Our families know about this cycle!!

Hi! I have a step-son and we are not telling him about doing IVF because he is just to young to need to know.

We ended up having to tell our immediate family about this IVF cycle bc I needed them to babysit him while I went for bloodwork and water-sono. We really didn't want them to know exactly when this was going to happen, but my step-son's needs were more important.

So here is the question..... has anyone been through this? Did you tell your family when your transfer was? Did you tell them if you were lucky enough to get a BFP?

Our family (including my mom) has been so respectful in letting DH and I travel this journey as intimately as possible. I just don't know how to handle the next 20-30 days or so.

Thanks!
Amy

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

This is something I have been very open about since I was told I would need IVF. I am very close with my mom and DH with his so its something we didnt feel the need to hide until a BFP comes along. Its nice to have their support though...

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

We are both very close with our families and while we did not share most of our IF journey with them, they did know when we were starting our IVF cycle.

I wasn't planning on telling them when the retrievel and transfer were, but wound up telling them everything! Our families are very respectful and always asked how we were doing and let us know they were thinking of us. I felt very comfortable with them knowing and it was nice knowing we had all of their support and prayers.

We were very lucky and got a BFP. We told them after we went to the doctor to confirm it, but everyone followed our lead and were cautiosly optimistic as we had a prior loss.

I think it is a very personal choice, but for us, it definitely was the right thing for us to do.

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

I am not doing ivf right now but we had to tell some of our family who actually thought somethings was wrong with me when they discovered I was going to the dr. constantly. We really didn't want anyone to know we were ttc and getting infertility help. However when they found out everyone was really supportive and they are always so cautious when the topic comes up. What we told our families (the people who know) was that we wanted to keep it fairly private and we didn't wish for anyone else to know yet. So far it has worked out and it has been nice to have the support.

eta for spelling.

Message edited 8/30/2009 7:24:38 PM.

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

We initially didn't want our families to know either. We did end up telling my side of the family and so far everything has been really good. It's been really nice being able to share what we want and yet they definitely respect our privacy and don't ask many questions.

We are not doing IVF quite yet but we do not inform them of what days were are doing IUIs or when/if we will know of any results. They do know eventually whether they have worked or not and if we get a BFP they would be the first to know.

Good luck with your transfer!!!

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

My sister, mother, MIL and 3 BFF's know every step of every cycle and it does sting to have call 6 people to tell the about the BFN's but the support feels great.

We are doing IUI, so nt in the same boat per say, but you get the idea.

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

We only opened up about our issues when we had to move to IVF. I was VERY open with our families and shared the entire thing with them (the meds, what each med did, the whole process...) I miscarried after our first IVF attempt and my family had a less than supportive attitude about it.

They all knew the plan was to start right away again, but we didn't give any details the 2nd time around. They did not know when my ER or ET was. It was less stress on us this way too. I understand though the need to be open though especially if you need someone to watch your step-son.

We are getting ready to do a FET for #2, and nobody knows we are doing this. However, with that said....once my transfer comes around, we may need to tell my MIL so she can watch DD especially since I won't be able to lift/carry her around for a few days past transfer.

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

we have been very open with our families about the whole thing -it's nice to have support from the people you love and who love you. good luck!

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

My blabber-mouth DH has told EVERYONE he meets. He is a carpenter----all of the home owners know, his co-workers, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, family, etc.

I guess it's good that it's not a big secret but he goes a little over-board!

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

Everyone new we were doing IVF. We did 4 IVF cycles. The 1st 3, everyone knew we were doing them and when. And it was cool to talk about it IRL to friends and family. I admit it was because I thought they would work for me. And in my situation, each failed cycle was horrible for me. But, even more horrible to have to tell my family and friends it didn't work too. And my MIL would get so upset for us, because she knows how badly we want a baby. So, when we did our 4th and final cycle. We didn't even tell ANYONE that we were doing it. And it was actually so much better because when it failed too, I didn't have to disappoint anyone. I did end up secretly telling both my Mom and my MIL. But, about 2 months after the fact. However, I would assume if one of those cycles worked it would have been fine that I told them. So, its all up to you and how you feel about it etc...

And in a way, everyone knew we were going to do #4, now that we've moved onto DE, I will tell everyone that the DE cycle is #4. Though I am sure eventually i will tell everyone how it came about, if it works.

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

Posted by skinny

My blabber-mouth DH has told EVERYONE he meets. He is a carpenter----all of the home owners know, his co-workers, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, family, etc.

I guess it's good that it's not a big secret but he goes a little over-board!

Re: Our families know about this cycle!!

My life was an open book.. I begged anyone and everyone for prayers.. I can remember I was in pathmark and asked one of the cashiers to pray for me.. No joke.. I am not telling you to be like me but there is a freedom in revealing this to those who love you.. If you do more than one cycle (I hope not).. Do one telling and one not.. You will see a difference.