Need help - friend had a miscarriage

I am so sad. I just found out one of my dearest friends who lives in San Francisco had a miscarriage. Just last week she called me so excited and we spoke about it. She was in her 14th week when she found out. She is devestated.

What complicates the matter further is she had cervical cancer. She had treatment over the summer and fall and a few surgeries. The doctor told her she has to get pregnant now or maybe never. If the cancer comes back, the next step is a hysterectomy. She's only 31. And even if she does get pregnant, its a high risk pregnancy. She may need bed rest and/or to have surgery on her cervix.

so she sent me an e-mail explaining what happened. She doesn't want phone calls. I will of course send her an e-mail back, but I want to do something else. I thought about a handwritten letter, but maybe that is too invasive. I even thought there may be a book like Chicken soup for the soul on this that I could send her.

Any advice on how to handle this in the most sensitive way is much appreciated. She is such an amazing person. It breaks my heart to know she's in pain.

Thank you ladies.

Message edited 1/26/2008 8:54:22 AM.

Re: Need help - friend had a miscarriage

I don't have any advise. I am so sorry about what happened to your friend .

Re: Need help - friend had a miscarriage

wow, so sorry to hear about this as well. It's so sad!
I don't have any wonderful ideas but a really deep and touching card might help. Perhaps a gift certificate to borders so she can occupy her time by reading. Maybe you know what kind of books/authors she likes and you can buy something yourself.

they only thing that is goign to help your friend is time. It's goign to be a tough and sad road for her now but in time she will get past it and figure out what her next step is. I am sure she'll be trying to get pg again.

Just your words of encouragement and knowing that you empathize with her feelings will mean a lot to her. Other than that there isn't much you can do.

Message edited 1/26/2008 9:01:34 AM.

Re: Need help - friend had a miscarriage

I was going to say a handwritten card with a gift card enclosed for dinner...tell her that it's for her husband and her to get out one night and have a nice time and take their minds off of everything.

I would appreciate something like that if it happened to me. I'm so sorry about her situation, it's terrible

Re: Need help - friend had a miscarriage

Oh god, Shelly that's awful, I'm so sorry I know how excited you were for her - this must be devastating for her on so many levels and my heart really aches for her.

I think sending a handwritten letter with an inspirational book would be the best thing to do - just let her know that you are there for her, and that you know she is in pain and grieving and that she may not be able to talk about it now, but at some point she will, and you will be there to listen to her.

Re: Need help - friend had a miscarriage

I'm so sorry for your friend. I miscarried too and felt very similar. Maybe after everything calms down a bit you can find something on this site that might be comforting to her.


Link

i have a beautiful necklace that I love that I got from a dear friend.

Re: Need help - friend had a miscarriage