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Opinions, please-SWR Updated on bottom-thank you!
Ok..so...we recently went to a wedding (they were both in our wedding party, only DH in his..whatever...) and we gave them gifts at all of the appropriate times (shower, etc.).
Now...we kept a spreadsheet of wedding gifts (just to make our lives easier, not for tit for tat purposes) and I thought when I wrote the check, I gave them the same amount they gave us...I made an error (I realized it the day after the wedding) and they still have not cashed the check (it was a month ago)....I was thinking of sending them something for the difference (not obvious) for their 1 month anniversary...
I kinda feel like what's going on though, because I admit making the mistake, DH made me feel like crap about it and I guess the question is..NOW WHAT? Please no flames, it really was an honest mistake...
PS...the difference in amount is $50, if it matters...
Message edited 6/5/2009 8:21:35 PM.
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Posted 6/4/09 5:06 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
I wouldn't feel bad.. I don't think there is a reason the amount should be exactly the same as what they gave you.
As long as you gave them a gift that you felt was appropriate, reflective of your relationship with them, and was what you could afford - than you did good. No reason to second guess yourself just because they wrote and extra $50 onto your check.
Don't beat yourself up!
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:12 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
For $50 I wouldn't worry about it.
Now if you made the check for $20 instead of $200 (just an example) than I would send something, but not for the mistake you made.
I'm sure they aren't losing sleep over it.
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:12 PM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Thanks ladies..DH is making kind of a stink and since they haven't cashed the check is saying things like, "they're mad at us..." and things like that..I mean, since the check hasn't cleared, would you say something???
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:14 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
i don't know that i would make a big deal over it, chances are they aren't keeping 'score' over what they gave you and what you gave them.
If its was $50 difference, i would just let it go.
If you feel you didn't give them enough, thats another story. But if its just to give them what they gave you, then i'd leave it alone.
But thats me.. i don't care about a lot of things that other people do 
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:15 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
Thanks ladies..DH is making kind of a stink and since they haven't cashed the check is saying things like, "they're mad at us..." and things like that..I mean, since the check hasn't cleared, would you say something???
How long has it been? Could they be taking care of the deposit when they get back from their honeymoon?
ETA: I see it's been a month. I still wouldn't say anything yet. I would give it another 2 weeks. Than give them a call to make sure they didn't loose the card.
Message edited 6/4/2009 5:17:49 PM.
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:16 PM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
The wedding was May 9...they got back from their honeymoon at least a week ago...
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:17 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Honestly, I wouldn't worry. Also, is there an event coming up that if you REALLY feel terrible about this, that you can add the $50 to that? IE: buying a new house-get a house warming gift?
You can always take them out to dinner for their month anniversary.
But honestly, if they are mad at you over $50, then they aren't worth it. And also, the first months after getting married are crazy. Don't stress. 
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:18 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
Thanks ladies..DH is making kind of a stink and since they haven't cashed the check is saying things like, "they're mad at us..." and things like that..I mean, since the check hasn't cleared, would you say something???
What would not cashing the check prove on their part? That would be rather petty
Perhaps they're overwhelmed now with getting back from the HM, getting into married life etc. and haven't gotten to it? (not me, i deposited them all the next day..)
I would give it another month and then ask them about it, because then it may have gotten lost etc. and you want to settle it
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:19 PM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
We don't live close enough to them to most likely see them for their one month..they bought a house a while ago and we sent them a housewarming gift...I don't feel guilty until DH makes it so..LOL...thanks everyone, though, I don't think they are those kind of people, but I guess you never know...
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:20 PM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Posted by Otherme
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
Thanks ladies..DH is making kind of a stink and since they haven't cashed the check is saying things like, "they're mad at us..." and things like that..I mean, since the check hasn't cleared, would you say something???
What would not cashing the check prove on their part? That would be rather petty
Perhaps they're overwhelmed now with getting back from the HM, getting into married life etc. and haven't gotten to it? (not me, i deposited them all the next day..)
I would give it another month and then ask them about it, because then it may have gotten lost etc. and you want to settle it
We also cashed ours the next day so that losing them, etc., would not be left to chance...another weird thing...I called her mom to ask where they were staying so we could try and send them something on their honeymoon (friends did this for us and we loved it) and I never got a call back...it's all just odd...
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:23 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
They could just be in the process of setting up joint accounts or something & haven't gotten to the bank yet. Your DH is reading too much into it.
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| Posted 6/4/09 5:24 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Is it possible they lost the check?
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| Posted 6/4/09 6:57 PM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
I have no idea and no idea how to approach it, but I definitely thought of it...
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| Posted 6/4/09 8:51 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Honestly, for $50 I would not worry about it. And if your DH IS right that they're mad at you about that, then I'd say that's pretty petty. I mean, I guess I might better understand his logic if it was like a $200 difference or something, but not for $50. On top of everything else, it was an HONEST mistake on your part and your DH really should just stop making you feel bad about it.
If you reallllllly want to, send them a wine basket or something, but I really don't think it's necessary.
On another note, if they haven't cashed the check in a few weeks, I would call to make sure they didn't lose it.
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| Posted 6/4/09 9:15 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
I honestly think you have nothing to worry about. you know what its like when you first get back to reality after a wedding & HM. things are chaotic. I would give it another few weeks. I bet they will deposit the check.
and really, $50 is not a big deal at all. I could see if they gave you $500 and you gave them $200, but $50 is nothing to get all upset over.
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| Posted 6/4/09 10:34 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
i wouldn't worry so much about it!
it's just $50 like the PPs said..
not a big deal.
tell your DH to lay off the guilt!
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| Posted 6/4/09 11:52 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Posted by tourist
They could just be in the process of setting up joint accounts or something & haven't gotten to the bank yet. Your DH is reading too much into it.
This is what I was thinking too. We didnt cash our checks until we got back, and the bank gave us a hard time because we didn't have a joint account yet, and we have different names, etc...
Do you really think they sat down and compared what they gave you to what you gave them? No way! At least not right after the wedding! I'd tell dh not to stress about it. I'm sure it will be cashed soon
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| Posted 6/5/09 12:04 AM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
The wedding was May 9...they got back from their honeymoon at least a week ago...
Honestly, I would not worry about it. My DH and I were HORRIBLE with cashing our gift checks after the wedding. Our wedding was at the beginning of December and I think we cashed them in March.  That being said, my best friend gave us a card with a check (for a very large amount) that we never received (have no clue what happened to it), so she did reach out to me and ask if I had cashed it after abt 2 months, and I said "what check..."
So you never know, but I don't think it's worth sending an extra $50. If it still isn't cashed in a month, I'd ask if they got it.
eta- typo
Message edited 6/5/2009 6:32:48 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/09 6:32 AM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
Thanks ladies..DH is making kind of a stink and since they haven't cashed the check is saying things like, "they're mad at us..." and things like that..I mean, since the check hasn't cleared, would you say something???
We went on our HM right after the wedding and didn't open our gifts until a few days after we got back, when we got settled. So it may have been close to 3 weeks after the wedding when we cashed our checks. It doesn't mean they are mad at you. Plus some people (like me) are horrible about paperwork and going to the bank right when they receive a check.
Really, I wouldn't even notice a $50 difference. Of course if you want to make yourself feel better, you can send them an edible arrangement or something for their anniversary to show you are thinking of them.
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| Posted 6/5/09 6:49 AM |
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Re: Opinions, please-SWR
Thank you all.the check was cashed today and we are going to send them something for their one month anniversary...whew...lol...
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| Posted 6/5/09 8:21 PM |
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