OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

...I have heard this from several people- not just one.

For awhile we were "on the fence" about having kids... I kept waiting to feel "ready" and to "want " them- but it never happened.

So during all this time people would ask about it and I'd say, well not yet, not sure when- maybe down the road- we just aren't ready yet and we know that.

I would occasionally get the answer of- "well you should start trying now because you aren't getting any younger and besides what if it takes 5 years to get pregnant etc."

Does anyone else see how this is just a REALLY bad line of reasoning?

Because what if it DIDN'T take 5 years to get pregnant? What if we got pregnant on the first try? And we weren't ready at all? Like how ridiculous is that comment?
If we are not ready, we are not ready... and we can't take the chance of starting to try "just in case" it takes a long time to get pregnant...because what if it doesn't...?

And I try to explain that reasoning to them nicely- and they just don't get it.

Ok- just had to get that one out!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

Wow, that's an insult and a whammy all rolled into one.

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

it is an insult, even if its well meaning.

Thats why I used to (pre IVF) jsut say No and change the subject.

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

I think the "You're not getting any younger" comment would bother me more, actually. That's never a good thing to say to anyone, regardless of the subject!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

Posted by anonttcer



I would occasionally get the answer of- "well you should start trying now because you aren't getting any younger and besides what if it takes 5 years to get pregnant etc."

Does anyone else see how this is just a REALLY bad line of reasoning?

Because what if it DIDN'T take 5 years to get pregnant? What if we got pregnant on the first try? And we weren't ready at all? Like how ridiculous is that comment?
If we are not ready, we are not ready... and we can't take the chance of starting to try "just in case" it takes a long time to get pregnant...because what if it doesn't...?

And I try to explain that reasoning to them nicely- and they just don't get it.

Ok- just had to get that one out!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

I've gotten this comment too...from one of my doctors!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

And you know the "Not getting any younger" comment doesn't even bother me that much- because everyone gets a day older every day- so of course we are all getting older...nothing you can do about it...

I just don't get the reasoning of- "you should try to get pregnant even though you are not ready just in case it takes a long time" Ummm- but what if it doesn't? What if it happens right away and we aren't ready...
So irresponsible if you ask me!!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

The age thing I know people say for health reasons.. but it doesn't need to be said! It is hurtful.

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

i have had friends and family members say that to me too and i find it to be hurtful. i usualy shoot them a nasty look and

People say the dumbest things!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

I am 40, soon to be 41, going through IF treatments, but on a break now. I can't tell you how many people have said to me "well if you had started trying earlier...". Well, no dumbazz, I still would have had my issues b/c they are NOT related to my age. Also, I did try earlier, when I was in my early 30's.


The problem is that people speak without thinking ,about this and lots of things, and then end up staying stupid stuff. Right or wrong, but they do not realize they are being stupid and offensive.

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

people need to take a lesson from thumper

"if you cant say something nice....dont say nothing at all"

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...

Posted by anonttcer

Posted by kimbalina

The age thing I know people say for health reasons.. but it doesn't need to be said! It is hurtful.

Exactly! Like I don't already know that as you age it gets harder/more risky to have kids. Yes I know that. I'm not a dummy.
Do they really think they are helping by saying that?
Like WOW thank GOD you told me that otherwise I would have never known. WOW! Let me go bang my husband right now and try to get knocked up. Thanks SOOOO much!!

Re: OK I have a new rude comment to discuss...