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Opinions on this invitation wording
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Opinions on this invitation wording
I am helping my friend with invitations for our friend's "Sprinkle"..
Baby smiles and giggles galore,
Mary and Joe are having one more
John and Jack don't know what to think
As this little one will wear PINK!
This is a sprinkle to show we care
Join us and lets help them prepare.
What do you think?
Opinions are greatly appreciated. 
ps...these are not their real names...
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Posted 5/30/07 6:19 PM  |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this invitation wording
Sounds great! Just a few MINOR adjustments I would make (I just think it flows better this way, without really changing anything major):
Baby smiles and giggles galore,
Mary and Joe are having one more!
John and Jack don't know what to think
As this little one will be wearing PINK!
This is a sprinkle to show we care ...
Please join us in helping them prepare!
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| Posted 5/30/07 6:26 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Opinions on this invitation wording
Posted by InShock
Sounds great! Just a few MINOR adjustments I would make (I just think it flows better this way, without really changing anything major):
Baby smiles and giggles galore,
Mary and Joe are having one more!
John and Jack don't know what to think
As this little one will be wearing PINK!
This is a sprinkle to show we care ...
Please join us in helping them prepare!
That's so cute! I do like the second version better though 
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| Posted 5/30/07 7:02 PM |
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MatteosMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1494 total posts
Name:
Carolyn
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Re: Opinions on this invitation wording
I think the wording is great...I agree with InShock to change the line to "As thislLittle one will be wearing pink"
But I'd change the last line to:
Please join us and help them prepare.
Good job, it's very cute!!!!
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| Posted 5/30/07 7:27 PM |
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Re: Opinions on this invitation wording
THANK YOU!!! I agree, it sounds much better!
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| Posted 5/31/07 8:24 AM |
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