Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

*sigh*

Yeah the meanie I've spoken of before. Today at lunch I finally got up to ask my other coworker/producer some questions about a few accounts. In the middle of our conversation I hear her so I take 2 steps back to lean out from his office and look down the hall as she's about to finish saying that she's going out for lunch. In that moment she sees me and stops her sentence to finish with "Should have known..." Grins like I'm a silly child was why is she wasting her time. She's like 5ft from me? and she walks to the front door to leave.. I step over and ask..

Should have known WHAT exactly?
Her: "What?"
You said you should have known.. I'm asking, should have know WHAT?!
Her: "Nothing" walks off.

For whatever wild reason it pushes me over the edge and I'm furious. She acts like all I do is chit chat with the coworker "M". Told my coworker in our main office (out of town) that I need a mental break even tho I had planned to work thru lunch on her stuff. I just was too angry. So she tells my boss that Coworker B is being a B.

I get the call. We now have a sit down next week to discuss this and come up with solutions. I had to tell her what happened today and why I think she's acting like she does. I mentioned that a few weeks back I left for an appt with that coworker "M" but didn't tell her ahead of time, etc. I ALSO did sit with B the next day and apologized for leaving without word, promised it would never happen again (because I no longer had meetings with him LOL).

Boss tells me this is a cancer and that I should have said something when it started. Now she says my coworker who I called.. told her buddy who told my boss's daughter and now everyone wants to know what's happening in San Antonio. But.. its not my fault really. She says this has been going on long enough for this to fester and I should have said something earlier. I did mention my OTHER coworker "E" is also put off by this and she said she knew about that complaint weeks ago ... well then HELLO why not stop it back then?!

(PS Got off the phone with her and my coworker out of town called, no biggie, I'm not mad. But told me that another coworker came to visit SA last week which I knew.. and coworker B told her that I just walk out without notice. Ugh and that is what got around the office up there).

So I believe these are the reasons this went south with coworker B, do they sound reasonable?

- We invaded her space, she used to be alone in this office now she's one of 4
- I am a very out going and assertive person. I charge forward. She's more sit back and let others lead.
- I am the new business girl. All new business flows through me so I'm very active and multitasking which may seem like a waste of time to her
- I talk fast, work faster
- I talk to all the producers daily. In length if necessary. I need them to give me info to better set up my clients.
- I work different than her and she may find that to be annoying to watch


My solution LOL Can I just work from home?

I did say hey everyone's allowed a bad day including me. But the issue is that by pissing me off she distracted me and messed up my groove, which ticked off the producer to relies on me for quick action.

Ugh I hate these type things but I'm hoping it resolves something.. but seriously, what can I expect? What should I go in with mentally?


ETA: advice not advise!!! duh

Message edited 9/25/2014 11:03:44 AM.

Re: Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

I hope it works out, but honestly, I had to get out of a toxic situation similar to this.

The higher ups knew what was going on and nothing ever changed.

I feel like no matter what you do, a person like this is a cancer and drives away anyone good.

I also feel that no matter what, you end up looking like a bad person if you get annoyed by their nonsense.

If you can seriously be able to work from home FT that would be a great solution.

Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

i feel awful that you have to go through this. I'm glad that they're trying to resolve this for you. Please please go in with a list of facts so it doesn't seem so he-said-she-said. It will help keep you level-headed in the meeting too... best of luck

Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

No advice just good luck.

Re: Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Can you focus on the co-worker's behaviors more than your interpretation of what she's thinking? Think: she said X, she did Y -- and then explain how her behavior affected your work.

Good luck!

Re: Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Re: Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Honestly, I know you were mad and in the moment, but you should not have given her the satisfaction and said anything to her. Just be the better person and ignore her. If you are as good at your job as you say, your work will show it.

If she is spending most of her time being petty and starting trouble, her work will show it. Your boss will notice.

I've had a similar situation happen to me at work. We were put in the conference room together, I listed my problems with her, and she denied every single one of them and nothing wound up happening or changing. I actually even stopped mid sentence and said that this was useless as nothing will be accomplished. I just ignore her and when I do have to deal with her, I'm clear, concise and polite. Keep it short and sweet. I know she's a moron and everyone else in the office does too. By me arguing with her just makes me lose IQ points.

Re: Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Re: Need some advise : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

I was in a similar situation. I was proactive about it, went to the practice administrator almost from the beginning. I had documentation and witnesses of the harassment that I put up with and was being subject to - it was horrible. I went to ADP, who was our HR administrators for the practice, almost 6 months to the day that I logged my complaint with ADP, I was the one let go (I was also looking for a new job and I think they got wind of that as well). The person harassing me was let go a few months later and they lost A LOT of money when I left. Ultimately, I COULD have sued if I had so wished, and won, but I didn't want to go through the trouble. Getting out of the situation was the ONLY thing that helped me, and I'm so glad I never have to deal with that person again in my life.

Re: Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Posted by Xelindrya

Can we just skip ahead to point where we are civil and cold to each other?

Re: Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

I posted an incident I had at work last week.

It's complicated because my coworker and my boss are married. Don't even get me started.

At first I was angry - humiliated, disrespected, embarrassed - and I wanted to walk right out the door. I didn't because I obviously need a job but also because I truly LOVE my clients and what I do. I don't necessarily love my company, but I love that it allows me to do something that I am good at and truly have an interest in.

The more I started thinking about it, the more I realized that it's my bosses problem. And my coworkers problem. It wasn't ME who acted inappropriately or unprofessionally - my boss is just such a doormat to his wife that he couldn't properly stand up to her and make her accountable. And that's a sad and pathetic marriage. So I figured that if I want to continue working here I'd need to realize that he is a p&ssywhipped jerkoff and at the end of the day he needs to make sure he still gets laid. So I can't respect a guy like that and I can secretly inside think he's a POS asshole loser with a c*nty beeotch wife. I just can't take it personally.

So while I am looking for a new job, I ultimately realized that the only thing I can control is my reaction TO them. I am polite and cordial and that's it. I have to put a wall up, but nothing that would put my job in danger. I can't expect people like that to change or care - so why should I? I will just weave around all their nonsense because it says more about them than me. I will weave around them and not play into their games. I will still come in and do the best job I can and ignore their petty BS.

I was told that our HR was useless and I will get labeled as the problem. If I were you, I would focus on her reactions to you, and that you're a hard worker and you acknowledge that you got frustrated but that you're looking for ways to work together and not have friction. But at the end of the day you may just need to distance yourself from her nonsense and realize that you can't change crazy. Good luck!

Re: Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

For the record.. I love this job.. its stressful but I like what I do and the folks I work with (the producers) and I'm VERY good at what I do. I love the high pace, I like the strange and unusual, the high pressure and love the accomplished feeling of beating the odds. My bosses are not in my office (they are 300+miles away). I love having an office with a door I can shut. I like they trust me and I can control my work product.

I don't WANT to quit. But I don't want to be treated like crap either.

This got to where it is because my coworker buddy in the main office wants me so badly she will do anything to keep me focused. Coworker B is a distraction. So she took it to the boss lady. Boss guy is staying above this fray.

Re: Need some advice : Management sitting down with me and coworker...

I totally get you because I just had to share space with these people.

It's not like I had to even have that much contact but they made sure I did and when I did it was bad....I think it really was a jealousy thing to be honest.

Other colleagues reported the same.