Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

My DS Joseph goes to school 5 days a week for 2 1.2 hrs, when he gets to school he is so excited to see his friends he says "Good Morning" to all of them But there is this one little boy that picks on him and it always when my DH drops him off and he is not paying attention.
1st Example, I purchased a Power Ranger Hat and Gloves when I brought it home he couldnt wait to wear them.
that morning this little boy comes up to my DS and says to him I dont like youre hat, and says Dont play with me and runs away. Then when its time to go in my DH said my DS was crying and when my DH asked him what happened he would tell him, But when I picked him up and when he came out of the door with his hat in his hand I asked him WHY ??? he wasnt wearing this GREAT hat he told me because this little boy didnt like it and he wantes to play with him ... Wait it gets better , today we had a Birthday party which this boy also attended and Joseph had another hat on (i put another hat on b.c i knew that boy was going to be there but i didnt let DS know that i knew he was there) when I went to open the door I see the hat on the floor and I asked Why ?is youre hat on the floor and not on youre head its cold out, his answer was "Mommie (lil boys name) doesnt like my hats and I want to play ???
I wanted to cry can you believe ?? Is this going to scar my son forever ???
I told the story to the little boys Mom and she said she was Sorry and nothing else was said nothing like I will talk to him ? NOTHING ???? She looked annoyed that I said something, I wasnt going to but then when he took his hat off in the truck I was so ****** ...
What should I do to help my Sweet DS and he is so sensitive ??? HELP ???

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

This is the heartbreaking party of pre-school. When someone hurts your child's feelings and there is nothing you can do about it.

We handled each situation differently, depending on the age & the kid.

When Joseph (at 4 years old) came home & told us that so&so didn't like him. DH told him that there are people that are going to like you & people that aren't going to like you. Don't waste time on the ones that don't like you because they're not fun to play with anyway. (Keep in mind that DH was the kid that was the bully from elementary school through high school) Joseph started saying "That's ok - I don't need to play with you." It completely took the kid's power over my son away. Then later he saw that Joseph was having fun with other kids and wanted to play

With Maddie (at 3 years old), when she told me that so &so was being mean, I realized that the girl that she was referring to as the "Mean Maddie" wasn't as good as communicating as the other kids. I told Maddie that she needed to tell Mean Maddie that she would like to play with her but would do it only if she played nicely. We practiced me ripping the doll out of my daughter's hand and Maddie repeating very loudly "That is my doll. We will only play with you if you can play nicely." The teacher reported a few months ago, that the Maddies are friends now.

One tip I learned from one of the kindergarten moms is if your son is being bullied - rather than tell the teacher - say VERY LOUDLY "Stop that - You are being mean." or something to that effect. This way your kid isn't telling the teacher, he's being clear to the bully that it's unacceptable - and chances are the teacher will "overhear" the conversation if it's yelled loud enough.

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

Preschoolers at this age can be so mean! Unfortunately, we cannot control what other people do - and I have to say that although I have yet to raise my own personal preschooler, I know my DH raised his 2 daughters to be respectful and nice to everyone, and dealt with any nasty behavior early on... I think what Barbara suggested are great ideas - I work with kids of all ages - and kids do need to learn to stick up for themselves... Parents need to teach their kids to be nice - not for nothing, but it starts from home, and if kids are being obnoxious in school, its because they havent learned how to be nice from their parents... Just my opinion... I'm sorry your little guy had to go thru that!

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

I just wanted to Thank you so much on youre useful advice I will definetly try them.

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

it breaks your heart and there's nothing you can do about it!

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

Message edited 12/9/2006 11:48:37 PM.

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

First of all alot of hugs to you. There is nothing harder than seeing your child have a hard time regardless of the reason. With regard to bullies, I believe that you have to give kids the ability to handle it themselves. To often moms get involved and than any chance the kids have of working it out is gone. When my older daughter was 4 and having a hard time with another child in Pre K I would role play with her and indirectly give her possible responses to what this kid was saying. As another poster said this gave her the "power". Believe it or not we still do this at 9 and although the issues have changed, it still works beautifully. Good luck.

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

I am going to kick that kids butt if he keeps messing with my nephew

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

Posted by MABLE03

I am going to kick that kids butt if he keeps messing with my nephew

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Message edited 12/12/2006 12:39:04 AM.

Re: Need some advice on my 4 yr old.

it is soo sad, but I I think the best thing to do is to teach him how to deal with it and remind him that he should be friends with people who are nice to him.

There is a boy at Ryan's gym who is a bully and his parents are so responsible, they dont care, and if they do they think its funny. I swear my DH is gonna kick other kids DHs azz one day.

That seems to be the other solution