Old Dogs- long but worth reading

Old dogs have a grace that I think some people miss. Those that do see it often get sad, watching their dogs age, walking further down the road, knowing that it's only a matter of time before their dog rounds the bend and moves out of our sight.

I'm in a peculiar place. I see my aging Lowchen, both eyes now blind and her cognitive abilities fading quickly. This week she stumbled as she walked up the ramp in the kitchen that leads to our outdoor kennel attached to our house. I was there when it happened. She fell only20onto the kitchen floor, but had she been a few steps further up the ramp, she would have fallen into the stairwell where I'm sure she would have been hurt. I have to make plans now about how to keep her safe when I'm not here to supervise her.

So I watch Tansy age and I feel sadness that I know we have much less time left together than we've shared so far, but I feel incredibly fortunate too. I get to watch my old dog get older. I didn't get to do that with Mira or with Cali, having lost both of them at far too young an age.

I feel like Tansy has lived well with us. She got cheated the first half decade or so of her life or so, but she's soaked up the good life with my daughter and I. Tansy took great pleasure looking down "her" alley at the end of the sidewalk. She was my little grey sentinal for many many years. Now she sits and listens since she's unable to see. It's still her favorite spot in the yard.

She took joy in learning to walk in and out of the raspberry bushes. Blind in one eye when she came home, that due to an injury in the puppy mill where her eye was ripped open by the wood and wire caging, Tansy had no depth perception and it affected her movement. She'd had so little time in the world without wire around her, she didn't know how to maneuver. But she figured it out. In and out of the raspberry bushes, then looking to me as if to say, "LOOK! I did it! " Her tail wagged like a pom pom in her self delight. She learned too how to jump onto furniture, sleep on the bed and appreciate ear rubs and chest scratches.

It took Tansy three years to learn how to respond to the command, "sit." Now it's in her brain just like her house training is. Tell Tansy, "Sit!" and she plants her arthritic hips on the ground, her nose pointing upward for the treat she assumes will follow. That's the other thing she learned -- treats follow her. They were there before she learned to sit; they'll be there if she forgets again.

I know I'll loose Tansy one day, probably yet this year. She gets lost in my bedroom and can't find her way out some mornings. She walks up to the fence in our yard and can't figure out how to walk away, turning and bumping into it or her sisters or brother around her repeatedly like one of those wind up toys that change direction every time they run into an obstacle.

With her unsure footing on the ramp and her refusal to do stairs since she went completely blind, I often carry Tansy outside and often carry her inside again as well. It takes more time, but that's something that's a gift. We give it to each other. Carrying her reminds me of it. How lucky can one be to have a dog long enough in life that they need to be carried sometimes?

I didn't get to watch Cali or Mira's coats change color with age. I didn't watch their eyes g row cloudy or their ability to chew kibble wane as more teeth were lost to age. They left without spending even a decade on this earth, Mira only half a decade. And so I look at Tansy's aging, and unlike the people who weep that their dogs grow old....I am grateful for the opportunity for this passage. And for the old dogs that come to rescue, I wonder what ever has possessed their humans that they pass these gifts along to someone else, sometimes not even looking back. They've gone mad, or maybe never had their sanity.

If you have an old dog or a growing older dog, I hope you're able to rejoice in the time you've got, watching him wake up a little more slowly than he used to or seeing her step in the yard or living room grow a little more uncertain. That slower pace, the body that's softer and less muscular, the hearing or sight that isn't what it once was, are a gift we don't all get to share. Sometimes we lose the opportunity without any choice in the matter. For those who throw it away, I am both sorry and astonished.

I breathe in the smell of Tansy's dear old head and listen to her sigh as I rub her chest. We are closer now than we probably were in the past. She's the last of my original pack that led my friends to refer to evening meals at our house as a "three dog night." I've promised not to keep her longer than she is comfortable and happy. I gauge her life in part now by her will ingness to eat. She still enjoys her treats and gets more soft food than kibble these days, partly because she forgets what she's doing often times if something takes a long time to chew. Bon Appetit', Tansy.....bon appetit!
lu

©2008 Lu Wyland

Re: Old Dogs- long but worth reading

the most touching thing I've read iin a while.

I just want to go over to my mom's house right now and hug and kiss her old man.

Re: Old Dogs- long but worth reading

my Lucy just turned 14. while she still has alot of energy for her age, i see the changes in her. she still can get out the door pretty fast with her two sisters, but, she cant go as far or for as long. her hearing isnt what it used to be nor is her appetite. sometimes she just stands or sits and stares into space and its hard to get her attention. she has wrinkles around her mouth when she "smiles" and her muzzle has turned grey. shes become more attached to me lately; follows me everywhere. i know my time with her is getting shorter so i dont mind her being my "shadow". she hasnt lost any of her quirks and, beliieve me, she has alot of them. shes my baby and my old girl all at the same time.

i thank God that she was the one who poked her head out from under the Ford truck where she was living with her mom and sister. she's brought alot of joy into our lives and i'll miss like her like crazy when her time comes. i'm just glad we had the good fortune of having her in our lives and for this long. i couldn't imagine it any other way. she's quite a gal.

Re: Old Dogs- long but worth reading

This was unbelievable!1 Thank you!