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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
11/6 Update:
She has ghosted him. He has tried to contact her to say he would meet her there. Nothing. Crickets.
He was only dating her for a week so does not know her address. Nor does she work that he can go and speak to her.
He wanted to do the right thing and meet her at clinic for support. But he does not even know what time it’s scheduled. But again, all roads are pointing to her lying.
We are going to sit back and wait 8 months to see if she has a baby. If so we will get DNA test at that point.
Lastly. He has taken responsibility. Just wanted you all to know that.
And ii have no
Problem with either of them screwing like rabbits. More power to you. She can have all the sex she wants. Date who she wants. I just have to make sure that if she is PG that it’s my nephews.
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11/1 ETA:
1. They are 21.
2. She had on her FB page “in a relationship” on Oct 2.(not my nephew). On Oct 11 she and my nephew were having sex.
3. A$$hole said he wore a condom. Lying sack of $hit.
4. Yes. I am insinuating she is lying. She knows he might have a bit of money. She is on welfare with a 3 month old So might be “shopping” for a daddy *if* she was pregnant before dating my nephew.
5. I do 10000000% find it suspect that she could *know* she is pregnant 9-10 days after having sex. She can. She can with his baby. She said she took a PG test. No picture nor proof. and then she said she went to the dr. No proof. No nothing. So YES. I THINK she could be lying.
6. It. Takes. 2. To. Tango. She can have all the sex she wants. I have no issue with that. My nephew f’s like rabbit. He will f just about anything that has a hole. He is a moron. He is 50% to “blame” for this mess. I do not under any circumstances “blame” her. They both are morons.
So I just want to be clear iim not “blaming” her. What I AM doing is thinking she is either lying or pregnant by someone else and trying to pass it off.
And yes. He can 100% be the father.
There is a LOT of backstory that I can’t explain nor get into.
The gist is I wanted to know if you lovely women had real
Life experience with getting pregnant and then having a positive test 9-10 later.
And she is going back and forth about ending the pregnancy. The appointment is made (thank god). But she is changing her mind back and forth. And I also stand beside whatever decision she makes. Her body her choice.
With both of them on state assistance, both of them with part time crap retail jobs, both of them (to a point) special needs having this baby is a bad idea. And my nephew will not be a good father. Not at this point in his life. So she will be raising another kid mostly by herself. Which is something I don’t want. I’m not saying he will walk away. He just can *barely* take care of himself.
Lastly. I will not allow him to sign a birth certificate until a DNA test is done.
Ok. Let me know if there are any more questions.
—————————————————
Ok. I need some thoughts from you women who know a lot about pregnancy.
Nephew told me his girlfriend is pregnant.
He had sex with her on Oct 11.
ETA. He texted my husband and said he was having a HARD time climaxing. He could get hard no issue. But could not reseal the deal. He is on anti depressants and other things that are known to stop a climax. But he was NOT ejaculating. Yes there is pre cum...but.
End ETA.
9 days later on oct 21 she said was not feeling well and “I think I’m pregnant”.
1. She had a baby (at that point) 3 months prior. So I know she was fertile myrtle. Bottle Fed not breast feeding.
Questions:
1. If she was BETWEEN her period Could she KNOW she was Pregnant in 9 days?
2. Do you generally have nausea that “early” in being pregnant?
3. Would a pregnancy test come back positive in 9 days?
4. Generally. You don’t realize your PG till after you missed a period right?
We are thinking she might be lying. Or PG by someone else and shopping for a daddy. Or lying.
Just looking for real life experience and seeing if she is full of crap.
The numbers don’t add up.
Message edited 11/7/2020 2:30:50 AM.
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Posted 10/30/20 8:25 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Omg one of my biggest fears as a boy mom. I’ve never been pregnant but that timeline sounds super sketchy. As for morning sickness, it really varies by each pregnancy.
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| Posted 10/30/20 8:30 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
I mean i do think it is possibly, but very small.
I did get a positive 9 days after ovulation (but super light on a cheapie test), but i was looking for it and checking the tests like a mad woman. To most, i doubt they would have seen anything. It really wasn't until 10 or 11 dpo that it was more noticeable.
For all 3 of my kids, i was testing before my period and always got positives before then.
So i do find it out that 9dpo and she's saying these things and is nausea already. That would be super rare in my opinion at 9dpo.
Message edited 10/30/2020 8:49:07 PM.
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| Posted 10/30/20 8:39 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
How old are these people? Fertility def goes down with age.
Overall this seems Very unlikely. Did she even have a positive preg test?
She has a 3 month old baby????? Periods are irregular after a baby and some cramping and hormone stuff is normal as the body resets itself.
Based on info presented, it’s not 100% possible but seems very unlikely.
I hope he gets tested for stds. Why isn’t he using protection? Let this be a lesson. An unwanted baby is bad but a disease with no cure is worse.
Step 1. She needs a pregnancy test and doctor to confirm. Step 2: sonogram will better determine dates. Step 3: dna test.
Hugs and best wishes. I realize you are trying to help a young kid.
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| Posted 10/30/20 10:05 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
No effing way. First of all, without a newborn, unless you were going through fertility treatments, there is no way you would be on high alert 9 days later. She has a 3 month old. There is no way she should be even THINKING she's pregnant 9 days later. That makes no sense.
This is a huge fear of mine as a boy mom. The 3 month old isn't your nephew's I take it? Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.
ETA: I had a positive test 13 days after IUI. I think 9-10 days is early but not impossible.
Message edited 11/2/2020 12:33:18 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/20 12:09 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.
You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.
They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
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| Posted 10/31/20 12:50 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Even if it is possible - DNA test should be a must. No need for him to get stuck raising someone else’s kid.
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| Posted 10/31/20 9:16 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by Funkybutt
Even if it is possible - DNA test should be a must. No need for him to get stuck raising someone else’s kid.
Yes. In this day and age you really can't "daddy shop". He can and should request a DNA test if it comes to that.
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| Posted 10/31/20 9:17 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
I'll just say I absolutely did get a positive at 9dpo. The rest, idk. If he had unprotected sex with a girl this month and she's now pregnant I'd go with the assumption that he very well could be the father.
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| Posted 10/31/20 9:19 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
He needs to demand a DNA test. The natural consequences of unprotected sex can be a baby or an STD. If it is his he needs to man up. If it is not his, he needs to delete her contact info. But really why is he having unprotected sex is the bigger question.
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| Posted 10/31/20 11:32 AM |
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
I mean, i had positive pregnancy tests for all of mine before a missed period, and had morning sickness by that time with my third.
It’s now 20 days later-is she actually preggo? I would1000% get a dna test.
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| Posted 10/31/20 12:57 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.
You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.
They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
This right here.
Does he have reason to believe she is sleeping around with multiple guys 3 months after giving birth, and if so what exactly is he doing with her?
How well does he know her?
Why is this her problem alone to deal with until a dna test can be performed (which of course he should get but that’s not the point)?
No one made good choices in this story.
Message edited 10/31/2020 1:36:35 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/20 1:34 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Let me clarifying that my biggest fear is my sons getting anyone knocked up, Especially someone they barely knew. Because they have no choice in what happens (rightfully so). Just like I am just as scared of my nieces making the same mistake and then being stuck to raise a child by themselves.
I know firsthand the crap that these kids have to go through when they come into this world by “accident”. They are the ones that suffer the most. Which is why at the age of 11, I start talking about protection and the impact of what one mistake can make in everyone’s life.
The OP sounds like she sincerely wants to know if this make sense. People are seriously assuming that the family isn’t dealing with the stupidity of what the nephew did.
Eta: OP just like men walk away from their kids, women also sleep with multiple partners. It isn’t far fetch to question things. Especially if this was a casual fling.
Message edited 10/31/2020 2:03:23 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/20 2:01 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by Sash
Let me clarifying that my biggest fear is my sons getting anyone knocked up, Especially someone they barely knew. Because they have no choice in what happens (rightfully so). Just like I am just as scared of my nieces making the same mistake and then being stuck to raise a child by themselves.
I know firsthand the crap that these kids have to go through when they come into this world by “accident”. They are the ones that suffer the most. Which is why at the age of 11, I start talking about protection and the impact of what one mistake can make in everyone’s life.
The OP sounds like she sincerely wants to know if this make sense. People are seriously assuming that the family isn’t dealing with the stupidity of what the nephew did.
Eta: OP just like men walk away from their kids, women also sleep with multiple partners. It isn’t far fetch to question things. Especially if this was a casual fling.
The OP is heavily insinuating the girl is a liar. And perhaps she is. But she’d already given birth to someone else’s baby before he had sex with her. So, she was good enough to be his girlfriend (which I took to mean not a fling) and for him to have sex with but now that things are sticky he’s pointing fingers and trying to blame her for something they both did.
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| Posted 10/31/20 2:24 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Sash
Let me clarifying that my biggest fear is my sons getting anyone knocked up, Especially someone they barely knew. Because they have no choice in what happens (rightfully so). Just like I am just as scared of my nieces making the same mistake and then being stuck to raise a child by themselves.
I know firsthand the crap that these kids have to go through when they come into this world by “accident”. They are the ones that suffer the most. Which is why at the age of 11, I start talking about protection and the impact of what one mistake can make in everyone’s life.
The OP sounds like she sincerely wants to know if this make sense. People are seriously assuming that the family isn’t dealing with the stupidity of what the nephew did.
Eta: OP just like men walk away from their kids, women also sleep with multiple partners. It isn’t far fetch to question things. Especially if this was a casual fling.
The OP is heavily insinuating the girl is a liar. And perhaps she is. But she’d already given birth to someone else’s baby before he had sex with her. So, she was good enough to be his girlfriend (which I took to mean not a fling) and for him to have sex with but now that things are sticky he’s pointing fingers and trying to blame her for something they both did.
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| Posted 10/31/20 6:10 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
I will say -Yes it is possible to get a very light positive pregnancy test nine days after ovulation. I have.
-It is possible to have some type of symptoms then since your hormones are already effected.
-If he did not seal the deal, I think it is extremely unlikely he fathered her baby. But not impossible. So this all seems unlikely but possible.
From your description, you and he I gather doubt this woman. I think his best bet then is to confirm the pregnancy with definitive proof like he goes to the sonogram appointment with her to see first hand. Don’t assume a sono picture or her recounting what the doctor said is proof.
If she is actually pregnant, how many weeks.
If that adds up, then insist on a DNA test to confirm.
I also wanted to add that is it possible your nephew is embarrassed and is fudging some of these details bc he is freaking out? In any case, I’m sorry your family is going through this.
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| Posted 10/31/20 6:55 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by LuckyStar
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
As someone who was a teenage mom
And also a girl ( well now she's a grown woman) mom, I can't like this enough!
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| Posted 10/31/20 8:39 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.
You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.
They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
Yeah...I am a “boy mom” as well, but also a woman myself, and this whole thread has me feeling super icky. So much for “trust women.” Sounds like he is admitting to sleeping with a woman who is now pregnant. He can and should get a DNA test when the baby is born, assuming the pregnancy results in a birth (which wasn’t clarified here.) I’m shocked by how many people are assuming this woman is the worst kind of liar....
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| Posted 10/31/20 8:47 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.
You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.
They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
Yeah...I am a “boy mom” as well, but also a woman myself, and this whole thread has me feeling super icky. So much for “trust women.” Sounds like he is admitting to sleeping with a woman who is now pregnant. He can and should get a DNA test when the baby is born, assuming the pregnancy results in a birth (which wasn’t clarified here.) I’m shocked by how many people are assuming this woman is the worst kind of liar....
I think everyone said he should get a DNA test. That is not calling anyone a liar. It is just making sure that the child is his.
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| Posted 10/31/20 9:17 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
They only had sex that one time?
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| Posted 10/31/20 9:17 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.
You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.
They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
Yeah...I am a “boy mom” as well, but also a woman myself, and this whole thread has me feeling super icky. So much for “trust women.” Sounds like he is admitting to sleeping with a woman who is now pregnant. He can and should get a DNA test when the baby is born, assuming the pregnancy results in a birth (which wasn’t clarified here.) I’m shocked by how many people are assuming this woman is the worst kind of liar....
I think everyone said he should get a DNA test. That is not calling anyone a liar. It is just making sure that the child is his.
Why would she need a DNA test if they are BF/GF. He should be able to believe her no? So the fact that so many are suggesting a DNA test comes off that people believe she is lying about being with other guys.
Message edited 10/31/2020 9:45:13 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/20 9:44 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.
You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.
They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.
Yeah...I am a “boy mom” as well, but also a woman myself, and this whole thread has me feeling super icky. So much for “trust women.” Sounds like he is admitting to sleeping with a woman who is now pregnant. He can and should get a DNA test when the baby is born, assuming the pregnancy results in a birth (which wasn’t clarified here.) I’m shocked by how many people are assuming this woman is the worst kind of liar....
I think everyone said he should get a DNA test. That is not calling anyone a liar. It is just making sure that the child is his.
Why would she need a DNA test if they are BF/GF. He should be able to believe her no? So the fact that so many are suggesting a DNA test comes off that people believe she is lying about being with other guys.
I was someone who said he should get a dna test, but I missed the part where the OP called her his girlfriend. I will say that it’s hard to believe they are in a super committed relationship when she just gave birth to someone else’s baby 3 months ago.
But other than that I find the whole tone of this thread gross and disappointing.
If this guy’s girlfriend says she is pregnant and it is his, he should be 100% in this with her. Why is this even up for discussion?
There is a lot of context missing from this whole story.
Message edited 11/1/2020 7:46:41 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/20 10:32 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Even though she had a baby 3 months ago and her menstrual cycle is off she is still ovulating even if she is not have a bleed, which is why women are highly fertility after giving birth. I think it is possible she had a positive preg test, and she can be pregnant.
Message edited 11/1/2020 11:28:22 AM.
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| Posted 11/1/20 11:27 AM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
I feel like this is a really gross thread.
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| Posted 11/1/20 8:52 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant
Posted by mrsrainbow
I feel like this is a really gross thread.
Gomm
Message edited 11/2/2020 1:42:15 AM.
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| Posted 11/1/20 11:43 PM |
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