OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

I don't know what to do about my father. He has entrusted all decision-making to me, and I don't know what to do!

He's totally immobile - he can't walk without help. They want to discharge him on Thursday, but the nurse practitioner told me today that she doesn't think he should go to a rehab facility because it's really just like a nursing home.

But, if he comes home with me, with a nurse's aid, he'll end up laying in bed all day anyway and he'll NEVER recover, develop bed sores, and god knows what else.

I want to find him the best in-patient cardiac rehab place there is around here, but then the problem is, he needs dialysis and these places rarely, if never, have them on-site, and most dialysis centers around here won't take a patient on a temporary basis.

So, that leaves us with a rehab facility that's close to the dialysis center where he is a current patient, near my home, but the problem is, I don't think there are any really good rehab facilities around where I live.

My god... seriously, no joke, my head is about 2 millimeters from implosion. If you made it this far, I give you a whole hell of a lot of credit!

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

What about St Francis or Stony Brook has an adult day care program- see if they would take him during the day and get him in home care at night?

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Have you been able to talk to the social worker at the hospital? Maybe than can guide you in the right direction.

ETA: Not sure if they could accomadate him, but I know someone in John J Foley in Bellport and they are very happy with the results.
And my husband was in St.Johnlands in Kings Park. He didn't have the problems your dad has, but maybe you can look into it. I was very happy with the care he received there.

Message edited 5/1/2007 8:50:54 PM.

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

I wish I had some good advice for you. I know you will make the best decision in the end.

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

you are having a tough time right now. Its hard to have to make decisions for your parents by yourself. Is there anybody at the hospital that could recommend a facility for him? they must have some resources at the hospital to help families make decisions like this.

I hope things get easier for you and your dad.

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

My grandmother is a diabetic and broke a bone in her leg 2 summers ago. It took a good year maybe a little longer for it heal because of the diabetis. After the bone healed I felt like she was always in and out of the hospital because she would get a calous on her toe and it would become infected almost immediatley. Well the last time it was pretty bad and they did put her in a rehab place and she loved it and they really did help on top of taking really good care of her. They would wake her and she had to take a shower then she would have breakfest and they would do physical theraphy with her (she was in a wheel chair, still is and will be forever but she can move around in tight spaces standing). She would also get lunch and dinner. On top of this she hardly speaks any english.
What if you brought him home and in addtion to the nurses aid have someone come to do physical therapy with him. Once the bedsores start it will be really hard for them to hea.

I really do admire you and everything that you do for your family. They are all so lucky to have you in their lives. Everything will work out

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

I'm sorry!

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Thanks everyone.
We live in the philly suburbs, so we can't use any NY facilities, unfortunately

I am going to call the case worker from the hospital tomorrow. It's just that I get the sense that they just want to discharge him, and really aren't thinking about what's 100% best for his recovery. Perhaps it's because I've done so many medical malpractice cases, but, the truth is, I don't trust them to make the right decision.

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Posted by Bxgell2

Thanks everyone.
We live in the philly suburbs, so we can't use any NY facilities, unfortunately

I am going to call the case worker from the hospital tomorrow. It's just that I get the sense that they just want to discharge him, and really aren't thinking about what's 100% best for his recovery. Perhaps it's because I've done so many medical malpractice cases, but, the truth is, I don't trust them to make the right decision.

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Posted by Mssissy

Posted by Bxgell2

Thanks everyone.
We live in the philly suburbs, so we can't use any NY facilities, unfortunately

I am going to call the case worker from the hospital tomorrow. It's just that I get the sense that they just want to discharge him, and really aren't thinking about what's 100% best for his recovery. Perhaps it's because I've done so many medical malpractice cases, but, the truth is, I don't trust them to make the right decision.

Oh..I didn't realize you weren't in NY.
Good luck to you! I'm sure you will get the best care for your dad.
How did it work out with your brother if you don't mind me asking?

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

No advice except to throw that malpractice experience around if they try to discharge him before he's ready.

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

I emailed him saying that my father was upset that he hadn't heard from him, and asking if he knew that he was undergoing heart surgery. He emailed me back and said he knew, but didn't make any excuse or give any explanation as to why he never called. He did call that night, and maybe twice since then, but that's about it. I'm too busy imploding my head over here to give him a second thought for the last week or so.


I can understand your feelings.

Well, I'm glad he at least called and talked to your dad. I hope it made your dad feel better.

Good luck!

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I have 2 friends whose moms are nurses in Phili hospitals- so if there is anything I can do-please let me know.

Other than that, I have no answer. Just lots of and

Re: OMG, seriously, my head is going to pop