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Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

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RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3990 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Does anyone else have a parent who seems to have no interest in your pregnancy? We told my dad about two weeks ago and while he seemed happy for us he didnt seem interested at all about hearing about the pregnancy. His girlfriend didn't really act happy either. I get it he is a man and maybe it's just not his thing. I kind of expected the reaction but at the same time I figured he'did atleast ask how I was feeling but I got nothing.

Last week I went in for a visit because I had some light bleeding so I took a pic of the ultrasound and sent it to a few people who were worried. I included my dad because we hadn't shown him one and his only response was the baby had a big head. This week I went back for a follow up so when I mentioned I had a few new ultrasound photos he just changed the subject.

It sucks because he's my dad and my step dad and fil are completely opposite and ask all the time how I'm doing and they look forward to the pics. I just wish he would show a little more interest. I have a feeling well drift even further apart because I'm going to be annoyed he isn't going to show interest in the baby when it gets here.

Posted 4/30/16 5:00 AM
 
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Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

6656 total posts

Name:

Re: Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Everyone seems to react to the news differently. Is this his first grandkid? My mil and fil were over the moon when we told them- they had just the best reaction. My mom said she was too young to be a grandma and seemed less than enthused for the first few weeks. I was disappointed but I came to find out that she was worried she wouldn't have time to spend with her since she works full time and there's no way she's retiring any time soon, like my grandmother did when I was born. We talked about it and how it was different times and she became to accept her reality for her life with her first grandkid and felt better and became more excited. Also with men it doesn't sometimes seem so real until they can actually SEE the evidence in front of them.DH was ecstatic but didn't talk about it much with me until he could see my belly getting bigger. Then he became much more interested in each weeks milestones and things like that. I'm sorry you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for though, I know it can be disappointing.

Posted 4/30/16 6:14 AM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3990 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

I totally get what your saying about it could just be a man thing but he purposely changes the subject anytime the pregnancy comes up. Like last night I mentioned my doctors visit and he changed the subject to the new puppy he just got. Sorry I just needed to vent. Thanks

Posted 4/30/16 7:11 AM
 

evrythng4areason
And then there were 4

Member since 1/10

5224 total posts

Name:
Kayla

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Eh, for some people pregnancy isn't that exciting. I mean, the sonogram pics are exciting for us, but if you're being honest they look like little aliens in there. Also, they're not experiencing what you are. That doesn't mean that they won't be excited once the baby is born. A tangible baby is usually much more exciting than a grainy black and white pic.

Posted 4/30/16 7:33 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

I think we expect everyone to be as excited and want to hear every milestone/change but in reality they don't. I wouldn't read anything more into it than people just aren't going to be as crazy excited as we kind want them to be. Same thing with our weddings. I remember tons of the same types of posts.

Posted 4/30/16 8:03 AM
 

Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6826 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

My dad was somewhat that way. He gets grossed out by anything medical/bodily function related and much of pregnancy is under that category. He would get very uncomfortable and change the subject if I went into any detail about anything pregnancy related. He also is very uncomfortable holding babies, so he's not overly interested after they're born either. I don't take it personally, it's just how he is. My mom is over the moon though.

Posted 4/30/16 10:53 AM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7274 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

When I told my parents, my dad was happy for 5 seconds and my mom was thrilled to death (first grandchild). My inlaws were happy but didn't really seem to care too much (not first grandchild, and my SIL was pregnant at the same time).

Fast forward and now dd is here. My parents never come see her, my dad can't even be bothered to wash his hands to hold her. My inlaws have been involved and helpful and love spending time with dd.

So, their reactions now don't predict the future. I can see it being hard to wrap their head around a baby who isn't here yet. Once that LO arrives I'm sure they'll be head over heels!

Posted 4/30/16 11:55 AM
 

ourlivesstartnow2012
New Year, New Everything!

Member since 6/12

2689 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Is he one that doesn't really show emotion?

With our first my family was excited but my dad was more than my mom and older sister. They didn't really seem too excited. But once they held my DS, their worlds changed. I know it's hard and upsetting to feel like it's not important but maybe he just doesn't know how to express it and when the baby comes, things will be different.

Posted 5/2/16 11:57 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

Name:

Re: Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Yes, my mom was like this, but it's just the type of person she is.

Posted 5/2/16 12:02 PM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3990 total posts

Name:

Re: Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Posted by ourlivesstartnow2012

Is he one that doesn't really show emotion?

With our first my family was excited but my dad was more than my mom and older sister. They didn't really seem too excited. But once they held my DS, their worlds changed. I know it's hard and upsetting to feel like it's not important but maybe he just doesn't know how to express it and when the baby comes, things will be different.



It just always seems like he is never happy for DH and I when a life event happens. When we bought our house he just got quiet. Didn't even say congrats just asked us who else we told. He seemed somewhat happy for us when we initially told him about the baby but then whenever it comes up he changes the subject to something going on in his life even if we've heard the same story before. I mentioned the sono pics figuring he might wanna see them but he just brushed it off and started talking about his new puppy

Posted 5/2/16 1:56 PM
 

NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!

Member since 5/11

10413 total posts

Name:

Re: Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Posted by RainyDay

Posted by ourlivesstartnow2012

Is he one that doesn't really show emotion?

With our first my family was excited but my dad was more than my mom and older sister. They didn't really seem too excited. But once they held my DS, their worlds changed. I know it's hard and upsetting to feel like it's not important but maybe he just doesn't know how to express it and when the baby comes, things will be different.



It just always seems like he is never happy for DH and I when a life event happens. When we bought our house he just got quiet. Didn't even say congrats just asked us who else we told. He seemed somewhat happy for us when we initially told him about the baby but then whenever it comes up he changes the subject to something going on in his life even if we've heard the same story before. I mentioned the sono pics figuring he might wanna see them but he just brushed it off and started talking about his new puppy



Have you ever told him how you feel?

Posted 5/2/16 2:07 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Crashing.

My dad was never interested. He was happy, congratulated me, etc, but other than that, never was very grandfatherly.

DS is 9 now. Not much has changed. Some people just aren't into being grandparents. Kind of sucks. But DS has his family and he knows who loves him!

Posted 5/4/16 8:35 PM
 

Mags1227
Just a mommy ...

Member since 10/10

2665 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Posted by RainyDay

Posted by ourlivesstartnow2012

Is he one that doesn't really show emotion?

With our first my family was excited but my dad was more than my mom and older sister. They didn't really seem too excited. But once they held my DS, their worlds changed. I know it's hard and upsetting to feel like it's not important but maybe he just doesn't know how to express it and when the baby comes, things will be different.



It just always seems like he is never happy for DH and I when a life event happens. When we bought our house he just got quiet. Didn't even say congrats just asked us who else we told. He seemed somewhat happy for us when we initially told him about the baby but then whenever it comes up he changes the subject to something going on in his life even if we've heard the same story before. I mentioned the sono pics figuring he might wanna see them but he just brushed it off and started talking about his new puppy



crashing...

my dad's reactions to the big events were very similar.
it did not come from his lack of caring, but the idea that his little girl is old enough to get engaged, married, have a baby was just too much of a shock. as much as we feel like grown-ups, sometimes all our parents see is their babies.

now, my dad LOVES DS. he's the one who always busy him things whenever my parents go shopping (and then blames my mom), he acts silly around him, lets him get away with murder.

hopefully, once the baby is here, your dad will be as excited as any other grandparent.

Posted 5/5/16 9:50 AM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3990 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

Thanks all for the encouraging words. I hope he acts differently once the baby is here.

Posted 5/5/16 8:06 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7993 total posts

Name:

Parents have no interest in pregnancy?

crashing, not preg, but my dad would behave the same way, in fact he prob would not even ask how I am feeling. He knows I want a baby and told me about one month ago he does not want to be a grandfather. Very painful to hear but, he had no interest in me when I was a child to present day

However, he loved my dog and would visit her in the hospital (never me but the dog)

I am sending you HUGS. No advise just HUGS

Posted 5/5/16 9:26 PM
 
 

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