NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

I am pretty clueless when it comes to being a bridesmaid. I was in one other wedding a very long time ago! What is a bridesmaid’s responsibility when it comes to the bridal shower? I am totally the type of person that takes charge when it comes to my own events...I hate to put other people out too much (I planned and paid for my whole baby shower with my husband from soup to nuts and for my bridal shower my husband, mother and sister did everything and the girls all chipped $20 each for games and prizes. (I did not want the girls to spend too much, I felt bad). Anyway, the reason I’m asking is because I’m in a wedding for a person I adore and I want to help out as much as possible and make her shower extra special. I offered to take care of creating fun games and prizes and whatever else they need. Although, the mother of the bride told my sister that she got the food and venue and in her words exactly “she doesn’t care if we get the invites and favors from Wal-Mart…she wants not part.” I thought this was a bit much and was surprised she said this. In my family, the mother or MOH always does the invites and favors and would not even think of asking the bridesmaids to do this (but this could be just us)! Off course I will step up if we are doing it and try to do something cute and affordable for all of us. Maybe something edible for favors etc. But I’m just so curious on other opinions about this! Thanks

Also, the brides sister, her MOH sent out a very vague email that is not specific on what exactly we are all doing, the mother just said this stuff to my sister in passing.

Message edited 2/16/2010 1:10:06 PM.

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

My bridal party split the cost of everything...we had no moms between DH and I-they are both deceased.

I think my MOH did more than the rest of the BP, though...$$$ wise.

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

My bridal party paid for my entire shower. I know that many mothers throw the shower, but my parents felt that tradition states the bridal party pays (they're older and of an old school mentality on certain things.) My parents did host the engagement party and paid for my entire reception. I have been part of bridal parties where the mother has paid, I have been part where the bridal party has paid. Different people do it different ways.

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

It's all different nowadays but I know for my bridal shower my Mom took care of everything, however usually it's the MOH's and bridal party's responsibility if the Mother of the bride doesn't offer first. Since the MOB is already taking care of the venue & food, I guess she just needs the invites and favors done by the bridal party...maybe she mentioned the "Wal-Mart" since she didn't want the BP to spend too much. I don't think that's too bad considering lots of BP's have to host the whole thing themselves. I would try to talk it out with the MOH if there is something else you'd like to contribute.

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

My mother paid for my entire bridal shower. My mother wouldn't accept money from the girls and told them to just come up with some fun games. My mother also supplied the prizes, homemade wine in a beautiful wine holder. Even though my mother did everything, she did keep the girls and MIL in the loop and appreciated their suggestions.

The girls were very generous with the group bridal party gift and did a great job organizing the games. They also individually bought me something special that was not on my registry. Example: Tiffany jewelery box, Armani statue, massage gift certificate, etc.

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

I think every family is different to be honest. My girls chipped in a little bit for mine but my Mom and sister did the majority of it. (I think my girls did, prizes, games & favors)

Then for my friends where I was the MOH, we did EVERYTHING with no help from her mother whatsoever.

Re: NPR..bridesmaid responsibility..would love opinions and thoughts

For the most part, in my circle of friends we more or less know the financial situation of the parents.

There are some who have money to spend - the first one paid for the restaurant and we took care of everything else: invitations, decorations, games.

There was another who wouldn't let us do anything besides games and invitations, and even then I'm pretty sure her aunt wrote me a check for what I laid out (not expected at, all but hard to refuse when they sneak it into your bag). The guest list of that one had over 100 ppl on it, so to be honest, we were grateful not to have to foot the entire bill.

And then there are others whose parents are on a fixed income so we told her mom where to show up and when and we handled everything else.