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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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? of the day
will your step children ever be as important as your biological children?
just a thought from a conversation I had with a friend...
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Posted 7/13/09 5:29 PM  |
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KimberlyScott
Graceyn=My World <3
Member since 10/08 4173 total posts
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Kimberly
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Re: ? of the day
I voted no. When I first entered the picture I would have answered yes but, I have a difficult step son.
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| Posted 7/13/09 6:18 PM |
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chrisnjoe8108
He's 1!
Member since 8/08 5649 total posts
Name:
Chris
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Re: ? of the day
Yes absolutely. I don't have children as of yet but when I do my step daughter will absolutely be just as important.
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| Posted 7/14/09 6:32 AM |
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Re: ? of the day
Posted by chrisnjoe8108
Yes absolutely. I don't have children as of yet but when I do my step daughter will absolutely be just as important.
Exactly
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| Posted 7/14/09 12:21 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: ? of the day
To me? Honestly, no. My son is a part of me (and Dh). I carried him for 9 mos. I gave birth to him, I stayed up at nights with him, I experienced all his first milestones (thus far). I know the pure joy of seeing his little smile or him grabbing my finger or saying mama. I dont have and obviously never will have any type of bond like that with my SKs. To me NO ONE will ever be as important to me as my son. If that makes me wrong, so be it.
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| Posted 7/15/09 9:16 AM |
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Re: ? of the day
Probably not. I was a stepchild at a very young age and it was quite clear to me I wasn't as important as the biological children.
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| Posted 7/15/09 2:41 PM |
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Re: ? of the day
Theya re a part of our lives, and we are involved and they will always be important to me.
I think I would want them to be as important to me as my son, but they have distanced themselves and make it harder for me to connect with them.
My son will always be the most important to me no matter what, though....
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:54 PM |
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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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Re: ? of the day
my 2 cents:
prior to having my ds, i thought children are children, it will always be the same love...however, there is a distinct difference that isn't tangible - the love you have for your own child will, imo, always surpass the love for another's child -obviously, in the case of adoption, it would be different b/c the child would view it's adoptive parents as the 1st parents - i just think that no one will ever be more important to me than the child i carried and nutured
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:02 PM |
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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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Re: ? of the day
Posted by TuttsyLow
Probably not. I was a stepchild at a very young age and it was quite clear to me I wasn't as important as the biological children.
i'm sorry this is my fear in the entire blended family situation. can i ask, did you view your step-parents as important as your biological parents?
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:04 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: ? of the day
Before I had my son I would have said "of course he'll be as importatnt to me!" But after having my son, I feel awful saying it, but there is a stronger connection and bond with my own son. Part of it is biological, we are wired to respond to our own infants cry. My SS is 13 and I work hard to be sure that he never feels that he is any less important than my son.
I'm not sure if important is even the right word for how I feel, because if either one or both of them were in danger I would risk myself to save them, without hesitation. But the bond and love is deeper with my own son. I know it sounds awful, but I am being honest.
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| Posted 7/18/09 9:22 AM |
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Lucky2008
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1005 total posts
Name:
Chris
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Re: ? of the day
Posted by 1stimemom
To me? Honestly, no. My son is a part of me (and Dh). I carried him for 9 mos. I gave birth to him, I stayed up at nights with him, I experienced all his first milestones (thus far). I know the pure joy of seeing his little smile or him grabbing my finger or saying mama. I dont have and obviously never will have any type of bond like that with my SKs. To me NO ONE will ever be as important to me as my son. If that makes me wrong, so be it.
I have to agree with this. I would think that SK are important - absolutely - but one cannot say they love them equal to a child(ren) that they carried and gave life to and nurtured. My SD too is very difficult to connect with and has flat out told me she hates me and DH, so that makes it difficult as well, I do not have a child of my own as of yet, but I can honestly say that my love and bond for each of them would be different - very different.
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| Posted 7/18/09 7:48 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
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Re: ? of the day
That's a tough one for me to answer...
DH and I have yours, mine, and ours...
We try our best to keep things as equal as possible. It is important to us to include all the kids in whatever is going on...but b/c the BM does her best to squash things that we have planned we often have to either do things without them or cancel our plans...
Because of this including my DH's children has become less important. We still include them but we dont allow our plans to revolve around them any more. It was a heart wrenching decision for us but one that had to be made...
I think this has made them somewhat less important...just as much loved...just as much cared about...but less important. We didnt create the situation and we dont like it. But it's something that is out of our control. Should the tables turn and the are "allowed" to truly be a member of our family we will gladly make them as important again...
I hope this makes sense to everyone b/c I truly do love them and care about them....
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| Posted 7/21/09 2:02 PM |
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