Parents fighting

Anybody ever feel like they are the mediator when their parents fight? I do! My mom tries to talk to me, and I feel bad because I tell her I don't want to hear it, cause then I get mad at my Dad for being an a$$. Anybody go through this? How do you deal with it?

Re: Parents fighting

I think as hard as it is, sometimes its just important to stay out of it - and not take sides, even if you know one of them is at fault. Sometimes its important for parents to not get their children involved in their marital relationships.

In the longrun if it happens often, getting involved can begin to make you feel awful about ever taking sides, and its all because of something you had nothing to do with from the get go.

Re: Parents fighting

Yep! Have been dealing with it. Today, had to deal too but it was a silly thing and all is well! Im like "Hellooo, I dont live here anymore, why do you drag me in?".
Of course I feel guilty for thinking like that but thats what runs through my head. I love them so much and hate seeing them argue!

Re: Parents fighting

I would stay out of it as much as you can. My parents (divorced) used to do this, and one of them still does (to a degree) but I refuse to listen. They are still the parents, and their marriage is none of my business. (I also come from the school that no one's marriage is anyone else's business, so that's the line I use.) I am also a family law attorney, and I see the damage it does to kids who are constantly put in the middle. Sometimes, parents don't realize the emotional junk they unload upon their kids until it's too late. I hope you find a way to get out of it - tell them it's their problem, and they have to handle it!

ETA: I just reread this, and I hope you don't think I am being harsh. I know it must be hard to say to your mom, I can't handle it, but just tell her in the sweetest way possible that she'll have to find someone else to talk to about her troubles with your dad, and she should work it out with dad, not you. Tell her you love her, but for the family's sake, it's better to leave you out. Otherwise, she forgives dad, but you get left behind to form grudges. Not fair to you at all. Good luck!

Message edited 8/9/2005 5:40:21 PM.