Need serious help with gift giving

I am trying to purchase gifts for my brothers gf's upcoming bridal shower.

she has registries in 3 different stores, but all of them have repeat requests on them.

I have my own predisposed notions about some of the things being "needed" versus "a waste of a gift" (IMO) and I am trying not to think like that, but it's almost impossible.

the pricier items are not things I quite frankly want to spend my money on (she will NEVER use that stand mixer) or is WAYYYYY beyond anything that I would purchase for a shower (a 42 inch flat screen plasma tv )

but every time I get a "theme" gift together from one website (ie all the bedding) I see that both of the other registries have the exact same things on them (just diff. brands/colors)

my fear is that they will get these "silly" items (pancake skillet with built in zoo animal shapes anyone) and not enough of what they really need..b/c everything is tripled.

there does not seem to be a rhyme or reason to any of the registries at all.

it is causing me mucho frustration...especially b/c it is just compounding my frustration about other things...

someone who is thinking clearly....

what would you buy?

Message edited 8/7/2007 12:36:48 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

I don't get why you (or anyone) wouldn't buy bedding or whatever because it was on one or more store registries?

I had sheet sets on Pottery Barn and Crate & Barrel and got both ...



ETA: We also registered for a $1200 stanless steel grill on my Fortunoff registry because it was possible people might want to go in on a big gift.

I ended up buying it for DH myself when he got a new job

Message edited 8/7/2007 12:38:17 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

I would go ahead w/ the theme gift of things they will definitely need.
Don't worry about what other people get them. If it gets doubled, they can return it.
Also, if they get a lot of the silly crap, you can always convince your brother they don't need it and get them to exchange it for the things they really need.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

Posted by Wendy

ETA: We also registered for a $1200 stanless steel grill on my Fortunoff registry because it was possible people might want to go in on a big gift.

I ended up buying it for DH myself when he got a new job

Message edited 8/7/2007 12:42:01 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

That sounds like the registry my cousin put together. It had a table top tanning machine, 3 electric skillets/griddles, 40+ wine/champagne/martini style glasses, 28 salad plates, 4 coffee cups and a dinner plate. No joke.


I would just go with the bedding set or something similar. It's a lovely gift that they will definitely use.


ETA...some of the larger gifts could be for group gifts or something they may plan to buy with the completion program a lot of stores have after the weddings.

Message edited 8/7/2007 12:41:15 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

Message edited 8/7/2007 12:44:50 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

A lot of stores offer tons of incentives and sales on registry items after the event. We're planning to add stuff the day before the wedding so we can buy it on sale after the wedding.

I'd just pick something nice and get it for her. Get her the bedding or theme gift from one store and let it be her issue if she doesn't get everything she "needs."

Maybe they plan to buy a lot of this stuff at a discount after the wedding.

BTW - I DO feel your frustration b/c FH's friends did the same thing. They actually registered for EIGHT of the exact same table cloth. EIGHT matching table cloths... and 4 complete sets of bedding at 3 different stores - They live in a ONE bedroom apartment. I wound up sending a GC b/c I couldn't make it - and couldn't make up my mind. I feel your pain.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

Posted by Ophelia


ETA: they also registered for an outdoor movie screen and projector

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

So, this is your brother also with all this crazy stuff, right?

Maybe you should just ask him what they really want/need and get it for them. Honestly, I understand you not wanting to get them things they don't want/need, but really, they're going to have to learn the hard way.

Be the hero and get them the gift they really want and be done with it!

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

What about their pots ?? Definitely something they will need, but not something most people would 'want' to buy for themselves ........

Do they like to entertain ?? What about Wine glasses ? Beer pilsners, chip & Dip bowls, platters, martini glasses - I never have enough of this stuff !!!

If the bedding thing is aggravating you, just forget about it and move on. - That would irritate me too !! -

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

Go with the themed gift from whichever and then call the remaining stores and tell them you purchased it but forgot to tell the cashier to remove it from the registry. Then they will only get the one you bought Just beat the system!

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

For my shower, a friend of mine put together a huge basket of all things from Home Depot - Cordless Drill, paint rollers, the Benjamin Moore paint index, masks, drop cloths, a step ladder, stirrers, paint trays, brushes, painters tape, spackle.

All GREAT things that are and ADD UP!

This could be cute coming from you because it's your brother who is getting married... Just an idea, and definitely something they will use!

ETA: Oh, I just re-read that they rented a house... forget it.

I agree w/ the above poster who says to ask your brother what they could really use... Or a bunch of their pots and pans?

Message edited 8/7/2007 1:08:39 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

You could do that poem list of household cleaners, and maybe a GC for furniture? Or a vacuum.

Message edited 8/7/2007 1:18:07 PM.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

pots and pans

that is what i really wanted and def NEEDED

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

buy something not on the registry....like an air conditioner or something for the house that they would never have thought of to put on a registry.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

I don't know how hung up you are on it being a surprise, but could you say to your brother I would really like to buy you a set of pots for fsil's shower. Can you tell me which you want and take them off the registry. My sister did that.

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

thanks girls.

I think I'll just call my brother. the problem is, he probably doesn't know HALF of what is on there.

if you could only see these registries, you'd understand. my whole family is .

thanks for your ideas!!!!!

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

In that case I would definitely get them a suit of armor!

Re: Need serious help with gift giving

if someone buys something off the registry it will be taken off. If everyone knows they have 3 registries then the chance of dupes is small.

Get them what you think they need. It will be purchased and removed off the registry.