Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

My little guy started kindergarten yesterday. I brought him to the bus stop and he got on the bus fine(we only live 4 blocks away and they get a bus)then DH who took off of work and my other little guy drove to the school and waited and waited and waited for the bus it was late!! Okay when he got on the bus I fought back the tears because I thought it was better for him not to see mommy cry. Then I started to panic because the bus drove away with my little person and it's late! Okay little bit of a panic attack then the bus pulled up and I could see his little face in the window and he was very sad!! When he got off the bus he came over to me and tried to fight back the tears himself and told me he never wants to take the bus again and begged me to take hime home. I promised him I would wait on the playground all day until he got out in case he needed me and he didnt have to take the bus home! Okay I was sick the whole time he was in school. I pick him up and he was sooo excited to tell me about his whole day I just picked him up and hugging him all the way to the car!! Okay this morning he tells me he wants to walk to school but take the bus home. So I figured okay we'll see how it goes. I wrote the teacher a note telling her that he can get on the bus but I will be at the school too just in case there is a problem(I'll hide across the street). Anyhow, he gets on line and no I see his excitement is starting to turn into PANIC and he gets off the line and begs me not to leave him there. I tried reassuring him but it wasnt working his class went in and he stood outside with me and one of the directors freaking out. When I walked him to the door for the director to take him he lost it and started kicking screaming please dont leave me whick OMG set my 3yr old off. He started screaming Paulie I'll save you it's okay. I want my brother save my brother. I love him I dont want him to stay here they'll never let him come home!!! So I picked him up and hid on the side of the building while the director refused to pick up my son and just kept telling him Im going to take you by the hand and we will walk in nicely. Im not a man I dont pick up children!!! Now Im a wreck and trying still not to cry and the 3yr old is in my arms screaming and trying to get to his brother and other parents are coming over to console me as Im trying to hold the tears in. I couldnt leave because the woman wouldnt bring him into the bldg all the way and I thought him seeing me would make it worse. OMG I can feel the need for Xanex(JK). All the way home I had the 3yr old in the wagon crying they are going to keep my brother and I love him and your letting them keep him! I dont know if I can do this everyday!!! Im going to wait a half an hour more and call the school to check on him.
**After reading alot of the replys I reread the post and I just thought I should make a few things clearer since obviously I was still emotional when I wrote this** It was my three year old I was holding and hiding on the side of the bldg. with not my kindergartner and I couldnt leave because the director had him in the vestibule and to go home I had to walk that way I figured if he thought I left he would calm down because I realize it's over quickly(the freaking out). Also I did not expect the director to pick him up literally but to try to reason with a 5yr old whose histerical doesnt work and this woman wasnt even looking at my son while talking to him she was smiling at all the parents as if she was part of a show! I met with this woman in the summer with my son for certain testing they do and he refused to go with her alone so I asked her what the procedure is if he does this when school starts and she told me kicking and screaming just hand him to me and I will carry him to class if I have too! Today she was literally too worried about wrinkling her blouse.

Message edited 9/7/2007 7:21:14 PM.

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

I am so sorry you went thru this.... I see this so often and can't imagine how i'm going to be if this ever happens with my baby....

But here are a few things that I have heard work, or have experienced first hand as working....

- Communicate to your child that there is nothing to be afraid of. This usually doesn't get communicated well if the parent keeps returning when the child is screaming or crying - it shows that you are afraid too, and why should mommy be afraid? That means there IS something to be afraid of here!!!

- Stay calm and don't let your child know he is getting you upset. Speak to him and let him know everyone has a job, and his is to go to school. It may be hard at first, but all jobs are hard.

- Have a sticker chart or reward system for taking the bus

Also, directors, principals, etc do not pick up children. Teachers rarely pick children up. they do as you said - speak calmly and let the child know he/she must walk thru the hallway.

Good luck!

Did your child go to preschool? How did he do there?

So sad to hear how upset he got his little brother

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

OMG! I would have completely lost it.

The brother part is too cute.

I know it doesn't feel like it but it will get easier. The director should have had another teacher come out & try to get him inside.

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

I don't really have any advice since my DD is only 12 months. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I def would have broken down. Just wanted to offer some

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

I went through this. My son did it for 3 weeks in 2nd grade. (Now in 4th) At first I cried, it broke my heart. The best thing is to just let them take him. He probably calms down immediately. I know my son did. It does get better, I promise.

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

I just read this and I have tears in my eyes....the brother part is cute...

I hope he was able to calm down and enjoy the rest of his day...

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

awww what a rough first day for everyone

so cute that his brother is protecting him

I hope it gets better

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Thanks! I know it will get easier. He did go to preschool and for the majority of the years he was there he did fine. If anything I know he was better within a few min. in preschool. I just think that kindergarten is a much more overwhelming experience for little people because the building is so big and there are alot more people at school then in preschool! I def. agree you have to walk away and let it just take it's course and I did try to keep my emotions in check in front of him, however, I am human and he is a part of me so it does hurt and just like for him it can be overwhelming for us as parents. I didnt expect the director to pick him up it's just there was no need to tell him Im not a man and I dont pick up children just bring him in the school his entire class is already gone and he's running around me and you wont even take his hand. My 3yr old has calmed alittle but he still keeps coming in to tell me how much he loves his brother and I just cant leave him there. They cant keep him! Then he goes and plays and is fine for awhile. My son who is now 15 and a sophmore in HS on his first day of kindergarten made it into the classroom and then through himself on the floor and latched onto my leg and as I tried to walk away I wound up dragging him halfway down the hall I live 4 blocks from school so I will stand across the street and watch him get on the bus at school to make sure he doesnt freak out on the teachers, Im not trying to traumatize him either,lol. The bus is not my biggest concern I'll let him go as long as he wants to but I think a meltdown over the bus will only escalate his feelings with going to school. I really appreciate all your help ladies and all the advice I will def. take some of it! For today though Im just emotionally overwhelmed

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

awwwwwww

I also had tears in my eyes. That is so sad, I would have lost it! You held up very well!

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

I truly feel for you ...My son is 3 and starts Nursery school Wednesday
I know how it feels as if your heart is breaking to watch them get so upset.
I went through it last yr every time I dropped my 2 yr off at day care...I am hopping since he went there for camp the transition to the schoold will be OK

Hopefully each day will make it a little easier for you and your son....and your 3 yr old too

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

I am sorry you are going through this....

But maybe you waiting outside the school makes it harder on him, if you weren't there he may not have freaked like that. It is hard in the beginning, especially on parents

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Aww...it will get better, you'll see. So sorry you had to go through that. It's heart-wrenching!!

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

OMG, your post had me in tears and makes me want to home school my only 3 month old in the future.

I have no advice as have not Been there, but HUGS TO YOU
I hope it gets better!!!

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Im so sorry you had a hard first week of Kindergarten....

As a teacher... from the other side and having taught kindergarten before... you may be making it worse by giving him all these options or waiting for him across the street and on the playground. Try giving him definites... like you ARE going on the bus.... I will be waiting for you at the bus stop when you get home. Honestly, it always always made it worse for the kids to see mom at school, if he didnt see you... he most likely would have gotten on the bus no prob. Trust the teachers at the school.... they do this all day and Im sure for many years previously. Believe me... its ALWAYS harder for you. Whenever kids cry on the first day... 99% of the time they stop when mom or dad leaves!

GOOD LUCK!

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

OMG reading this story so made me cry, I swear, especially the little guy trying to get his brother

I cant offer you any advice as my little guy is only 2, but I can give you some

Re: Okay Kindergarten didnt go as well as I hoped! I think Im gonna be sick

Posted by stayandjohn

OMG reading this story so made me cry, I swear, especially the little guy trying to get his brother

I cant offer you any advice as my little guy is only 2, but I can give you some