Not Sure if EI is gonna work

backstory, DS is getting PT once per week for a gross motor skill delay.

We've gone through 2 sessions so far. And each time DS cries because he doesn't want to interact with the therapist. So we've spent 2 weeks of him clinging to me. She's really does try to engage him in activites and is only 30% of the time successful and then all she needs to do is one thing wrong and he cries and throws himself all over the place.

These sessions normally take place at 5:15 at our house. So I'm thinking that maybe it's just too late after he's been in daycare. So next week we're going to try 11:15 at daycare and maybe that would work better.

In New Jersey EI isn't free, we're paying $50 per session out of our pocket. So $100 spent with no therapy. DH and I agreed that we would give it 2 more tries at daycare and see where it goes. Do you think that's not enough time or should I just continue to spend the money for it? Literally she has not been able to do anything for him.

Any advice?

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

As an EI provider - these are the things that have worked for me. First of all, little guys have a hard time adjusting to new people. Any new provider that comes in usually needs to build a rapport. If possible, maybe she could play with him with some of his favorite toys for a few sessions (I know you are paying out of your pocket so maybe that is not realistic). Otherwise, if he is clingy to you, maybe she could demonstrate what she would like to do with him first and then have you do it. That would be the best anyways, since then you will be able to carry it out throughout the rest of the week! Maybe daycare will work too because you won't be there. HTH!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

I think the daycare option might work well for you. I've done both and found that when we were at home, DS was more focused on me than his therapies.

Have you checked with your insurance company to see if they cover P/T? It might be less expensive than through EI.

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

This is not an answer to your question, but I agree with the previous post that $50 per session out of pocket is a LOT. Checking out your insurance coverage might save you a nice amount of money!

Just my own experience-- my DS has been seeing a speech pathologist for over a year now (I am in NY where EI is free, but EI would not grant him services, don't get me started on THAT!). Her fee is $55 per session. BUT... if she is in your insurance network, it's just the cost of a co-pay (maybe $10 or $15), and even if she isn't, you would submit the bills for reimbursement and get up to 70% or 80% back, depending on your plan. Now, this coverage usually maxes out after about 25 or 30 visits a year, and then if you want to continue you pay the full price out of pocket, but it's still a big savings compared to the NJ EI costs!!!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

I definitely think doing it at daycare is a good idea. 5:15 is awful late for the little guy to be focused, he's probably tired from the day's events. I also think not having you there is a good idea - there were a few times when DD was in PT that I would step back so that she would focus her attention on the therapist and not me.

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

She really is trying to get him to be comfortable with her but an hour a week I don't think is going to be enough for that to happen. She has been good with giving me suggestions on things we should do during the week as well as getting me to do things with him at the time so she can see the pattern of his movement.

In terms of insurance, I should have mentioned that in the original post. We haven't contacted our private insurance yet because we just got switched to DH's plan but his employer was delayed on the application so I didn't want to start it with my insurance knowing that we would switch. I literally just got new cards this week and will be calling tomorrow. I can't tell from the insurance info that they sent me if this would be covered and of coure when I call now it isn't their "normal business hours". $50 per session stinks...but at least if I felt that he was benefitting than it might not hurt so much.

For tuesday the plan is that I meet her at daycare. I really don't want him to see me there at all but I do want to see the interaction. We've also been having a lot of problems with the separation in the morning at daycare (see a post from a few nights ago) so daycare actually wants me to observe him anyway because they want me to see that he adjusts really well and is playful during the day. So me being there serves two purposes. Just hope he doesn't see me.

Between the daycare saga and this PT thing it seems that the little time I get with DS is spent with him being hysterical...i'm so drained. I feel so guilty.

Thanks ladies!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

Lisa...I don't have any advice about EI, but I think Matthew is doing just fine. He doesn't seem like he is struggling to meet his milestones, maybe just on the later side. You had said he wasn't crawling...and then boom, he started crawling. I would give it another week or two, and then maybe just take a break from the EI and maybe have him re-evaluated in 6 months if there are no changes.

I know it's frustrating, but he will do all the things you want him to do in his own time. Mollie didn't walk until 15 months...and I wanted to rip my hair out from all the people who said to me, ohhhh...she's not walking yet? And now...she doesn't sit down, ever!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

My DS gets PT in my home as well.
The beginning was rough!
He gets 2x a week, 45 minutes.
He cried and screamed for the first few weeks.
One day, the PT and I agreed, I should leave the room. It was hard, but, in about a week, DS was fine.
It's now a few months later and he says "Hi" to her when she walks in, he loves her and I have been back in the room for a while now.

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

she should show you exactly what she wants to do with him so that you can do the therapy anyway. maybe he will be more comfortable with you doing it and you probably need to carry it over anyway so he gets the most out of e.i..

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

I know that you want to be a part of it, but maybe it would be best if you left the room, like PP mentioned. I teach dance (I know it's completely different) but I deal with this a lot with my little ones. I find that if the mother stays, they may not cause a fuss, but they won't dance. Just today I had a mother leave me her 3 year old hysterical crying. She cried for 10 minutes until I got her to sit down and just watch the rest of us. Then she finally got up and danced with us for the rest of class. There were certain things she didn't want to do, and I didn't force the issue since I had already made big strides. If the mother had stayed, I don't think U would have gotten her up all lesson.

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

OK -- As I was reading the posts I was thinking a few things.

First, I don't think you should give up just yet. 2 sessons isn't a lot, and while I know it is a big out of pocket expense, it could pay off SO much in the long run. I am a special ed teacher and WISH more of my past-students had recieved EI. It is so much easier to catch them up in toddlerhood then later on in their childhood.

I agree with Dawn, it might help if you leave the room. A lof of toddlers that struggle with seperation will continue as long as the person they want (you!) are within sight. It will probably be more difficult for you thatway, but he'll probably get used to it quicker.

Also, can you ask the therapist if you'd mind taking a pic of her playing with your DS? You can keep it on the fridge and while you're in the kitchen together you can look at the pic together and talk about the therapist as if they are a family member. Just like you'd talk about a pic of a cousin or grandparent. It might help him to realize that they aren't so much of a stranger but someone who comes to play and have a fun time with him.

I do think that having it at daycare will help also, since it' isn't on his "mommy territory."

And I would call the insurance co tomorrow to see if it is covered or can be reemburssed. That was a great idea.

Hang in there, it will get easier!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

Posted by Melbernai



Also, can you ask the therapist if you'd mind taking a pic of her playing with your DS? You can keep it on the fridge and while you're in the kitchen together you can look at the pic together and talk about the therapist as if they are a family member. Just like you'd talk about a pic of a cousin or grandparent. It might help him to realize that they aren't so much of a stranger but someone who comes to play and have a fun time with him.



Hang in there, it will get easier!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Melbernai



Also, can you ask the therapist if you'd mind taking a pic of her playing with your DS? You can keep it on the fridge and while you're in the kitchen together you can look at the pic together and talk about the therapist as if they are a family member. Just like you'd talk about a pic of a cousin or grandparent. It might help him to realize that they aren't so much of a stranger but someone who comes to play and have a fun time with him.



Hang in there, it will get easier!

This is a great idea - its also a good way to communicate before she comes so its not so sudden, as things can be for a toddler!

i also agree that more time is needed - I'm sorry its so expensive!!!

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

Hi, I think you received great advice already. I am in NJ too and going through EI for speech with my son and I guess it's different for me int he fact that I wasn't happy with the program or the therapist. (i have a new one now). Basically, dealing with them hasn't been that great for me and I am now thinking I should go get him evaluated by a private therapist.

Anyway, I did notice a huge difference with my son when I wasn't in the room. The old therapist and him didn not click for some reason. We have a new one who is more of a teacher figure and he really likes her, she is very firm and prefers me to be out of the room and pop in once in awhile. I noticed a big change with his sessions.

Also, he used to get therapy when it was really time for his lunch and nap and now he gets it at 4:00 and it is so much better. Also, I have heard great things about the therapists going to do the sessions at daycare. I was going to try that before we got our new therapsit.

Good luck and i def wouldn't give up yet. Try having her go to daycare and see what happens.

Re: Not Sure if EI is gonna work

Hi there. My friend has EI come into her daycare for her son everyday for PT and she likes it so much. I know that when I took Sophie for speech they made me leave the room after the first session and she was so much better off. Whenever I go into the room, she clings to me and just wants me to play with her. But after aw hile she got used to going into the room with the therapist alone and LOVED it. I would def have them come to daycare earlier in the day- maybe in the morning after he's well rested and see what happens. I also talk about her speech therapist alot. I ask her "where's lisa?" and "do you play this with lisa?" just to keep her fresh in her mind. Also, an hour is a long time. I know EI does hour long sessions but can you do 2 30 minute sessions per week?