Need some hugs, having a bad day

Normally my mom and I are really close, I even posted here how wonderful she is, but it seems to me that ever since ive been pregnant shes just out of control with her anger. A few weeks ago she came up to help me pack, and we got in a fight, a stupid fight, over something that I honestly cant even remember now, and she tells me how she never wants to see me again, and wants nothing to do with my baby, and blah blah blah. So of course that hurt me, but I knew it was her guilt trip.

Today, my family is still up from thursday, and dh got hurt pretty badly, my moms a nurse, so she cleaned up his wound, and dressed it, and told him to elevate it, so he did. She bumped into it and he yelled because hes in pain. She asked why he yelled and he said because you bumped into me, and she goes on " no I didnt, I didnt do anything" so he said " yes you did, please dont call me a liar" so a fight breaks out. She storms into the next room and yells back, " Jennifer I am never coming here again, I want nothing to do with you, I hate you, you are a bad daughter, I am never going to see you again" Ok first off lady, this had nothing to do with me, I didnt say one word to anyone about anything...so of course im overly emotional, and angry because she started with her threats again, and honestly I think that is an awful thing to say to your child, and is something I will NEVER say to my child and decide to tell her " so get the f*ck out, stop threatening me, and just do it, my kid has another grandmother they wont be missing out, they wont even know you exist, but you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you have a grandchild that you are never going to meet "

So now I am sitting here crying, everyone is in silence, my mom is out in the backyard, my dad is in the kitchen, my husband is on the couch, bleeding through his bandages....and I dont know what to do

I know this should probably be on the relationship board, but I am just more comfortable here

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

if you and your mom are really as close as you say you, i think you should try and go talk to her calmly. i'm sure you didn't mean what you said, and she didn't mean what you said. try to get to the root of the problem and go from there. I know it's easier said than done! Good luck

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

That's awful. Has she ever said anything like that before you got pregnant? I'd probably come back with what you said if my mother said those things to me.

I'd try to talk to her and ask her why she is acting the way she is and go from there. Good luck.

ETA: I just read your update. I'm so sorry. Someone else suggested menopause... do you think that could be it?

My MIL has been in menopause for about 2 years when we went to visit my IL's in July. She was not herself while we were there and made our entire vacation very uncomfortable. Behind closed doors, she lashed out toward FIL and threatened divorce, when 2 weeks prior, she was saying how much she loves him and couldn't wait for their 30th anniversary next year. Luckily, FIL has the patience of a saint. I think what threw her hormones off balance was the stress of us visiting and spending so much time with her granddaughter. She was perfectly normal again after we left.

If you think that's the case, definitely follow up with her on the phone.

The good news for us is that MIL told me that she hasn't had her period since January. I guess when you don't have your period for a full year, you are done with menopause. So I'm crossing my fingers she doesn't have it again.....

Message edited 11/25/2007 9:56:44 AM.

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

no advice just wanted to send some

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day- updated I tried to talk to her

** I tried to talk to her, and she pushed me out of the way, and left..she and my dad are staying at a hotel, and will be flying home tomorrow morning....oh and she called every member of my family and made herself out to be the victim....she told them that I kicked her out of my house, and that I hit her. So now my brothers are both calling to yell at me....this is exactly what I need right now **

Message edited 11/24/2007 9:40:14 PM.

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

Wow, I am terribly sorry to hear that this is happening to you and don't wish it upon anyone. I can't share my honest opinion without insulting your mother, so I will send hugs your way.

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

Posted by Maybeababyin08



** I tried to talk to her, and she pushed me out of the way, and left..she and my dad are staying at a hotel, and will be flying home tomorrow morning....oh and she called every member of my family and made herself out to be the victim....she told them that I kicked her out of my house, and that I hit her. So now my brothers are both calling to yell at me....this is exactly what I need right now **

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

Just wanted to send you some hugs! Your mom should be especially easygoing to you now!! I hope everything works out!

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

Thank you ladies...its always comforting to know I can come here whenever things get this bad

Re: Need some hugs, having a bad day

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother's reaction. Do you know if she didn't want you to get pregnant? It seems a little extreme and it sounds as if something else is going on with her.

Did you try talking to your Dad since your Mom won't talk to you? Maybe he can shed some light. The only other thing I can suggest is writing her a letter and express how you feel.

Also, I'd like to send many your way. No one should go through this with their mother, especially not while pregnant.