Newborn Nighttime feeding

Be honest, how involved/helpful was your husband when the twins were newborns with the middle of the night feedings??

My DH and I were discussing it and he doesn't think he needs to get up when they are BOTH up and screaming to be fed!!! How completely unrealisitic this sounds, right?? Especially since the twins will be in the SAME crib and SAME room as us!! Yes, I plan on BF but he doesn't think he should have to get up and really is not too recepective to discussing it much further, I explained to him that the faster we get them to bed the faster we return to our sleep also.

Be honest, is it completely CRAZY in the fisrt few weeks?

Message edited 5/19/2010 8:29:23 PM.

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

My babies were in the NICU and came home eating every 3 hours around the clock. They had reflux and spit-up a lot. We both woke up in the beginning (2-3weeks) It was exhausting, but once DH was back at work he needed more sleep. He works very long days (at least 14-15 hours) so I couldn't really be mad at him for not getting up at night.

He slept on the couch for 2 months (during the week....he helped me on the weekends) I found it OK on my own...whoever got up first ate first, and then whether or not the other was up they got woken up to eat. B/c they needed to sit up for ahwile or else they would spit up, each feeding took 1-1 1/2 hours total. I would have everything up in my room and be ready to change/feed them without even getting out of bed!!

The first few weeks are hard, and now they are kind of a blur but on the days DH worked, it was easier for me to do it along than worry all day about him at work without enough sleep.

If he didn't help on the weekend though Your DH has to understand that you being home with newborn twins IS a full time job and you need help and a break too!! Even if he gets the babies, changes diapers and hands them off to you to feed. I ams ure you will come up with a system that works for you

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

My babies are only a week old today so its only been a few days
thankfully my mom has been with us every night but one,
the one night she wasn't here one baby was just inconsolable would not stop crying till almost 4 am at that time the other baby started crying so he did get up and take the first baby and stayed with her in the living room all night,

but so far it has really been my mom and me i'll have to update in 2 weeks when my mom goes home

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

My mom stayed with us for the first month. I wasn't able to nurse so it will be a little different if you do, I guess.

In the beginning we had the babies on an every three hours schedule, staggered by 1/2 hour. DH and I would do the 6/6:30pm and the 9/9:30pm together. I would do the 12/12:30 alone. My mom and I would do the 3/3:30 together and she would do the 6/6:30am alone. She would sleep from like 7pm to 3 am, I would sleep from 4am to 9am.

Once she left and I was still on maternity leave, I would go to bed at like 7pm and DH would be on duty until midnight. I was on duty from midnight on. On the weekends, we would split it.

My boys are almost six months old, share a room and very very rarely wake each other up with crying.

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

I breast fed and DH ALWAYS got up with me in the first few weeks. It was actually a really great bonding time for us, even though we were completely exhausted.
He'd change the babies to wake them up, bring me water and cookies, and just be there with me.
I will be honest - yes it is completely crazy in the first few weeks since you will be so sleep deprived. But at the same time, those first few weeks were so amazing.
The best thing you can do for yourself is get them on a schedule right away.

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

We hired a nanny recently bc I needed help with DS since I'm on bedrest. DH thinks that since we hired the nanny, he wont have to help with the night feedings...but she is only here during the day so I dont know how on earth I'll manage feeding them by myself all night
My mom will stay with us at night for the first few weeks, but after that I'm gonna have to figure something out. I know DH works so I wont expect him to get up for all feedings, but I'm gonna have him do the late night feeding...at like 12 or 1. We did that with DS. I would go to sleep at like 9 pm and he would do the next feeding at around midnight so that I would get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep!

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

I didnt breastfeed so I cant really say, but My Dh helped every single night till they slept through the night. I couldnt have done it alone. But I also have a now 3 yr old to take care of , and I couldnt handle 3 kids on no sleep.

With two I just didnt have enough hands at all. He had to help.

eta- This may sound harsh , but if my DH said he wasn't getting up to help, I'd have literally moved out and moved in with my MIL or someone who would help. That just wasn't an option for me, and I think he would be scared to see what I'd turn into /do to him if he said that.

There is not a way in the world I could have done it alone. I cried desperate tears for sleep the first 10 or so weeks. Would literally sob I wanted to sleep so badly. I would have allowed a stranger to babysit my kids for sleep.

Its NOT that hard for everyone, for me, it was a big giant blur or just feedings, mini naps and diaper changes and making bottles.

Message edited 5/22/2010 5:21:17 PM.

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

My dh got up with me for every feeding. He was off for the first 2 weeks after the boys got out of the NICU. My Dh works 2-3 nights a week 12h shifts on a rotating schedule. The first few months I stayed at my sister's house when he would work.

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

I have to say DH was GREAT for the night feedings. I took one and he took the other. When one woke up, we woke up the other as well to keep them on the same schedule in which I cant EMPHASIZE enough.

Re: Newborn Nighttime feeding

I really appreciate all the responses, it seems like my husband is coming around a bit more. I am done giving him scenarios and asking how he plans on handling them, instead, when the opportunity presents itself, thats when I am going to tell him what he has to do, he's not going to have a choice.

Again, thanks so much for the honesty all of you have made me feel better!

I have another 3/4 weeks, I'll keep you posted.