person to ever feel this way in the history of forever..
the way he talks about his 3 year old leads me to believe that hes not gonna be all that happy once they do have the twins.
Message edited 5/7/2013 2:31:08 PM.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:30 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
This not post partum feelings
Apples and oranges
This is looking for genetic problems so u can abort a pregnancy
Look at what he refers to them as free one? Extra
Read the last line
He is more worried about his health and that of the wife than these kids
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:33 PM |
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Even their 3 year old knows they are asssholes.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:34 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
I get that parenthood is not for everyone. But, realize it after your 1st is born. Don’t go on to have more kids and then complain about it.
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:37 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by gina409
This not post partum feelings
Apples and oranges
This is looking for genetic problems so u can abort a pregnancy
Look at what he refers to them as free one? Extra
Read the last line
He is more worried about his health and that of the wife than these kids
You hit the nail on the head!!!
this is TOTALLY different than an article about a parents fears and apprehensions. They sound devastated and sick over these babies. And they went through IVF!!! This is the worst part!! Struggling to have a child...being blessed with two...but they have nothing but awful things to say. It's atrocious to me
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:42 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
This blog reminded me of the other one written a while back from the woman who went on to abort the male twin because they already had a son and just wanted a daughter...I was sickened over that. The way this guy writes I'm surprised they honestly are continuing the pregnancy. hopefully the babies arrive and some happiness sets in...
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| Posted 5/7/13 2:45 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Sometimes, we share too much publicly/online etc
there is nothing wrong with this couple having doubts or having regret - they're probably scared shitless right now. It's actually fairly common.
what i have issue with is sharing those feelings for the whole world to read. Why? does it change his circumstance? no. does it help anyone else going through a similar situation? no. All it does is make a ton of people feel like crap and get angry at him. THis guy and his wife sound like a bunch of self centered asshooles who love to blog about their 'emotion's without considering the impact it might have on anyone but themselves. Did it really make himself feel better to write down how incredibly selfish he's feeling? There was no real emotion here, it was just nastiness.
i feel sorry for their first born, and hope against hope that they can pull some love out of those shriveled hearts for the innocent little boys that will soon be born. And i hope they feel shame in the future for writing this..
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| Posted 5/7/13 3:07 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
This makes me want to vomit. Could he be anymore selfish?
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| Posted 5/7/13 3:08 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Do I think the feelings of fear are very real and to be expected? of course BUT this is kinda what they signed up for...so to cry about it now and say you don't want it is too little too late and pretty messed up. Maybe the twins will arrive and they will feel differently. I sure hope so.
I could not disagree with this sentence more: "having kids is a selfish endeavor". Humanity could not exist if we didn't choose to have children. I don't find that selfish at all. I didn't have my baby to tote him around like some sort of accessory or pure bred dog in show. He's not a form of entertainment or something jus to keep me busy. He is my legacy...he is the child I chose to raise and nurture to continue to contribute to society and civilization in some way. I'm not saying EVERYONE should have babies. It's not for everyone, I get that! But without those who do choose to have children (and it isn't always a picnic) humanity would cease to exist.
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| Posted 5/7/13 3:25 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Wife Is Expecting Twins and I Am Not Happy About It
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by alli3131
Posted by halfbaked
For everyone who is supporting him and saying these are honest feelings and we've all been there, I don't think you're actually defending him... at least not in my eyes. OF COURSE you've all been there. I'm not a parent, but even the thought of being a mother makes me full of joy and break out into hives simultaneously. But you don't go writing articles about how unhappy you are, do you? You count your blessings and deal with the rest. Like he should have done.
The first few months after my DS was born I seriously questioned if I ever should have had him. I had very little sleep due to his crying 24/7. Motherhood is not complete joy. Did I go and write about it no.....but maybe I should have. Because then others who went trough what I did wouldn't feel so alone. I know of a few others who went through it and felt like horrible mothers because of those feelings. We are human and I don't see writing about real feeling and fears as a bad thing.
ITA.
I was a mess. An utter mess.
I thought about writing about it- because I love to write and it's therapy to me. Would I have tried to get it published for the world to see- no. But then again I don't write for a living.
Motherhood is definitely not complete joy and it's not for everyone.
His article does sound insensitive at times, and the thing that bothers me is that they went into this eyes wide open by doing IVF and transfering 2 embryos.
But I don't fault him for his feelings either.
Everyone has different feelings.
that's NORMAL though! it's like a rite of passage. I thought I was losing my mind the first 2 months. But I got through it. It's still not always peaches and cream we have new challenges all the time but WE GET THROUGH IT! It's called parenting. This guy sounds like he got into parenting with NO CLUE of what it actually entails.
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| Posted 5/7/13 3:31 PM |
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