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msma88
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 300 total posts
Name:
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Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Does anyone like to hang out with your friends and family only. And totally hate to hang out with your husbands friends and family. So basically cause arguements whenever the two of you go see his friends and family?
Or do you know someone that does this?
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Posted 1/26/06 1:42 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I don't do it, but I have seen it. It is destructive.
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Posted 1/26/06 1:45 PM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name: Mommy
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
No, I have no problem hanging out with his friends or family at all..
and vice versa
But if there was any particular family member or friend of his that I just couldn't stand (for whatever reason) than I might encourage him to see them on his own time.. I have no problem with that. Though I'd TRY to put those feelings aside once in a while and compromise maybe ..
added: yes I do know people like that, but often the reasons they have for not wanting to hang with their SO's friends/family are perfectly valid
Message edited 1/26/2006 1:54:40 PM.
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Posted 1/26/06 1:53 PM |
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msma88
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 300 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
My coworker does this and I find it totally insane. And she thinks it is right. She is totally crazy and yells at her husband on the phone. Ughh.
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Posted 1/26/06 1:53 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name: D
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
We are good with doing things with each other's family. We each have a friend or two that the other doesn't love, but we try to compromise, especially when we are invited to something as a couple. I will do things with him and his friend (and possibly the SO) because it means a lot to DH, and vice versa.
There has been one friend of his I refuse to spend time with again. this person was not a good friend and the last time we did something with this person, I think he realized it and stopped communicating with him.
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Posted 1/26/06 2:35 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I am guilty of this but only with his friends.
I dont have a family issue with him because he chooses not to deal with them anyway.
But I dont care for his friends much. One group is totally disrespectful of women whether they are married or not. "bros before hos" is their motto and although my husband doesnt act like this, I cant deal with people who think like this. His work friends are big on going to bars still and getting wrecked and I dont like to do that anymore and cant now (since I am preggo) so we have nothing in common. His other group of friends are totally single and living and loving the single life and although they are respectful of our marriage, are younger than us and I just cant hang out with him too easily.
My dh complains about it and I will go somewhere if I really have to or if its really important to him but if not, he will go on his own. It causes fights sometimes but we get through it.
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Posted 1/26/06 2:41 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
We hang out with his mom a lot but we do spend more time with my friends than his. We see my friends every week or so and his once a month or so.
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Posted 1/26/06 2:42 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Posted by nycchic24
I am guilty of this but only with his friends.
ditto...there was a friend of my DH's that i HATED....
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Posted 1/26/06 2:44 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I think it is odd if someone hates ALL of their partners friends or relatives...
makes me think THEY are the problem and not the friends and family
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Posted 1/26/06 2:45 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Posted by Redhead
I think it is odd if someone hates ALL of their partners friends or relatives...
makes me think THEY are the problem and not the friends and family
I 100% agree!
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Posted 1/26/06 3:00 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
We tend to spend more time with my family & friends but only because there are more of them in the area that like to do similar things. But I have absolutely no problem hanging out with my in-laws or DH's friends.
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Posted 1/26/06 3:12 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name: B
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I really enjoy spending time with his family. We all get along very well. I like his college friends, but he usually hangs out with them alone b/c the only thing they do is play stratomatic baseball and other boy games.
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Posted 1/26/06 3:21 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Nope. But its pretty easy. DH's friends are not very social. They all have 2 kids each and live in the suburbs and never venture out to the city (where we normally live) or LI (where we temporarily live).
In fact recently we were hanging out DH's friend- the best man at his wedding whose wife introduced us. I love them! But he said he wants to stop hanging out with them because they fight so much in front of us it makes him uncomfortable.
He recently because friends with a client- and we actually hung out with them yesterday. His wife is also pregnant and due at the end of Feb. They are so sweet.
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Posted 1/26/06 4:33 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I love hanging out with his family and vice versa..As for friends, we have all the same friends. We have one big "group" that hangs out together.
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Posted 1/26/06 5:20 PM |
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msma88
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 300 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I can't believe 4 people fight with their so about this.
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Posted 1/26/06 6:10 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Posted by msma88
I can't believe 4 people fight with their so about this.
why?
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Posted 1/26/06 6:10 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Yea...why??
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Posted 1/26/06 6:12 PM |
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msma88
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 300 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
because the person doesn't have to go, they can stay home.
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Posted 1/26/06 6:12 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Posted by msma88
because the person doesn't have to go, they can stay home.
well you went on to describe more that just not wanting to "hangout" with DH's friends but also their family...Saying it is due to HATING them.
then you go on to say how you find this insane.. SO why would it be strange that other people agree....?
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Posted 1/26/06 6:17 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name: Janice
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
We are the opposite. I hang out with all DH's friends, and vacation with them. I get along with their old girlfriends, new ones, and wives.
DH on the other hand, would never vacation with any of my friends. He can last one night out with them, but never be able to go away with them. So I go away with them solo.
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Posted 1/26/06 6:23 PM |
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msma88
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 300 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
Posted by Redhead
Posted by msma88
because the person doesn't have to go, they can stay home.
well you went on to describe more that just not wanting to "hangout" with DH's friends but also their family...Saying it is due to HATING them.
then you go on to say how you find this insane.. SO why would it be strange that other people agree....?
Maybe I should have been clearer. Just because they don't want to go, mainly because they always want to hang out with their family and friends.
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Posted 1/26/06 6:28 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
I'm actually the opposite
I'm so bad at hanging out with my friends, b/c... well, we just get lazy about making time for 'just the girls'. So, we end up seeing DHs friends almost every weekend. I LOVE his friends- serisously, i'm so close with them, and he has a really good group of friends- and all of their wives/SOs are awesome too, so we really got lucky in that sense. But, i really have to get better at making time for mine
ETS- also, DHs friends all live within a few blocks of us too, so i think that adds to it
Message edited 1/26/2006 8:10:56 PM.
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Posted 1/26/06 8:10 PM |
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Wendy
Wheeee!
Member since 5/05 13736 total posts
Name:
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Re: Only Hang Out with Your Friends
We don't really "hang out" with either of our friends. But I definitely enjoy it less hanging out with DH's friends because they've all been married for a long time (so have known him forever) so I feel like a little bit of an outsider no matter how nice everyone is. And they all have kids but so do most of my friends too now that I think of it.
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Posted 1/26/06 8:17 PM |
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