Need advice for family member -- is she taking advantage of her job's flexibility or am I a cynic?

A family member started a new job last month after being unemployed for nearly two years. It's not the ideal job, but her unemployment was about to run out and the hiring manager said she could have "flexibility for her family" (she has two kids about to start school) and they agreed to ramp up her salary over a period of four months via a bonus -- so she took the job even though the salary is less than she wanted.

She started last month, loves it so far, but the boss is telling her the salary won't increase at the same rate as was discussed. She complained about it today, it got heated with the boss and he said "look at your contract -- it says you're eligible for a bonus -- not that it's guaranteed". She tells her boss that the extra money was planned in her family budget and that her DH already spent the money. She's PO'd so she leaves his office, finishes her work for the day, then leaves the office early and tells the boss her kids "have soccer" but she really left because she was angry/frustrated/upset.

I think she should have handled it differently -- and I'm out of the corporate world for almost a year now but I never would have agreed to a lower salary unless I had it in writing that it would be guaranteed to ramp up after a probationary period (say, 2 mos). I wouldn't have spent the bonus money unless it was already in the bank and I DEFINITELY wouldn't have told that info to my boss - I think it makes her look financially irresponsible and it's really none of his business.
And I wouldn't have left work early today because I was upset - I think she's taking advantage of her employer's flexibility.

If I were her boss, I'd be thinking:
1. She's not able to read a contract and will whine/complain if she misunderstands it.
2. She's financially irresponsible for spending money she's not yet received.
3. She's childish for not being able to keep her private life private and tells me her DH spent her non-entitled bonus money -- ie this is not the boss's problem.
4. She left early because she's angry and is lying about the kids' soccer game -- this will make me think twice the next time she needs time off for her family - especially because she's been here a month but her DH has already had hand surgery, she's taking off for her kids' first day of school next week and her DH also has another surgery scheduled next month.

Maybe I was a mean boss, but I can't stand it when people take advantage of situations -- she's upset with me for not siding with her but I think her boss would be upset with her leaving early today. She said, "What's wrong with leaving early if my work is done and I was upset?" My reply is - you just got this job and you haven't proven yourself yet -- work your tail off and then ask for time for your family. I would never leave work because I was 'upset'.

Did I give her wrong advice? What do you think??
Sorry so long - Thx for reading.

Update (or just a vent);
I'm done giving her advice...She left early last Thursday because she had to drive to their weekend rental out East, then she 'worked from home' (ie out East) on Friday because she said traffic would've been too bad to make it in. She was off Mon for the holiday, went in late yesterday for the kids' first day of school, but she also will be leaving early at 2pm this Thurs & Fri so she can be home to get the kids off the bus because her DH is going on vacation for a long weekend and can't get the kids like he normally would. She just called me now to say she's so annoyed with traffic after Labor Day -- meaning she's going to be late again today!

I'm not her mother but they only have ONE job between them and they've both been out of work for almost two years. I think they both should be doing EVERYthing and ANYthing in their power to hold onto that job.
Sorry - vent over.

Message edited 9/7/2011 8:38:14 AM.

Re: Need advice for family member -- is she taking advantage of her job's flexibility or am I a cynic?

I agree with you.

She is acting like a big baby, and breaking all the cardinal rules you should NOT do at work.

And yeah, also acting totally financially irresponsible.

If there's anything I have also learned through my years of working, that is that there is absolutely nothing guaranteed, especially when it comes to $$$$$.

Also, while some places do offer a flexible schedule, you take advantage of it, and that can be taken away too.

I see this with my own employer.

A job is a job and if she has been unemployed for awhile, she should be counting her blessings.

Also, I have found that it's a very small world out there, and if she burns her bridges here you never know..........the word can get out to other potential employers.

If I were her, I'd $uck it up and apologize and start working late for the next few weeks to make up for my temper tantrum.

Re: Need advice for family member -- is she taking advantage of her job's flexibility or am I a cynic?

Similar situation with someone at my office.

When this person was hired, they were made 'promises' by the then VP. (Different position after a certain amount of time, raise, etc.)

Long story short, we reorg-ed and of course we're not under that VP anymore. So all the promises went away.

Of course this person was upset, but I told them, if it's not in writing you have no recourse.

I dont even believe it if it's in writing, until its in my hand (or if whatever it is has happened.)

Re: Need advice for family member -- is she taking advantage of her job's flexibility or am I a cynic?

As someone who has been unemployed over a year, I'd be so happy with just getting a job that I wouldn't care as long as money was coming in, and that they gave me the original promised starting salary.

Re: Need advice for family member -- is she taking advantage of her job's flexibility or am I a cynic?

Bump for update in OP.

Re: Need advice for family member -- is she taking advantage of her job's flexibility or am I a cynic?

I really hate people like this.

When she becomes unemployed again, I am sure it will also be everybody else's fault.

You really can't do or say anything to them though because of their "it's everybody else" mentality.


Hang in there!!!