new vent to an old problem....

So, a few months ago, I wrote about my ILs possibly coming to stay with us for a while when the baby is born, and vented about how they have not really asked me how I was doing (only found out through DH). I also vented about my SIL, who has not had a baby, and was trying to give advice and/or was "following along" with my pregnancy so to speak.

Everyone on here seemed to agree that SILs situtation was odd.

Well, here we go again! Lol. I am now 35 weeks and am having some back and pelvic pain. A lot of it actually (part of it is that I actually did pull my back) and now I think I may be having some pelvic issues too.

Last night, I was in SEVERE pain and barely slept. I happened to forward DH an email about SPD, wondering if that's what I have.

Well, he must have spoken to SIL about this or something, becuase he just forwarded me a long email from her about all the possible remedies I can do and descriptions of some of her friends who have tried various things...as well as a link to parents.com

Is it me, please do tell me, or is this the STRANGEST thing......first, that DH is having a convo about this when SIL has not once reached out to find out how I'm doing, and TWO, that although she has never had a child, or expierenced this pain, feels she should give me suggestions.....like I'm an idiot or cant research or wont speak to my dr. etc. I just dont get this....GET YOUR OWN PREGNANCY.....I dont really know what to say about this.....I'm trying to just be calm and sort of emailed DH that I thought it odd that though she has not reached out to me she would give me tons of advice....I dont want to get into a fight-- DH is close with her obviously, but the whole thing is odd. What, are they having a disussion about my pelvic pain? It was terrible -- but i just find it odd!!!

Re: new vent to an old problem....

It was weird to me before and it's still weird to me now. But I don't think SIL is the problem... I think it's your DH! I mean, it's one thing for you to vent to him, it's another thing entirely for him to pass it along to your SIL. And then to pass her messages back along to you. It's weird all around. I'd tell DH to stop giving SIL a play by play of your pregnancy- it's your body and if you wanted her advice you would've e-mailed her yourself and asked.

new vent to an old problem....

I thought it was weird the first time you spoke about it but this situation doesn't seem like SIL's fault. Your DH reached out to her and she was just responding and trying to be helpful. I'd tell DH to keep your conversations private going forward.

Re: new vent to an old problem....

It sounds like DH reached out to her for female advice because he has no idea how to help you and she is offering advice, though misguided, the only way she knows how. The blind(SIL) leading the blind(your DH) lol.

Don't be upset, I think they mean well. Just ignore her advice and move on. It's not really a wise choice or worth it to make this into something bigger than it is.

Create clear cut guidelines for DH regarding what to mention to SIL. You bet when baby is born and he is talking to her about gas, formula, BF, whatever, the "advice" will continue so set the boundaries now.

new vent to an old problem....

Talk to your DH. Tell him not to relay your conversations with him to anyone.

That will take care of the situation with SIL. If she doesn't have the info from him she won't send on her opinion.

Re: new vent to an old problem....

My DH tells his sister everything too. She has had a baby so she does give advice. Don't be too upset she is probably just trying to help.

new vent to an old problem....

I guess part of it is DH, but he doesnt get it. I tried to explain that it would be like me telling my sister that he is having a prostate issue, and she looking it up on the internet and telling him all the things he should do (despite not having any experience with having a prostate). I know DH very well, and he would be defensive if that happened, and not want her advice. I guess I just feel weird about it being discussed in my absence or DH thinking that his sister knows it all (which is another situation all together) and, therefore, goes to her for advice about MY situation. I have dropped the subject with him, but I just think it's weird. :)

Re: new vent to an old problem....

Re: new vent to an old problem....