Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

Just scheduled IVF consult for December with Dr Mullin of NSLIJ Center for Human Reproduction. Was wondering if you ladies who are going through this, have questions you wish you had asked?

Background: My husband and I have done 6 failed medicated-clomid- IUI cycles (probably 10 IUIs in total) before doc put her foot down and told me no more. We are 100% self pay, and suffering from male factor (low count- morphology and motility are good, but count is very low.) I was praying IUI would work and we wouldn't have to go to IVF, but doctor gently but firmly has told me she couldn't watch us to waste money or time any more, and since I am young (28) and our issues are low count, that IVF with ICSI is the way to go. My husband's urologist has not been able to find a cause or treatment for his low count, she says sometimes it just happens that way. We tried for 2 years before seeking help...

We are saving every cent possible, and if we stay on track, I think I could start by February 2014. Without going into debt, I think we could only afford 1 retrieval, 1 fresh and maybe 1 frozen embryo transfer, plus the medications.

Some of my questions are:

-Should I consider Micro IVF? It seems less expensive... But does it work?

-I ovulate regularly and am young and apparently healthy, every IUI they claimed my lining was great, but luck wasn't on our side... Should our protocol be different? Should I ask about which medications and why?

-I don't know the future and right now we have basically 1 shot to get this right, because that's what we can afford. This may be our only chance to have children, should I be concerned about how many embryos to transfer? I think I would want more than one, but see a lot of you have transferred one at a time? Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to be John and Kate Plus 8, but in my mind, 2 and 3 are better than 1?

-Does anyone here see Dr Mullin? I really like her so far, she's quick, but answers all of my questions, very understanding, and I think she gets me. Does anyone else have experiences with her or any others in NSLIJ? 10 IUIs later, I've also seen Chu, Rausch, and Hershlag. I loved Hershlag. They all wanted me to stop IUIs after the third cycle, but I wasn't ready to give up hope.

So..... I was hoping to hear some of yours stories, what you wish you knew before you started, what has worked for you and what hasn't! Sorry this post is so long.... But I hope some of you can share your wisdom with me bc I would really appreciate it!

Re: Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Sounds like at this point IVF is the way to go. ICSI will def improve your chances of fertilization. You did an injectable IUI cycle? That's with IVF injections medicine but instead of IVF you do the iui part.
There are so many different women on here w different issues etc. I out back more than one because of my age and my issues. Some drs won't out more than one back with your age.

Everyone's going to have their own opinions of RE depending on their story. I heard great things at north shore and a colleague and secretary's daughter are both pregnant bc of that practice.
Good luck with your journey!!!

Re: Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

Thank you! I don't know what I'm looking for, just someone to make me feel better, but I'm not sure anyone can LOL.

I'm glad to hear that you know people who have gotten pg from NS... I hope everything goes great for them from here on out bc they deserve it!

I didn't do injectables with IUIs, only clomid with trigger shots on some cycles, They weren't too keen on giving me meds, bc everything seemed to be working on its own, but I'm not too proud to beg LOL. So I begged.

It's tough to miss so much work, so many appointments, spend so much money and not tell anyone. My best friend had a baby yesterday, and I've never mentioned anything, because I didn't want to be a debbie downer during her pregnancy. I finally told my mom after I found out I would have to go on to IVF.

I am reading from a lot of other posts, that at my age, docs won't transfer more than one egg, and I'm not sure I understand why? Maybe I'm getting desperate, but what is so bad about the possibility of twins? Honestly, triplets does sound scary (how do you get 3 car seats in a car?!?!) but not as scary as the alternative of none?

I love my husband and I try to be relaxed and calm in front of him, so he doesn't feel bad or stressed, but I'm starting to freak out. And I'm type A so I really like to do my research and be in control, so I am not in my element.

Dr. Chu thinks I have a 50/50 chance of IVF with ICSI working, but Dr Mullin didn't seem so happy when I told her Dr. Chu said that. She told me to come in for a consult and we could discuss more. So after a couple of months of saving, working overtime, and collecting all our change in vases (LOL, hey, every little bit helps!) I scheduled the consult. I guess I will see, but I do like to hear others tips and advice.

Re: Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

We are 100% OOP, too. That alone is enough to stress even the most even keeled person out. Throwing IVF in the mix -- well, that certainly doesn't help.

We did five IUI cycles two natural and three with clomid. We never did injectables either, because I responded well to the clomid and my lining was fine too.

That being said, when I started my medications for this cycle, we couldn't do a fresh transfer because I over stimmed and my progesterone a week before the transfer was 5.1 and my lining started shrinking. So, we're doing a frozen embryo transfer so that we can get the lining just right.

I'm a good deal older than you, so we're dealing with advanced maternal age and slight male factor. We saved enough for two IVF cycles. We did ICSI both times, the first one failed (egg quality) and we are doing our frozen egg transfer for the 2nd IVF cycle on Friday. My RE told me this morning that my chances with this batch of eggs is 40+%

If you want to transfer two, transfer two. You have to be sure you're OK with the chances of multiples and/or selective reduction if it comes to it.

Don't give up, you have plenty of time to research and find out the best thing for you and your DH.

Re: Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

Good luck to you! I know micro ivf involves less medication therefor it is cheaper. I don't think they recommend it for MFI, but i could be wrong. IUI's are pretty much a waste of money when you're dealing with MFI, so IVF is the way to go. Best of luck!

Re: Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

Thank for your advice! I also got mail from a few of you.... I didn't know there was a NYS grant, that could be helpful, and I will ask about it when I speak to the finance person.

We will def go to the consult at NSLIJ, but we will probably also have a consult at LI IVF, because a few of you ladies recommended them, and their website indicates they offer the Micro IVF, which I would like to learn about and see if we are candidates for. It's less expensive, plus uses less medications, and I hated just the clomid + ovidrel, so I am not looking forward to all of these shots! Is there one RE who you guys would recommend more than the others at LI IVF?

Re: Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

I don't have much advice to offer, but just wanted to send you tons of as you're going through everything. This is a super supportive group on here of some amazingly strong women - feel free to vent as much as needed, we all understand

Newbie Questions Before IVF Consult- Please share your wisdom with me!

Thanks! I spoke with the financial people at NS LIJ Center for Human Reproduction today, and they broke it down for me to 12,217$ for the first fresh cycle, $1200 facility fee and $500 for anesthesiologists. Plus approx. $3-6k for meds. Whoa.

They also explained their ATtain IVF program which was like a package deal....

Some of you have sent me mail recommending LI IVF, and I looked on their website, which lists pricing, so I called twice today. The first time I was asked to leave my name and number because the new patient coordinator was away from her desk and moving slowly because she recently sprained her ankle? That was at about 9am- I called back around 2 and was sent to her voicemail. I'll try again tomorrow, but it does worry me a little that I can't get an appointment?

Thanks for all of your support! I do appreciate it! And good luck to all of you!